5.13 Some Like It Hoth

With all the Egyptian whackiness going on recently on the island, overkill if you ask me to the point where I think it’s just another red herring, a distraction, to what is really going on, I had assumed that “Hoth” was a god of some type. Turns out it is a reference to the movie Hurley was writing a script for, Empire Strikes Back. Now, I’ve never been much of a Star Wars fan, and have not seen this movie in about 20 years or so, but I did some research on it to gain some insight into the Lost episode. I’m sure I could make some comparisons like Sawyer is Han Solo, and Luke and Leia had sex off the island, and that Hurley is the offspring of Chewbacca and the Death Star, but there might be a deeper meaning here other than the silly analogy of Hurley’s about Luke and Darth Vader’s lack of communication. Also, I’m getting a bit tired of everybody on the show having daddy issues. Holy smokes. Jack, Kate (step dad), Hurley, Claire, Sun, Ben, Sawyer, Miles, Locke, Penny, etc. What is going on here? Anyway,
in the movie, the rebels relocated to Hoth. However an Imperial probe droid, before self destructing, discovered the base on Hoth. The Rebels, acting on this discovery, immediately began preparations to leave. However Darth Vader's Imperial Death Squadron arrived in time to intercept them, forcing the Rebels into combat in order to cover their escape. Although the Empire won the Battle of Hoth by destroying the Rebel base and capturing many Rebel personnel and equipment, the Rebels didn't attempt a full-scale defense, but rather worked to stall the Empire's forces long enough to stage an effective evacuation, and to allow the deletion of compromising information as to the whereabouts of the Rebel Fleet. Since the Rebels did successfully evacuate vital leadership and some personnel and equipment, the Empire failed to do more than stall the Rebels' plans, and the Rebel Fleet remained elusive. I think this may be about the past, the future, or both, about the island’s history. If you think along the lines of the past, the death squad would be the Others, who found out about the construction of the Swan hatch, and used Ben’s help to stage the purge and wipe out Dharma. But not before some evacuation happened, for example Miles and his mother. Being that Dharma sunk a ton of money and time into the island, it would make sense that they would try to figure out why they can’t communicate with their people on the island any more. They may or may not know that they are dead. But I can’t see them giving up on trying to return to the island. In essence, the purge was a stalling of Dharma’s true purposes. On the other hand, this could very well be a foretelling of the future, where an upcoming war is going to take place. Between what groups, we aren’t quite clear yet. But at this point, it looks like 3 different groups. Which we will explore later on in the write-up.

Among all the not too subtle appearances of the numbers throughout the episode and rabbits hiding keys, we get some understanding of Miles’ abilities during his own flashback episode. We sees flashes/images in his head of the deceased and their thoughts. Although, there is a seemingly absurd continuity error, in that when we first learned of Miles’ talent back in Season 4, he was talking to the spirit of the dead kid, communicating to him without a body around. So, how did he find the money in the kid’s room, much less tell the body to help him find it by making noise behind the dresser. Let me repeat, there was no body there. It does not add up. Miles keeps asking to see the bodies on the island so that he can read the mind of the deceased. Anyway, Miles’ creeps out his mother and potential landlord. Sawyer asks Miles for a favor and erase the Zapruder film, which Miles fails miserably in accomplishing. Come on, we knew somebody would discover it by the end of the episode, no matter how dumb Dharma comes off as. Three years down the tubes, as Sawyer is running out of lies to cover up the messes Jack, Kate, Sayid, and Hurley have made since returning. It’s going to end badly. As Horace indoctrinates Miles into the Circle of Trust, I was expecting some kind of joke right out of Meet the Parents and Miles responding with skepticism about milking Horace’s teats, but it was not meant to be. Miles is asked to go into a forbidden zone, where he does not discover the Statue of Liberty buried in sand up to it’s neck, but Radzinsky with a gun. Radzinsky really needs to smoke some pot or something, because he is so high strung he is about to go post office on everybody. Bring out your dead, and Miles asks the body in the van if he can buy him a drink.

