6.16 What They Died For

Random thoughts. This is a joke, right? “What they died for?”. Oh, I can think of a better title. How about “Why Does Every Remaining Candidate Suck?” or maybe “Why I’m Glad They’re Dead” or “Is Tricia Tanaka Still Dead?” or “Fee Fi Foe Fum, Why Is Jack So Dumb?”. Another murky, meandering, episode with a couple moments of brilliance. Another excuse to jam 30 minutes of commercials into every episode. And to charge a million dollars an ad for the finale. And to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs. Or some other cliché. The journey is near the end. But I have a deepseated fear that the finale will clearly show how pointless Season 6 really was. But this episode had a pulse hear and there, and wasn’t as breathtakingly awful as some of the Season 6 episodes have been. It was yet another set up episode, but by last count we’ve had 37 of them this season, all to set up what I assumed to have been a wildly epic finale, back when my obsession with this show was borderline unhealthy. Now, it’s merely an addiction, like alcohol is for me, being an unfunny, sanctimonious, zero insight assh0le is for John Stewart, and losing is for Cleveland sports teams. I’d like to apologize to myself, as that was uncalled for. So is Betty White’s stupid career resurgence. Hey, lady, crawl into a casket and leave me alone already. I’m tired of your dusty vagina on my screen every day. And another thing, stop with the Sarah McLaughlin animal shelter commercials. You know what I feel when I see a dog or a cat that is dying? That somebody didn’t punch it in the face enough times. I’d like to put out my cigarette in it’s good eye. Oh, I do feel some modicum of joy now and then. Sun is gone. Jacob is gone. Two of the 4 Horseman of the Horrible Characters Apocalypse. Sadly, when I see Jack talking, I just see Ike from South Park, with his skull kind of bobbing up and down on top of this jaw, completely ridiculous. Jack is tragic, in a Roger Ebert face sort of way. And, then there is sassy Kate, challenging Jacob, demanding answers. Kate is a festering mouth sore. She ruins everything. I lost my train of thought. We need to use Betty White’s head as a mop to clean up the Gulf of Mexico.

The Previously On LOST opening featured the death of Jin and Sun, and I have to admit, it’s every bit as funny as the first time it aired. I guess they got PWNED, or in this case, KWNED. There, a joke for you youngsters out there. Remember kids, littering makes you look cool, losing your virginity is an exercise of unsatisfying disappointment, and never, never, never vote. Jack wakes up in what looks like the apartment he lived in back in Season 5, the one where Kate showed up to have pity sex with Jack as she was in tears after giving Aaron back to his rightful owner. Jack has multiple cuts on his neck, like we saw in the first episode of this season as Jack looked into the plane’s bathroom mirror. We get it, it’s another mirror. But more significantly, I hope to all things holy that MIB has slashed Jack’s neck in the other timeline and Jack is bleeding to death. Let see you fix yourself, doc. Or maybe Jack hasn’t figured out how to shave. Or maybe David is trying to kill his father in his sleep. Speaking of Jack’s son, the smug sissy David made breakfast like any 4 year old would for his parents on their birthday. Cereal. I can’t think of a worse thing to eat for breakfast other than crushed glass, a handful of gunk from the bottom of your garbage disposal, or Tang. The best breakfast, of course, comes from a liquor bottle. Don’t mind if I do. Ahhhhhhhhh, burns. I’m disappointed that David couldn’t even attempt to make some burnt toast or maybe scramble up some eggs that have laid around to long and the contents have beaks and feet. That’s not Tabasco on top of over easy. The big night on the town for the dapper DumbDumbs is going to some concert, one that will be attended by the mysteriously missing Jack’s ex-wife. Sigh. It’s going to Juliet, isn’t it? For the love of God, stop smiling at each other. It’s morning. And you, David, are a teenager. Show some respect and act your age. Scowl at Jack, throw a fit, and storm out of the house, turn around, ask for lunch money, then go back to storming out of the house. Claire is indeed living there, and comes out to have some cereal and very awkward conversation. Claire looks like she is about to give birth to a grand piano. A phone call to Jack informs him that his father’s coffin has been found, the cargo located. Which is Jim Fine Dandy, other than it’s Desmond making the call, brazenly not trying to hide his accent. I need to wonder, how does Desmond know that Jack is missing cargo, if Jack only told Locke about it, back at the airport? Back on LOST island, and yes, after the sub sank, they managed to swim to LOST island, Jack is stitching up Kate, a reversal of the Pilot episode, when Kate stitched up Jack. The bullet went all the way through, but we must be careful for the wound to not get