6.6 Sundown

A wise man once said if you love somebody, then set them on fire. Well, he might have been an angry man too. All his neighbors said he was quiet and kept to himself, seemed like a harmless little fock. Hardly ever hid in his neighbor’s bushes to spy on the ladies next door undressing. Cats were being found throughout the neighborhood, strangled. People were really upset about the cats. Then homeless people were being found throughout the neighborhood, strangled. People were really upset about the cats. This season is lacking something. I know the people running the show have recently been assuring all the LOST fans that they have no intention of answering all the questions that we have desperately demanded, and that despite the last few seasons being primarily non stop action and excitement and violence and heavy science fiction, the show is really about the characters and their relationships. I suppose it is possible they aren’t watching the same show as me, but the characters are the worst part of the show. Well, at least some of the main ones. Terry O’Quinn is giving the performance of a grandmaster. The rest of the folks, especially this season, not so much. Some are completely useless in every possible way. Yes, I’m talking about Sun. Enough about the characters. Sigh. I really love this show, so it might be time to set it on fire. Just end it now. Unless MIB wins in the end, there is little chance I will feel satisfied with the ending. As Rick Moranis told us in Spaceballs “now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb” Geez, Jacob has really hitched his wagon to the Dumb Train. Jack, Hurley, maybe even Sun. If Jacob’s master plan is to have Jack take his place as the guardian against evil in this world, then Jacob is as sharp as a bowl of mush. I want to bring Jacob back to life so I can kill him. Then bring him back and let MIB kill him again. Talk about loops. Sheesh. I miss the times when I’d be watching a LOST episode and literally say “What the fock?” I haven’t done that this season, not once. A Sayid centric episode, and after watching it a few times, I warmed up to it. Some really nice action scenes, some creepy moments, and the horrific and depressingly boring LAX timeline keeps going and going and going. ZZZZZ. Seemingly, the incident led to the LAX timeline, and we are seeing the characters make different choices. Sometimes. Sayid is still a torturer, but he is mostly torturing himself. Oh, and he is still a killer. Some things never change.

Sayid arrives with flowers in hand for Nadia, one of the dozens of true loves of his life. This time Nadia is smarter, since anybody that has sex with Sayid ends up dying (Nadia, Shannon, Elsa). She is alive and married to Sayid’s brother Omer. We last saw Omer as a young boy, being told by his father to kill a chicken. Omer couldn’t do it, so young Sayid took the chicken, broke its neck, and told Omer to take credit for it. Omer confessed what really happened, and Mr Jarrah praised Sayid. Sayid went on to have a wonderfully fulfilling life of killing, torturing, watching his girlfriends and wife die, shooting a young child, and becoming infected. In this life, he is a translator for an oil company. No doubt, he is still killing, torturing, shooting young children, and becoming infected. His sister in law has been writing him letters to which he doesn’t respond to and Sayid is carrying around the same photo of a young Nadia that he had on the island that the FBI gave to him when he did them a solid and helped break up a terrorist cell. How this same exact photo came into his possession in this timeline is bizarre. Anyway, this photo tips off Omer that Sayid has feelings for his wife. Sounds like a plot line for a sitcom, as shenanigans are right around the corner. Sayid is taking a leisurely stroll through the unguarded Temple. Well, since this guy is infected and dangerous, it makes perfect sense not to assign anybody to keep an eye on him. Sayid demands answers from Dogen, about the machine, about being tortured. Sayid’s scale is tipped to evil. Well, I suppose dust, electricity, and a hot poker in the stomach can tell you such stuff. Actually, no, I rather think it is not possible. Maybe Dogen can run a vacuum cleaner over Sayid next time, as it will give him the same information. Sigh. Dogen assures Sayid that it would be best if Sayid were dead. We realize then and there that Dogen and Sayid are not going to be best friends. S: You think you know me, but you don’t. I’m