Miles goes to see his mother as she is dying. Wow, is she stubborn. Right to the end, she keeps thinking Miles’ father is a bad guy, or at least that is what she wants Miles to think. But even as I was saying back during the first episode of this season and probably alluding to it last season, Miles is Dr Chang’s son. How bad of a guy could he have been if she and Miles got off the island alive while the purge killed so many people. Still, Miles at bedside was a bit like watching Peter Parker at Aunt May’s bedside, wondering about why he has these superpowers. “He is where you can never go”. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never go. Just roll over and gasp your last breath, you useless sack of suck. Miles walks in while Horace is talking to Dr Chang about the possibility of electromagnetism causing the death of the Dharmite. It’s more troubling trying to figure out why Horace is hanging out in the security station all day long. Completely unnecessary, other than a plot device to keep Miles occupied and away from his duty of destroying the tape. “LaFleur has disappeared on us”. Geez. How about checking in on dying Ben supposedly in the infirmary. Or the disappearance of Sayid. Yet Horace is more worried about the chauffer of corpses on the island. It’s just bothering me so much about all of Dharmaville not caring about the status of Ben. And it’s now really, really bothering me that the Others are either not aware of the Swan being built on forbidden land, or are allowing it to happen. What the hell is going on? Flounder and Pinto take a road trip to the Orchid with rotting meat in plastic bags. And a corpse too. Kate and Roger arrive at the makeshift hospital. Roger goes bananas over Ben disappearing, as he should have. And Juliet’s master plan to cover up for Ben being gone “I don’t know what happened.”

Why does every friggin’ thing have to have a Dharma symbol? Hurley is writing in a common composition notebook, with a prominent Dharma symbol on the front. We get it. You’re Dharma. But it’s paper, dammit. Our dead buddy had a dental filling shoot through his brain, which ranks way down on the list of most likely ways to die, along side being beaten to death by a smoke monster, blown up holding a grenade underwater, falling out of a tree inside a plane, being blown up holding a stick of unlit dynamite, and being buried alive after suffering from a bite from a spider. Yep, the odds of anything like that happening are impossible. Miles visit some guy who called him from apparently Craig’s List, and instead of a date, they hold hands…then again, are we sure this wasn’t a date? Miles does a fraud and run, reminding us yet again that Sawyer is not the only con man on the island. And why does Mr Gray think his son didn’t know that he loved him. Isn’t that kind of an assumed fact in any family? If I had a kid, and he died, I wouldn’t spend hundreds of bucks trying to confirm the obvious. And Naomi shows up. Roger, instead of running around DharmaCrazyland, screaming about Ben being shot and now kidnapped, he is sitting on a swing and chugging beers. This has zero realism, and I could not understand this scene for the life of me. What? So Kate could come over and tell Roger she has a feeling things are going to work out. Which sets Roger off into accusations and deep seated suspicions about Kate. Think about it. The most drunk person in Dharma is also the most observant. The new people are not who they seem to be. No wonder they got gassed. We get it. Kate gave back Aaron to his family after several years of getting away with kidnapping. She is sad. So she goes over to comfort Roger over Ben. Yep. A kidnapper/murderer comforting someone about having their real child shot and then stolen. Look at all the things you have in common. Then Roger gives Kate a good talking to. You want to help? Mind your own business. FACE. Kate is like someone that attends a funeral but has Tourette’s Syndrome and just blurts out horrible things. But in Kate’s case, it’s not a medical issue. She is simply stupid. Hurley and Miles argue over their superpowers, meet with Dr Chang at the Orchid, and are threatened by polar bear feces. Well, we can officially call that little island Hydra Island, since that is what Chang called it. And one of the more touching moments in TV history. “That douche is my dad.” I almost got a bit choked up over the beautiful sentiment expressed in the graceful language of feminine hygiene products. I checked my pants. Sure enough, I peed a little.