infected. Personally, I’m rooting for maggots to start squirming in the hole next episode. I hope that when you just read that last sentence, you had a big mouthful of cereal. Stupid cereal. Yeah, I get the reference. The magical glowing cave, most likely a hideout for a Leprechauns’ pot of gold. And this week, they are chomping away on Lucky Charms. Ooooo, there’s some clever writing. Kate reminisces about Sun and Jin and how they left a baby behind. Way to go, lunkhead. Sayid died. Frank died. But all you care about is making plans to get off the island and steal another baby. Hey, don’t you even think about stealing Skull Baby while poor Claire is abandoned yet again, this time completely by herself on Hydra island. And does anybody really care that Jin never saw Ji Yeon. Sawyer never saw Clementine. Where do you draw the line? Kate has the focus and long term memory of a finch. Kate: Locke did this, we have to kill him. Jack: I know. Everybody else on the planet: How are you fockheads going to do that? How do you kill a homicidal puff of smoke? With positive thoughts? Putting yourselves on a pedestal, believing that somehow you are better than him? MIB is the hero of this show. If I ever kidnap any children, I hope they grow up just like MIB. I wouldn’t trust Jack and Kate to figure out how to make a cheese sandwich if I handed them a loaf of sliced bread and cheese.

Random debris, including life vests, is washing up on shore. Something that Frank and Jin probably could have used, who are debris right about now as well. As Sawyer is watching the tide, Kate wanders up along side and puts her head on his shoulder. Well, that made me sick to my stomach. Sure, earlier that same Tuesday morning I started severely vomiting as I brushed my teeth, partly because I was using the rather obscure Colgate Minty Fresh Dumpster Juice flavor, which was followed by getting the shakes and sweats and going to work to sit through 10 hours worth of hallucinations in meetings. I’m not saying I was seeing things, but the Energized Bunny was thumping on my head with a mallet and I stabbed a director in his ear with a pencil. Which is ridiculous. Who uses pencils nowadays? Jack declares that Sayid told them that Desmond was at the bottom of a well and that they will need him. Not that they want to rescue their buddy and look out for his well being. That they need him. Yeah, this show is about characters and not objectifying them as game pieces. Riiiiiiiiiight. Desmond is sitting, idling in a school parking lot, and I nearly shat my pants in joy that he was going to run over Locke again. How hilarious that would have been. Well, maybe I exaggerated a bit. I didn’t nearly sh!t my pants. I actually did sh!t my pants. And it was lovely. Locke is wearing a purple checkered shirt. There is that color again. Look, I’m not crazy, but how many people do you see in your life that wear purple that aren’t mongoloid dinosaurs or hosts of day time talk shows. I haven’t worn a single thing purple in at least 20 years. I’m a simple man. All my T-shirts are black, my pants are black, my sneakers are black, and my socks are dark gray. See? I’m not so predictable. Ben interrupts Desmond’s zen like trance of concentration with a haughty “Oh, no you don’t” tone that would make Rupaul blush. Alas, Desmond is not here to hurt Locke, which dawned on Ben after a number of knuckle sandwiches to the face. Ben flashes back to when Desmond was punching him in the face on the dock in Season 5 when Ben shot Desmond and tried to kill Penny. Desmond drives off without anybody noticing or caring that Ben was attacked in the wide open. Ben, Miles and Richard are tromping through the jungle. Ben tries to give a lecture about the Barracks to Miles, who lived at the Barracks 30 years ago. Miles get weird, um, gets weirder for a moment, going wonky as he communicates with a dead person. Richard: it’s Alex, I buried her after you left. I bet Richard cupped her breasts too, the creep. This was an obvious plot device to remind the viewer of Ben’s affection for the young child he stole from her mother many years ago. Alex took a bullet to the head by Keamy when Ben didn’t want to come outside and play. Ben shows off his secret room in his old house, one that about 50 people know about. Ben tries out a brand new philosophy. This is where I went to summon the monster, before I realized it was summoning me. Yeah, monster, drugs, cigarettes, Girl Scout cookies. It’s all the same. Personally, I like the onld “Do unto others before they do it to you” and “Never assume, because you only make an ass out of yourself” or “Rock, paper, scissors”. A group decision is made to grab all the C4 so that they can blow the plane to Hell, a location otherwise known as Whole Foods. Hey, there’s Zoe poking around on the kitchen floor, like a rat looking for a scrap of cheese. Charles appears and asks Ben if he can come in. Which is a tad more courteous then Ben showing up in your bedroom in the middle of the night.