a good man. The first sentence sounds familiar, something that Sayid has spoken before, but I just can’t place it. The second sentence is completely crazy. Sayid would never call himself a good man. Yep, the Dust Buster test was right on. A spontaneous karate fight breaks out. For a man that doesn’t like the taste of English on his tongue, he sure wants the taste of Sayid’s fist mashing his face. But Asian Epic Beard Man does well in this brouhaha, and is about to stab Sayid in the throat. Fortunately for Sayid, a baseball smelling vaguely of liquor and tears rolls off a table and hits the floor. Dogen says one of the following “Geez, this place is a mess” or “I insist that you have some tea” or “leave and never come back” or “go home and get your focking shinebox”. MIB and Claire are standing at the ash circle surrounding the Temple. Claire is preparing herself to head to the Temple and deliver a message. She wonders why Jin or Sawyer can’t do it. This is a very strong assumption, saying that both are on the side of MIB. Neither are seemingly infected yet as far as we know. Jin is nursing his bad leg, most likely at Claire’s camp. Sawyer is either with Jin or stuck in a cave with no ladder to climb back up to the top. Regardless, it is a very strongly implied message sent to us, even though Jin never has pledged his allegiance. Claire has made a deal for sure. Claire wants her son back, and the MIB claims to always do what he says. Anyway, MIB says that he cannot deliver the message himself. MIB promises to hurt only the ones who don’t listen. Well, there’s Jacob for you. Ready to sacrifice each and every person on the island. And, where’s Richard been hiding? He should have reached the Temple by know. Hell, where are the Beach Others that left for the Temple after MIB killed Jacob. Shouldn’t they be at the Temple by now, warning everybody inside what has happened. Where did everybody go? Are all of them caught in Claire traps around the island?

Omer wakes Sayid and tells him about borrowing money from a loan shark and he is in trouble. He turns down a money offer and wants Sayid to persuade these gentlemen from breaking his head. He tempts and guilts Sayid with the knowledge of Sayid caring for his wife. Awkward. Cue the laugh track. Sayid claims that he is not that man anymore. Which is a shame, because he was a badass when he was mindlessly killing at Ben’s command. Now, Sayid might as well put on a sweater vest and buy a tiny lap dog. Sayid notifies Miles that he is being banished for being evil. Miles shows us why the writers haven’t killed him off yet by explaining that Sayid was dead for hours, and whatever brought him back wasn’t the Others. Thanks Miles, see you next week. Claire strolls in. Problems: 1. How did she know about a secret passage to get in? MIB told her? So, MIB has been inside the Temple before? 2. Are there any guards anywhere? The Losties got captured in the caves under the Temple. Now, anybody can walk in at any time. It’s a convenience store, but busier. I could go on and on, but won’t. I’m not sure why I am showing restraint at this point, but it comes and goes. Claire tells Dogen that he has been scheduled for an appointment with You Know Who, a blatant poke at us that would like to know MIB’s name so we could stop typing the ridiculous “MIB” every time. Dogen claims he is no fool, but he will soon learn that he lost a game of Hide and Go Seek to a brain dead doctor and his rotund friend who couldn’t successfully conceal himself behind a Dharma van. Claire begins the MIB long con by telling Dogen that if he is worried about being killed, then he should send someone to MIB that won’t be killed, knowing that Dogen would send the infected Sayid. Who else could it have been? Me, I would have sent young Emma. Kids are useless on this show. Claire is thrown down a hole, but not the good kind like Alice in Wonderland. Holy hell, how many more commercials of Helena Bonham Carter resting his feet on a pig belly do I have to see? In Dogen’s world leave and never come back is roughly 5 minutes, and invites Sayid in for a chat. He explains that Claire is confused, under the influence of a very angry man, a man that has been trapped, with Jacob gone, he is now free and wants to destroy every living thing on the island. Wow, what did Vincent do to deserve death? But it shows that MIB was a prisoner of sorts, and who doesn’t want to be free. If I was trapped, I’d be angry too. Sh!!t, Dogen just made me feel bad for MIB. MIB is becoming