5.02 The Lie

I’m not going to spend much time dwelling on the first episode writeup. If I re-read it, I will finally be convinced that I am in desperate need of therapy. But I will point out a typo. It was Locke who Richard visited in the foster home during last season, not Ben. But I’m sure you know what I meant. Oddly enough, this episode was more of a narrative tale, with not a lot of room for speculation.

On Penny’s boat, the Oceanic 6 along with Frank and Penny are hatching the outline of the lie of their rescue. Hurley is reluctant to lie. Penny confirms that she can’t keep her father from stopping his plans. Hurley insists that if they all stick together, they can make the world believe that the island disappear. Hurley is outvoted. It must be nice to go through life stupid. Yeah, the island disappeared, and people will believe it. Are you out of your mind? Hurley is chaperoning a comatose Sayid through Los Angeles. His anxiety leads to bad driving and a cop car pulls him over. Hey, it’s the Tailies AnaLucia from Hurley‘s imagination, or maybe an manifestation by the island again. Here’s a thought. Maybe when the smoke monster scans your head, it implants different scenarios inside your head, to be triggered when necessary. So the monster could have implanted Libby into Michael’s head, Charlie and AnaLucia and Dave into Hurley’s head, Christian into Jack’s head, the black horse into Kate’s head, etc. Anyway, I was surprised to see her, after reading the stories of the drunk driving charges and being written out of the show. The key here is that Ana Lucia said “And don’t get arrested. Libby says Hi!!” Now, the Libby line was to distract the audience, but don’t forget the don’t get arrested part. It’s foreshadowing the future, but Hurley completely forgets this advice.

The Lefties are trying to make fire on the island. Sadly, none of them ever watched Survivorman or Man vs. Wild on Discovery. Neil “Frogurt“, a background character who is getting screen time and we find out his name, continues to annoy everybody around him. It that isn’t a recipe for a plot device of an impending death, you’ve forgotten all about Nikki and Paulo already. Juliet is getting some supplies ready, thinking that we can take supplies with us when we move again. Which begs the question, why exactly are Juliet, Sawyer, and Daniel, three people who arrived on the island at three different points in time, moving at the same time to the same time, but Richard isn’t. Is it proximity? Because Locke moved in time too, but we can’t be totally sure he moved to the same exact time as the Lefties, well until the jump at the end of the episode. Also, why isn’t Juliet not moving, along with Richard and apparently the Others. What are the rules for time traveling here exactly? I need answers, dammit. Daniel was gone 2 hours, visiting with Desmond. That is a hell of a long time, which nobody really vociferously questions other than a cursory question from Sawyer. Daniel explains that they can’t use the Zodiac raft to escape and that he has to recalculate a new island bearing in time? How can he? He figured out the bearings the first time, when the freighter arrived, but with the island lost in time, how can you figure out any of that stuff. OK, that one I don’t understand. The Lefties continue to rebuild the camp. Hurley walks into a convenience store, and seems to take a liking to Shih-Tzu pictures on a bright yellow shirt. No, not conspicuous at all. The cashier recognizes him from the lottery and Oceanic 6, but not from a triple homicide which is playing right behind her on the TV. Obviously one of our nation’s finest. Kate pulls into the same gas station as Hurley is leaving, which again reminds us how interconnected all these characters are. She is about to call Jack, but instead gets a call from a friend that is currently in Los Angeles. Yeah, we all know it’s Sun. Ben flushes Jack’s pills down the toilet. Jack needs to go home and pack as he is never coming back to this world. So now we know that the Oceanic 6 going back is forever. I wonder how this affects Sun and her child Ji Yeon. Would she be leaving behind her kid? The kid was conceived on the island, so maybe she needs to go back too. Hurley’s father makes himself a sammich and sits down to watch Nikki on her TV show Expose. Hurley and unconscious Sayid pay a visit. Here is a question. If Hurley supposedly killed 3 people, and the cops are looking for him, and his picture is all over the TV, how do you not have a stakeout at his house? The mind reels.