Charles decides to pour himself a glass of water. Considering that I don’t think anyone has used the sink for years, I would have recommended running the water a bit instead of settling for a mouthful of cloudy sludge. Charles turns to Ben and says “this swallow of water is my crowning achievement and one swallow is worth more than you would make in a month”. Some other stuff about never being allowed to marry his daughter. Zoe is sent to grab the equipment and sink the canoe. I bet Charles wants to assemble a treadmill. Widmore lectures anybody that will listen that he is their last chance of survival. He claims to have wired the plane, which was not exactly something we needed answered because we had figured that one out a few episodes ago. I’d rather he have mentioned the purge on Hydra island. Widmore boasts that he is always 3 steps ahead of Ben, except for when Ben had him banished from the island and Ben had Sayid kill all of his people and Ben beat him back to the island and Ben found Penny first. Other than that, Charles rules. Ben is curious how Charles came back. CW: Jacob visited me after your people destroyed my freighter, showed me the error of my ways, told me everything for this exact purpose…and before we hear something really super important, we are interrupted by Zoe. MIB is coming. Charles sh!!ts his pants, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Well, all that bravado disappeared. All the information, all the planning, all the careful detail has boiled down to this shining moment for a Charles Widmore. The pressure is on, you’ve worked your whole life for this one moment of glory. CW: we need to hide. Oooooh. Wrong answer. Ben is being looked after in the nurse’s office at his school. It’s Dr Linus, actually, he corrects the nurse. What an insufferable pr!ck. Nice to have Ben back even for a brief moment. Ben looks into a mirror. Yeah, yeah, another mirror. I hate mirrors now. How has LOST changed my life? No, it’s about an appreciation for serial television programming. I now hate mirrors, tomatoes, and surgeons with the last name of Shepherd. I listed those items in order of intelligence. Locke swings by. Ben explains that he approached the man that ran down Locke, instead of calling the police or getting help, because it’s a good idea for a history teacher with the physique of a mollusk to attempt to apprehend on foot a dangerous criminal with a car. Ben saw something, he didn’t want to hurt you, but you needed to let go, and Ben believed him. More significantly, Ben is walking around with bruises and cuts on his face again, which to him is as comfortable as sitting on a pillow when you have ‘roids. Miles the cop is reminding Sawyer of a benefit as his father’s museum. See, combine that with the concert that David was talking about and the concert Desmond mentions later, it’s hard not to see where this is going next episode. Most of the flashsideways characters are going to meet at the concert at the museum. Don’t forget that Daniel is a musician, so he will bring along his group too. It’s all going to intersect, other than the people in the hospital like Sun and Jin. Desmond turns himself in to the cops, specifically Miles and Sawyer. Sawyer and Desmond are wearing purple shirts. Desmond is placed in the same cell as Sayid, next to Kate’s cell. Well, we can see Desmond’s strategy, but it is odd that he was privy to this information of where to find them right this moment. As Jack and his sad sack group goes to look for Desmond’s well, Sawyer is wrestling with the logic of the bomb detonating on the submarine. Jack tries to bullsh!t Sawyer: I’ve been wrong before. OK, I could spent some time pointing out that Jack is nearly always wrong, but I’d rather just note that he is not just like Jacob, because Jack does know how to lie. S: I killed them. Jack: No, he killed them. Well, Jack is wrong about 5 seconds after saying he can be wrong. Yes, Sawyer killed those people, and that is why Sawyer is the new Hapless Jack. He now has to deal with the guilt of people dying because he was a man of action and not of faith, and did something stupid. Hurley sees young Jacob, who promptly demands the ashes that Hurley picked up in a small sack right after Ilana exploded. The young punk runs off, with Hurley lumbering behind. Hurley runs up to a burning fire, and the grown up Jacob is back. Young Jacob tossed the ashes in the fire, once the ashes burn out, we will never see any Jacob again. Sigh. Finally, some good news. Hurley needs to go find his friends and bring them here, because we are very close to the end and there might be S’mores afterwards.