a sympathetic character. Jacob continues to be the assh0le in the show. The MIB is Evil Incarnate. No, that’s not a proper first and last name. The most common definitions of the term are: Evil incarnate is the physical embodiment of evil, a being embodied or created of pure evil. Also, evil incarnate is a person who is dedicated to an ideal or goal more important than people, to the point where this person is willing to sacrifice huge masses of them to further this ideal or goal. Which describes both MIB and Jacob, right? Evil incarnate is also defined as a mushy old, bald man that may still be lying on his front lawn. Dogen: I want you to get this fock where he breathes! I want you to find this nancy-boy MIB, I want him dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna piss on his ashes! Well, he might have said that. Dogen tends to mumble a bit. Dogen further explains that MIB will come to you as someone you know, someone that has died. Clearly, that is what MIB always does. Except for when he appears to you as live person (tall ghost Walt) or as an animal (Hurley bird, black horse, spiders). Sloppy writing. Dogen presents the weapon, a Roman Pugio dagger, which is to slay MIB. Plunge it into his chest, before he has a chance to speak. Not literally speaking, as far as I’m concerned. But since MIB is a conman, he can and will talk you into stuff. Wait, I think Jacob might be OK with Jack taking on MIB. Jack is too stupid to understand a con, and reacts irrationally in situations where he is uncomfortable, then breaks some mirrors or turns his own father in for malpractice. Dogen wants Sayid to prove that there is still good left in him. If I’m Sayid, I’m not exactly motivated by Dogen’s task of killing MIB, and I really don’t see much upside in proving anything to guy that has tried to kill you a couple of times. Dogen is the worst motivational speaker ever. And lives in a van down by the river.

After seeing his niece and nephew get on a school bus, Sayid and Nadia find out that Omer has been mugged and hospitalized. As they dash down a hospital hallway, they scamper past Dr Jack. Well, Sayid did help Jack in saving Charlie’s life on the plane, but fails to recognized the doctor. Omer has a punctured lung and internal bleeding, somewhat similar in the type of injury Sayid died from on the island. Nadia reacts the complete opposite way of a normal human being, and tells Sayid not to do anything about Omer’s predicament. Sayid agrees to do absolutely nothing, a very odd thing for a man of action to do. As Sayid is walking through the jungle, Kate pops out and says “Who’s there?” You’re on an island where many different types of people and things have been trying to kill you at times. You jump out and say “Who’s there?” Way to be cautious, dingbat. Sayid blows her off and tells the tramp to go talk to Miles. So, she does. Miles takes a break from Solitaire, ironic since he was the only Lostie left at the Temple right now, at least the only sane one, and delivers a verbal beating to Kate. So, Sawyer send you packing, huh? I knew that if I followed him, he would keep berating me until I came back. Well, maybe or maybe not. Sawyer had become friends with Miles over the past 3 years, and I doubt Miles would have tried to cozy up to Sawyer on the dock as Sawyer was crying about Juliet’s death and how he didn’t want to wear pants. Kate deserved to be berated. Kate gives Miles a goofy look. Miles uses tact in breaking the news that Claire is back. She’s weird but hot. Rank, rancid, batsh!!t crazy, and desperately in need of hair conditioner, but hot…eh. Sayid takes a break and drinks some water as the MIB rattles the trees nearby and strolls up to him. Hello, Sayid as Sayid plunges the dagger deep into his chest. While this would have probably killed Jacob, MIB is amused. I know that I have speculated weeks ago, during the LA X Part Two episode, about Sayid being risen from the waters as the undead was a sign that he was chosen to fight the Smoke Monster to the death. Sayid is Epic Fail Incarnate. But don’t give me grief for it; some folks were trying to believe that Jacob was reborn as Sayid or something like that. Wrong. That dagger has driven through the heart, and MIB was like the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A mere flesh wound. Hell, not even that. No wound. MIB isn’t sweating, isn’t bleeding, pulls out a dagger completely free of blood, and questions Sayid “Why’d you do that?” Sayid is really bad at making friends today.