Naomi gives Miles a test and a wad of cash. A man that was delivering photos, papers on mass grave excavations, and purchase orders for a plane. This was indeed part of the Oceanic 815 cover up, which seems to have been perpetrated by Charles Widmore, until we get evidence to the contrary. So, one of Widmore’s guys got killed and Miles was accurate about his thoughts. 1.6 million is a lot of money, and exactly half of the bizarre money request Miles demanded from Ben back on the island during Season 4 in a trade off to keep his mouth shut. 3.2 million. Now we know why that specific total, and why Miles wanted to talk to Ben in the first place. Miles is told that the man they are after is responsible for many deaths on the island. But, they were mostly Dharma. So why would Widmore care about going after the murderer of Dharma? It’s not a selling point to recruit Miles. Hey, go chase after a sociopath. Widmore was an Other. One thing I’m thinking here is that maybe Widmore has joined forces with Dharma. After all, he was the one who allowed them to do what they wanted on the island to begin with. I don’t know how much I really believe it though. Still, it makes no sense to tell Miles any of this. Hurley is trying to make sense of Dr Candle/Halliwax being the father of Miles and the guy on all of those orientation tapes. Which I’m not sure if Miles has ever seen one, so why bring it up in the first place other than to remind the viewer who he is. Nit picking, I know, I know. Miles is still doing the what happened, happened schtick. Body? What body? OK, what did that creep Chang do to the body? Why did the Other’s want Paul’s body. What is it with this island and the dead bodies’ importance? The Orchid can transport people. Did they send the dead guy somewhere? The desert in Tunisia? Jack is trying to cover for a drunk Roger. Now, if I’m Dharma, and I have a blatant alcoholic workman, maybe I’d try harder to keep him from showing up for work drunk. Nope, not happening. Besides, Roger had a busy afternoon reporting Ben missing to security. Nope, didn’t do that either. Well, my kid is gone. Pass me the beer nuts. This village is Children of the Corn. Nobody behaves like a real human being. Nobody. Roger and Jack have an alky to alky conversation. Roger expresses all his suspicions about Stalker Kate, and instead of Jack saying to old Roger…
1. You’re drunk. Go home and sleep it off.
2. You’re just upset and paranoid after a long emotional day.
3. I’m a dope. What do I know?
Or do you go with…
4. Kate is my buddy. She would not hurt your son.
So, which would be the most convincing thing to say to allay Roger’s fears and suspicions. If you picked 4, immediately head to your garage, grab your claw hammer, and start whacking yourself in the head with the curvy end. Jack just aligned himself with Roger’s enemy. That’s not a bright thing to do. Meanwhile, during a van ride, Hurley is trying to set up a play date for Chang and Miles. They pull up at the Swan construction site, and I’m awestruck by how much equipment these guys have. Considering all the hatches built on this island, the Hydra island, the Looking Glass underwater, the Barracks, etc, how did they do all of it? How do you get so much equipment to an island that is difficult to find to begin with? The logistics must have been a nightmare. So, this is probably the origination point of the “incident” that has been referred to in the past. The accident that forces someone in the Swan to push a button for seemingly for eternity. Did they dig in the wrong spot, hit Jughead, and go Oops. Were they thinking this particular spot was as special as the Orchid in unique properties for other reasons completely, that have nothing to do with the bomb? And of course, Hurley watches them stamp out the numbers on the hatch lid.