MIB arrives on LOST island, with Claire nowhere on board the canoe. Well, at least Claire will be able to sustain herself with fish biscuits in the polar bear cages, if she can figure out how they work. MIB notes with amusement the equipment in the canoe that Charles brought over and left behind. Ben doesn’t want to hide like Charles and Zoe plan to. Miles’ plan is to run through the jungle haphazardly, but does take a walkie with him. Will Miles’ simply be a loose end not tied up, or will he be summoned into a trap next week. Will we ever see another Other before the finale. Richard decides that he and MIB are old pals, and they should talk it out. After all, MIB just wants to leave the island with Richard. It’s wonderful how in this moment of panic, 4 separate plans were hatched and executed. Richard goes for a stroll through the Barracks, we hear the smoke noise, Richard is grabbed by the neck, and thrown through the air. It’s unfortunate that we cannot with certainty confirm his death, but based on Ben’s slumped shoulders, I wouldn’t bet against it. I guess MIB was really pissed when Richard changed his mind of joining him after Isabella talked to him. MIB in human form joins Ben on a porch, turning down an offer of a lemonade. What kind of monster is this, turning down a cool beverage after building up a thirst from killing people? I suppose MIB might be diabetic. MIB wants Ben to kill some people for him. Considering how few people remain alive on the island, Ben probably has a good idea of whom he has to kill. But the good news is that Ben is really, really good at killing. In exchange, Ben can have the island all to himself. This is the second time MIB has offered this deal to Ben, the first being when Ben was digging his own grave at gunpoint a few episodes ago. Back then, Ben was confused and looking for a place he belonged, which was with Ilana and Jacob’s team, a really sad situation because it made Ben a whimpering sissy. Now, Ben is given a real chance at redemption, a chance to kill for control of the island, and like a man he accepts. Good for Ben. He is one of the good guys again. I can’t wait until he kills Zac and Emma. Ben: Charles Widmore is hiding in my closet. Nice. Ben is back. It’s like seeing a few minutes of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy episode. Although, who expected Charles would be coming out of a closet. He has kids, afterall. Alex, wearing a purple checkered shirt, sees the injured Ben, calls him the nicest guy ever, and invites him home for dinner. She better hope Keamy won’t be hiding outside her house in the bushes, because then we will see just how Ben is the nicest guy ever. Danielle is Alex’s mother, as was established in the Ben episode many months ago when Alex’s last name was revealed to be Rousseau. Danielle insists Ben come over even if they have to “kidnap” him. What a knee slapper. Danielle looked pretty good; then again, after 16 years in the jungle without a shower, I suppose she would have some bounce in her hair in this timeline. As they are doing the dishes, Ben decides to inappropriately ask about Alex’s father. Danielle explains that he died with Alex was two and she had to shoot him when his gun jammed after escaping the monster. Or something like that. Danielle believes Ben is a father figure to Alex. Ben tears up and nearly leans over to kiss Danielle. This is threatening to become a happy ending for these characters, and that just makes me furious. Back on the island, Ben is hell bent on revenge. The closet door swings open. Ben: Sorry, Charles. Well, what did Charles Widmore expect? His sworn enemy just gave up his hiding spot in about 5 seconds. For such a powerful man, Charles sure is a dummy. So, how did that “war is going to the island” thing work out for you Charles? Hmmm? No fences, no pretenses. I’m Zoe…and her throat gets slashed. Well, that was a quick introduction. MIB: Well, you told her not to talk to me, so that made her pointless. No, her character made Zoe pointless. Zoe had less personality than Skull Baby. So, that takes care of all the new characters introduced in Season 6, and they all sucked ass. MIB wants answers, and if he doesn’t get them, his first act off the island will be to kill Penny. Well, I was rooting for Ben to shoot Penny back in Season 5. so I’m perfectly fine with this plan. MIB promises not to kill her if Charles talks. I suppose this is one of the rules. MIB has to keep his promises. I certainly think he would do it regardless, as he is a man of integrity. Unlike Jacob. Charles brought Desmond to the island as a means of last resort. Charles doesn’t want to finish blabbing until Ben leaves. Another plot device to keep suspense until the finale, as we are to assume that Charles will not tell the whole truth to MIB and he doesn’t want Ben to hear what he is saying because he might ruin the plan. So Charles starts to whisper to MIB. Ben shoots Charles. Ben: he doesn’t get to save his daughter. One of the best lines in LOST history. Ben with a simple yet powerful act and punctuates it with a great tagline. MIB is not only not pissed, but he is impressed with Ben’s unpredictability and ability to amaze him. MIB thinks Charles told him all that he needed to know and no harm done. Fatal flaw right there. Sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads. Ben is feeling the blood lust and asks about killing more people. Ben is the new Sayid, killing people for MIB. Interesting how so many characters can flip flop roles. Hurley brings Jack, Kate, and Sawyer to Jacob, and is no longer needed to translate, which certainly diminishes his value. Kate immediately challenges the self proclaimed King of the Island. K: you wrote the names on the wall, is this why they died, died for nothing? Kate accidently stumbles onto the truth. Jacob: sit down, I’ll tell you what they died for and everything you need to know about protecting this island, one of you will have to start doing it. I remember very well how the Oceanic 6 scoffed and sneered at Locke when he was trying to get them to go back. How much they hated the island. Now, they have to protect it. Also, when Jacob says he will explain all they need to know, you know he isn’t going to say much. It’s the nature of the show. I’ll tell you everything, but nothing at all.