MIB has a hole in his shirt, but not his body, making me very confused about his manifestations. What is so damned important that he carries a backpack around? His lunchbox? Coloring books? Mittens? And he manifests clothes. But his clothes can be hurt, but not his body? MIB returns the knife. What are you? This is the first time Sayid has seen “Locke” since the visit in the Dominican Republic as Jeremy Bentham. Again, this should have been common knowledge at this point from information from Richard or the Others who returned to the Temple, but are either not around or decided to keep quiet about the biggest news possible on the island. Yes, I am Evil Incarnate, but my friends call me Eve. The con continues. Dogen sent you to kill me because he knew that I would kill you. MIB guesses correctly that Dogen tried to kill Sayid previously. MIB also correctly figures out that one should never get involved in a land war in Asia. Sayid is asked to deliver a message. The second message of the day for MIB? That makes me and MIB the only two things on earth with no clue how to text someone. It would mean a lot more coming from you. Why exactly? Because Sayid is an uncrossed off candidate? MIB: what if I told you that you could have anything you wanted? What if I said you could have anything in the entire world? A classic deal with the devil scenario, and I don’t think Sayid is a good enough fiddle player to get his soul back. The only thing Sayid ever wanted died in his arms, which would be Nadia, Shannon, Elsa, and possibly the chicken. S: I’ll never see it again. MIB: what if you could? I’m thinking MIB is promising a magic box type of thing with the other timeline. He may know that 2004 LAX is happening. But he did say earlier that he does what he says. Omer is recovering. Sayid is gluing a vase back together, which I mention because it was so odd that Locke and Helen had so many vases in their home in the episode The Substitute. Sayid offers money to help, but Nadia is adamant that Omer brought this to himself and that he should suffer the consequences. Yikes. That’s a bit cold hearted. N: Why didn’t you want to be with me? Nadia strikes me as a person that would bring a date to Omer’s funeral. She and Kate should hang out. Sayid explains that he is trying to get past the horrible things he has done, he can’t be with her, he doesn’t deserve her. Sayid needs to be with Beatrix Kiddo. Sayid’s destiny is to be miserable in every life, in every loop. Sayid strolls back in through the Temple’s back door entrance, a certifiable revolving door at this point. The message is exactly what MIB told Ilana’s buddy Bram and the other dopes in the statue foot. Jacob is dead, and none of you have to stay any longer. You’re free. The MIB is leaving the island forever. Come with him or die. Decide by sundown. Kate chases down Lispy Lennon so that she can find Claire. Kate is given two minutes. Claire is singing a lullaby, “Catch a Falling Star”. When Claire was looking to give up her baby for adoption in Australia, and before her pen stopped working and she got cold feet and ran out of the room, she has asked the prospective adopting couple to sing a lullaby to the baby. Yes, it was called “Catch a Falling Star” and it was a lullaby that Claire’s father sang to her when she was very young. The way Claire was signing it was very creepy and detached from the living world. I loved it. While this was a bit of a reverse Silence of the Lambs, where the maniac is in the hole and the person in peril is standing outside it, Kate is fully prepared to taunt Claire. Watch it again. Doesn’t it seem like taunting? Even if it’s not on purpose. Claire seems happy to see Kate. At first. But as Kate starts to correct Claire, that the Others don’t have Aaron, I took him, I raised him, Claire’s expression changes from mindless happiness to hellfire and fury. I actually think Claire did a very nice job in this scene; I’ve been frustrated with her character the first 4 years of the show, but she is doing a pretty decent job this year. She glowers at Kate. Kate is so self absorbed that she fails to notice the clearly obvious change in Claire’s facial features. Kate needs glasses. Kate is here to rescue Claire. I’m not the one that needs to be rescued, Kate. YES!!!! Claire, just make sure it is drawn out and above all else, painful death. Kill her. Bury her alive. He’s coming, and they can’t stop him. Cool beans.