Miles gets pulled into a van being occupied by some masked men, and some unmasked that are familiar. Namely, Bram, one of Ilana’s buddies on Hydra island 3 years from now. He tells Miles not to join Widmore’s boat, his apartment is being watched, and then asks him the familiar “what lies in the shadow of the statue?” As I pointed out last week, that phrase is a code, a way for like minded people to recognize each other. A password. Clearly, Frank didn’t know it last week, and Miles didn’t this week. So, since this organization has been around for at least a couple of years, who are they? Well, they aren’t Widmore, since they don’t want Miles on that boat that Widmore’s people recruited him for. Are they associated with Ben? Probably not. Neither Bram nor Ilana made any effort on the island to communicate with Ben. Do they even know who Ben is? They know Widmore. Yet, Bram offered to tell Miles information about his powers, his father, all the secrets he has been yearning to learn. Who would have that type of specific information? How about the employer of Miles’ father, Dharma Initiative. Dharma must have known Widmore since they cut a truce with the Others on the island during the time Widmore was in charge. Much like Widmore, they’ve been trying to get back to the island. But if they potentially don’t know that it is Ben leading the Others who gassed Dharma, maybe they don’t know the statue has no shadow right now because it’s just a single foot. The Others may have torn down the statue for this very reason, in case Dharma ever came back to exact their revenge. So, Widmore is after Ben for revenge. Dharma is out for revenge. The Others are somewhere on the island. The Losties are caught up in the middle of it. Don’t forget, when the freighter was off the LOST island, there was speculation this was Dharma out for revenge. I was an early advocate that the freighter was Widmore. NOW, I’m willing to consider the Dharma returning theory. The problem is that if there are a butterfly effect ripples caused by the Losties in 1977, maybe the statue is in tact in 2007 in current time. Bram throws around some threats, then lets Miles go. Which is odd. If you don’t want Miles on the boat, why not just tie him up and hold him for a few days, until the boat leaves without him. Miles throws a self pity party about his father not being around and not caring. We stated earlier that this was probably bullsh!t. Hurley tells Miles that he was happy he gave his father another chance. But Hurley, if you didn’t win a huge lottery, you’re father would still be in Las Vegas. He came back for the money. Not you. The MONEY. But do ahead and believe what you want as you mash that garlic into your special mayo. Hurley is writing the screen play for Empire Strikes Back instead of something useful, like a journal to hide for himself to discover 27 years from now to tell him what is going on and what will happen. Sawyer goes home, and Jack is there to tell him about how dummy Kate poked her nose into Roger’s ass, and there is trouble brewing. I still can’t believe Roger hasn’t told anybody about Ben missing. Phil comes moseying along to talk to Sawyer. That eyebrow of his continues to haunt me week after week. It looks like he has two wind shield wipers on his forehead. That makeup artist that Michele Obama is dragging with her every she goes so that they can work on her face to make her look less angry, they need to let that person work on Phil. Phil needs someone to run a lawnmower across his brow. He has Sawyer dead to rights with the video tape, but dummy didn’t go to Horace yet, who has been hanging out in the security station all day. Right. Got it. Now Horace is missing. OK, I’m suspending my beliefs again. La, la, la. Sawyer leads him inside and punches him in the eyebrows. Tie him up. Oh, I’m sure Juliet will do just fine with that assignment. And after that, she will pull out some wooden blocks, grab a big ‘ole sledge hammer, and start whacking away at the ankles of that dirty birdie.

Miles admits to lying to Mr Gray and returns the money. It’s not fair to his son to lie. Actually, Miles is not being fair to the father. I never understood why somebody would bare their soul to feel better as Miles obviously did, but hurt somebody deeply in the process. Great, you feel better. But look at the damage you have done to somebody else. It’s a supreme act of selfishness. Miles watches his father doting on young Miles, and I’m surprised the universe doesn’t implode. Two Miles in the same exact place and time. Paradox? Meanwhile, Hurley has been making Miles feel guilty all episode long. If Miles cracks, and tells Chang that he is the grown up Miles in the next couple of episodes, bad things will happen. They go to meet the sub arriving with visitors from Ann Arbor, the headquarters of Dharma. I was anticipating the arrival of the DeGroots, but instead we get the anticlimactic return of Daniel. Yawn. We was off the island, and now he is back. Fine. There better be an interesting point to all that.

I thought the biggest development in this episode was Bram and the possible 3rd party involvement in the island affairs in the upcoming war. The Miles flashbacks weren’t all that interesting other than the van scene. I thought they could have really done some cool things with his ability. Is there any point to Miles’ story anymore? Nope. He is expendable and will probably die soon. Other than that, I was in general disappointed with this episode. This has been such a disappointing season in the sheer inconsistencies in the episodes. Some have been terrific, especially the early ones not focused on the Oceanic 6. The ones mostly featuring Dharma crap, especially since Jack and Kate returned, have been rather weak. I know the cliffhangers have been typically very good, so I hope all this is building up to something good.