Locke visits Jack’s office. They do some perfunctory uncomfortable small talk until Locke gets to the point of his visit. Locke: we were on the same plane, I was hit by a car and of all the doctors in Los Angeles, you treated me, you want to fix me, the man that ran me down had a message to help me to let go which is what you said, what if all of this is happening for a reason. This is very similar to what Locke has told Jack on the island over the first few seasons. Locke is the old Locke, a man of faith. Jack counters with “you are mistaking coincidence for fate”. Jack is the man of science. Again. Round and round we go. However, Jack has absolutely noticed all these people that he has met since the flight that were on the plane, yet denies his own conclusions. Jack is a stubborn old tomato. Locke now wants the operation from our favorite brain damaged surgeon. Around the campfire, Jacob: I don’t know where to start. Just focking kill me already. We’ve been waiting for important revelations all season, for 6 seasons, and we get “I don’t know where to start.” Start ANYWHERE for fock’s sake. Tick, tock, tick, tock. It’s the end of the show. I bit my arm and I’m bleeding. Jacob: I brought you here because I made a mistake, and because of that there is a very good chance that every one of you and everybody you’ve ever cared about is going to die. Perfect. That is the whole theme to LOST. I’m not kidding. The perfect explanation. I made a mistake and you are all going to pay for it. Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Jacob Sucks Moment of All Tiime. Sure, he told the truth. But he is responsible for a death toll approaching Joseph Stalin numbers. Bodies are piled up all around the island. Oops, my fault, I’m just a silly goose. Jacob: you call him the monster, I’m responsible, I made him that way, he’s been trying to kill me, then someone would have to replace me, that’s why I brought you here. Sawyer: why do I have to be punished for your mistake? Perfect question. I’ve been asking it for months now. And I’m curious as to Jacob’s response. Oh, that’s right. We don’t get one. He simply deflects and shifts blame. Sawyer: I was doing just fine. Jacob: I didn’t pluck you out of a happy existence, you were all flawed, you were like me, all alone, you needed this place as much as I needed you. BULLSH!T!!!! You cannot say all the candidates were struggling. Of course I’ve pointed out how reprehensible the main characters are on the show. #58 Burke. Sister is pregnant. She is breaking ground on fertility experiments. She gets yanked out of her happy life to be held prisoner on an island and die after a couple of years. You simply can’t throw a blanket over all the candidates. What did the members of Rousseau’s team do wrong that they were brought here and killed so quickly? Nice job in answering Sawyer’s question, d!ck. Well, you people are just as bad as me. Where is the free will, the choice that this confused show has been pushing all season? These people had no choice in coming to the island. MIB was right about Jacob manipulating and destroying lives. And even when Jacob has a chance to completely come clean, he still insists on being defensive. It’s my fault, but you people are bad too. What kind of crap is that? Kate: why did you cross out my name? Jacob: you became a mother. WHAT? Wrong. She stole a child. She did not become a mother. Stop trying to build sympathy for the worst character on this show. Be honest. Kate ruins everything. Jacob: it’s just a line of chalk in a cave, the job is yours if you want it. How absolutely enraging. You build up the names and the cave from 12 episodes ago, and then it doesn’t mean anything. 4,8,15,16,23,42, apparently means nothing. The candidates mean nothing. This is a volunteer army. Then why bring Ilana to the island to protect the 6 candidates not crossed off? Why? Ben is a name on the wall. #117. Ilana was ready to kill him. Ben was digging his grave. Why would Ilana kill somebody that might become protector of the island? In fact, Ben, Claire, Miles, Kate are all crossed off names. They are suddenly all candidates again? Jacob is breaking his own rules. You can’t write a TV show and decide the parameters you set up do not matter anymore. You have to follow your own rules, or come up with a damn good reason why they don’t apply anymore. It’s just chalk doesn’t cut the mustard. Infuriating. Absolutely infuriating. Jack: what is the job? It’s called “Workman” where you get to put on coveralls and keep out of the way of the smart people. Jacob: there is a light in the center of the island, don’t let it go out. See, custodian. You have to keep an eye out for a lightbulb. Even though the light went out when you killed your brother. But I guess somebody flipped a light switch, and the light came back on again. Jacob: protect the light from MIB, I couldn’t do it. Jack: and kill MIB if possible? Jacob: I hope so, he will try to kill you. Great. We are witnessing a loser passing the loser baton to a Loser McLoseAlot. Hurley: how do we pick? Jacob: I want you to have choice, what I didn’t have, or this will end badly. Hurley speaks up and chooses a #6 value meal with an orange drink. Jack: I’ll do it, this is why I’m here, what I’m supposed to do. And the last time Jack said this, they were ready to blow up the island.