Panic at the disco, um, temple. Lennon thinks that Sayid is like a real drag, man. Cindy takes some initiative, decides to leave, and takes Zack and Emma with her. Those kids have missed a lot of television time over the years. Sayid wants to return the dagger back to the Temple utensil drawer. Sayid has always appreciated fine silverware, including knives in dishwashers in hotel rooms which can be used to turn an attacker into hors d’oeuvres. Hey, it’s Omar telling Sayid to take a ride. Not to be confused with Omer. Next week, we will meet Kite, Harley, Jock, Luck, Moles, Gin, Bun, and Frankkkkkkis. Omar was Keamy’s #2 on the freighter, his minion, his weasely right hand man. They enter the restaurant that Naomi tested Miles’ ability to read dead people’s thoughts before hiring him for Widmore to join the Freighties. The writers are starting to bring Widmore back into the story. Keamy asks, you want some eggs? Ah, Keamy, playing a completely over the top thug role. Took me a while to place it, but his mannerisms and cadence was very reminiscent of Vincent D’Onofrio from Law & Order: Criminal Intent. I make some good eggs. Completely over the top ganster. I loved the caricature. Hell, he even shakes Sayid’s hand. He expresses sympathy for the mysterious mugging, pokes Sayid about caring about his brother’s family, and eats eggs. Which I suppose is a contrast to Sayid and killing the chicken many years ago. Hey, somebody has got to pay that money. Never mind that not a single person is pointing a gun at Sayid the whole conversation. Sayid notices the idiots around him and gets commando, killing a few guys, and holding a gun on Keamy. Keamy pleads for his life, tries to broker a deal, but Sayid kills him anyway. Sayid is completely unable to stop from pulling the trigger. He is the same person no matter what choices he makes, and is by all appearances a constant, not a variable. Oh, almost forgot. Oh my God, they’ve killed Keamy!!! Again. Also, take note that Keamy is wearing a flashy watch, a watch that some Korean gentleman we know was taking to Los Angeles to deliver to an associate of Mr Paik’s. Sayid discovers Jin in a walk in fridge. Why is Jin tied up? Well, to speculate, Jin had trouble getting cash through customs at the airport. If they kept the cash at the airport, maybe Keamy was expecting a watch and the cash, maybe to receive for Widmore. But Jin shows up with no cash. Knucklehead Keamy figures Jin stole it, Jin can’t explain in English what happened, and Jin is tied up. Eh, shot in the dark.

Dogen sees Sayid approaching him at the spring, and knows that all is lost. Sayid confesses he started to listen to MIB after failing in his mission. Instead of Dogen explaining to Sayid why he has been trying to kill him and has been having as much luck as Cato in the Pink Panther movies, the real ones, not that garbage Steve Martin has been peddling, Dogen explains that he was a successful banker, went out to celebrate a promotion with associates, can’t hold his liquor, is a terrible driver, and drove his kid into an accident. How incredibly irresponsible. What a monster. My father would never, never, never pick me up from baseball. And I was grateful. In fact, sports were banned in my house. Are you kidding? Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to watch parents attend your games, make noise, get into fist fights, or cheer for you. Makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Kids hate that. Let him breathe. In this case, literally. But I thank God every day that my father couldn’t care less if I played baseball, practiced ballet, went to bullfights on acid, killed cats or homeless people. Parents, save your kids lives. Ignore them. Dogen? More like Drinking. Jacob offered Dogen a deal, your kid lives, but you never see him again. That’s hell of a deal, actually. Many parents would do that in a heart beat. Sh!!t, get away from that teenager, and go live on a tropical island. Hell, I’d drive my kid into a wall if I got to retire early. Has anyone stopped to consider that Dogen may have been driving a Toyota, and it wasn’t the drinking, but a sh!!ty malfunctioning car? Sounds like Dogen doesn’t like the deal he made. Not to mention that some people might call Jacob a monster to make Dogen accept that kind of dead. But it’s all about that diva Jacob. Little Mr Attention Wh0re. Sure, it was a choice. I bet Jacob called “No Take Backsies” just to really screw Dogen. I’m just checking, was this a Dogen centric episode, because it feels like I’ve typed his name a thousand times today. Sayid: Jacob drives a hard bargain. Yes, he does. MIB offered Sayid a similar offer, most likely Nadia related, but in some alternative timeline, I bet Sayid asked for a Dr Pepper. It’s sundown. Dogen asks Sayid if he will stay or will he go now? Sayid says that while he enjoys the wonderful music of The Clash too, he’d rather take a swim