Jacob leads Jack to the cave. Sawyer: I thought that he had a God Complex before….leaving unfinished yet another truth bomb. Kate plays the role of female radio host perfectly, Oh, James. Now cut that out. Stop having fun and making jokes. This is something serious. Think of the children. Kate ruins EVERYTHING. Hurley is just relieved that he wasn’t the guy chosen. Reality is that Jack jumped on the opportunity without talking it over with his friends. Jack was simply the fastest to ring in the buzzer on Jeopardy, not that he could ever answer a single question in Jeopardy, in such categories as “name your favorite color, there is no wrong answer”, “foods that taste like salt, hint, hint”, and “what is my name, look at your name tag, dummy”. So, after a couple of thousand years, your replacement said “Bingo” first. Jacob tells Jack that the cave is near where he woke up on the island after the Oceanic 815 crash. Jack is carrying a cup around with him, which is odd since all I’ve ever seen the Losties use for water is water bottles. But he conveniently has a cup. Jacob says a prayer, much like Mother did last episode, even though Jacob was nowhere near close enough to hear what she was saying. Jacob blesses the water that he fills the cup with. Jack: how long do I do the job? Jacob: as long as you can. The ritual continues as we saw last week, Jack drinks, blah blah blah, Sawyer Kate Hurley are watching. In jail, they are preparing to ship Kate, Sayid, and Desmond to county lock up, because it is common for men and women to be housed in the same prison location. Kate is trying to talk Sawyer into letting her go. Sawyer: nice knowing you. FACE. In the police van, Desmond decides it’s time to leave. Even though Kate and Sayid think he is crazy, Desmond manages to get them to agree to do him favor in exchange for their freedom. Ana-Lucia is driving by herself which is very odd considering she is transporting a couple of murderers and an attempted murderer. She releases the prisoners in exchange for Hurley’s envelope full stinking cash totaling125 grand. I don’t know if you can stuff that many hundreds into a regular manila envelope, but I guess they are trying to establish Ana-Lucia as a crooked cop. Hurley has a purple shirt. Sayid is still wearing purple. Desmond tells Hurley that Ana-Lucia is not ready yet, a recall to Eloise telling Desmond that he was not ready for the memory restoration a couple of episodes ago. Desmond informs everybody that they are going to a concert, and gives Kate a dress. Let me guess, Geronimo Jackson will be the opening band, Drive Shaft the headliner. MIB is in the jungle with Ben. Ben: why bother walking? MIB: I like to feel my feet on the ground, it reminds me that I was human. And makes traveling 17 times slower. I don’t particularly care for an obvious revelation in awkward dialogue, but it is technically an answer of some type for us on why MIB isn’t smoke all the time. Desmond is missing from the well, as he has used a rope to climb out. Jack? Miles? Others? Rapunzel and her golden hair? MIB: Desmond was a failsafe, Jacob’s last resort to keep me from leaving, I will find Desmond, he will help me do one thing I could not do, destroy the island. Ben: um, remember how you promised me the island a couple of hours ago…

It’s fair to say that I’ve been a tad sour on this season as my exasperation level continues to climb for various reasons. Contradictions, bad acting, terrible dialogue, very few important reveals, lack of focus, a season full of setup episodes for one final shot at glory. The finale is tonight. I sincerely hope that it’s razor sharp so that I won’t think of Season 6 as a complete waste of time and a complete besmirching of the legacy of this show.