first. Sayid grabs Dogen, and jumps about 20 feet straight over the steps into the pool. Sayid has super strength. Keamy would be very jealous of the way Sayid expertly poaches Dogen in the water. The baseball floats to the surface of the water. I watched Caddyshack again last night. Best movie ever. Love the scene of the floating doodie in the pool. Lennon arrives and lisps out a very unheartfelt “what did you do, he was the only thing keeping it out”. The monster rattling and hooing in the distance, while Sayid gives a quick “I know” and mercifully slashes Lennon’s throat. Will MIB claim Dogen and Lennon? Probably not, as they are not on the list. You have to wonder what Lennon was thinking, turning his back on Sayid. When I discover an armed murderer in a room with many escape tunnels, I would not necessarily trap myself and turn my back on him. I’m not saying this is stupid, but….OK, I am saying this is stupid. And I would hate to see the wound on Lennon’s neck if he turns into a zombie. Who would want to start at that mess all day? The monster attacks the Temple. The third time I watched this episode and the colossal destruction of the Temple and the Other Others, I could not get the music of the Benny Hill show during chase scenes out of my head. Quick, somebody slap the bald head of Locke. Hilarious action. Of course, in retrospect, maybe building some pylons around the Temple would have been prudent. Just saying. Miles hides behind a door, which is promptly broken down by Ilana. Where is Shephard, Reyes, Ford? Miles: I’m the only one left. Let’s pause here. Ilana sure seems to know a lot. The rules of MIB, where Jacob was, who the candidates are, her way around the Temple. Who is she exactly, other than being the only person on Jacob’s side at this point and gives off an air of ancient. And what the hell did Miles mean by only one left. Panic? Consider that Miles knew that in the Temple right now where Sayid, Claire, and Kate. He just saw Kate 30 seconds ago? He knows that Sayid is undead, but he didn’t say that about Claire. He called her weird and hot. Ben goes after Sayid in the pool room since he has missed playing 8 Ball since leaving the Barracks. Kate finds Claire Down in a Hole, Alice in Chains style. What’s with all the music references this week? Claire tells Kate she would be safer in the hole, which Kate agrees with when the Smoke Monster literally roars past in huge torrent of destruction and power. Claire looks on in admiration. Ben: Sayid, there is still time. Sayid puts a really dopey grin on his face and says “Not for me” Sayid is now on the dark side and talks in short bursts and platitudes. Welcome to Congress, son. Ben actually backed out of the room. Miles asks Sun about the whereabouts of Jin. Sun: Jin is alive? Thank you Sun, for your wonderful contributions to the show, but you’ve basically been saying the same one line of dialogue in every focking episode since the marina scene in Season 5. You are worthless. Completely worthless. The story line stinks. Sun and Jin reunion. STINKS. I don’t care about their stupid relationship. At least when Sun was ruining Jin’s life, she was semi-interesting. Every. Focking. Time. Where’s Jin? Where’s Jin? Do you know where Jin is? Have you seen Jin? Do you know where Jin might be? I don’t hear Jin saying Where is Sun? every show. He might have said it twice. And he didn’t mean it. Enough already. Meanwhile, Frank still hasn’t buttoned up his shirt. Holy hell on a pogostick. Did Frank make a demand in his contract that his chest hair must be exposed at all times? If he take a dip in the spring, he’ll clog up the drain and the Temple will flood. Jumping Jehosophat. Somebody get ‘Ole Rumplestiltskin Chest some Nair. Ilana finds a secret passage, so she, Frank, Miles and Sun are together. As we survey the damage of the purged Temple, I find it ironic that the island’s “security system” is it’s biggest destroyer. Claire’s singing of the lullaby is the perfect background as the characters move in a slow motion style we have not seen much of lately. MIB’s Others are outside. MIB tells a complete story with his facial expressions. Really, look at the guys face during this time of no dialogue. Everybody else had one sleepy expression. MIB communicates his approval to Sayid and Claire, is caught off guard by Kate’s presence, considers what it means, and then does a what the hell and leads his crew out into the jungle. They have to collect Jin and Sawyer. They have to deal with the Ajira people on the Hydra island at some point. Another purge.

Just from vague recollections, this series is so incredibly reminiscent of the Stephen King book The Stand. I know, this isn’t an original thought. That’s OK. I’m not claiming to be original. However, I might have to go review some summaries of that book this week to see the comparisons. I read it maybe 15 years ago. Until next week. Keep your cats indoors.