Hurley is trying to explain to his father he is in danger. Finally, the cops come by. One of those “cops” look a lot like Mr Abaddon from last season, who visited Hurley and Locke in hospitals, put together Naomi’s mission, and is currently on the show Fringe. It sure looked a lot like him, but I could be wrong. Hurley is unable to tell his father who is after him, because he doesn’t even know that. Kate visits Sun in a hotel. Ben arrives in a butcher shop, and takes ticket 342.Get it? 42. He has a conversation with the butcher Jillian. I have something in the van. Is it what I think it is? Ben inquires about Jeffrey and Gabriel checking in yet. Well, looks like Ben has a network of people working for him outside the island world, and why not, since we saw the video shot of Charles Widmore last season, as filmed by one of Ben’s operatives off the island. Everything is moving on schedule. Ben shows a bit of compassion over a joke made about Jack’s pill popping. So, Ben and his people continue to know a lot about the Losties, even off the island. Their researching abilities are quite impressive. However, since Ben is planning this whole elaborate scheme to get the Oceanic 6 back to the island, I suppose he views it as his only chance of going back too, as the island becomes grateful for his service and allows Ben safe passage. Maybe. However, you have to look at the big picture. You get a bunch of people who were supposedly stranded on a dangerous island for the rest of their lives, then a few miraculously escape and return to initially great lives. You are Ben, and now have to convince or manipulate these same people to go back to the island of the smoke monster and invading Widmore mercenaries with the fresh stentch of death permeating the air. Certainly, not an easy task. Things start to go south for the Oceanic 6, and you have to wonder if Ben is pushing these events along. Like the lawyers at Kate’s house. Vincent is still around, as we see him on the beach. That dog must have some stories to tell about the island; if only he could talk. Charlotte complains to Daniel about headaches and loss of memory. Yeah, she will die, and soon. Miles finds a recently deceased boar, showing a particular usefulness. I want to know what thoughts are bouncing around Miles’ head, as this island must be a hell of place to be when you can hear the dead. Neil Frogurt throws a monumental hissy fit “We can’t even start a fire” just as a flaming arrow pierces his chest. Good. Now, run.

The flaming arrow attack continues on the 300 Spartans. People are dying. Which begs the question. Since this seems to be the past, and Lefties are dying in the past, did they exist in the future. Well, whatever happened, happens. But this is certainly a paradox. And how many Lefties are there? There must be 35 to 40 people running, and a bunch of them have died, including at the Barracks, the freighter, regular characters over the last few season, been kidnapped by the Others, shot, drowned, subtract the Oceanic 6, etc. We started with 48, and it’s like all 48 are still there, if not more. This has to be a mistake by the producers. Sawyer is starting to take a liking to Juliet, as he drags her off into the jungle to keep her from being killed. I wonder how far in the past this is? Being that flaming arrows really aren't a modern day weapon. But it sure is effective against unarmed people. The attackers never gave them a chance to surrender. It was just kill, kill, kill. The cops finally show up at Hurley’s house. Hurley’s father is making it clear that he doesn’t trust his son. Kate is with Sun. Sun is showing off her baby pictures. Oddly, she is jet setting around the world, while her kid is at home. I wonder if her lust for revenge is overpowering her maternal instincts. A kind of madness. Lawyers came to see me, and Sun is curious about who they represent. Being that Sun only recently told Widmore about wanting Ben dead, and that the lawyers flushed out Kate before Sun ever called, I have to think at this point that Ben sent the lawyers. Sun and Kate remember back to the freighter, as Kate was going back for Jin, but Jack stopped her and they left Jin behind. “We all would have died instead of just Jin, my husband. I don’t blame you.” Bullsh!t. Sun blames all of them. And the way she said “just Jin”. Sun looked completely like a reptile, trying to hypnotize her prey with unblinking yet intense stare, as she uncoils her self, and ever so slowly wraps herself around her prey, until she gently squeezes the life out of it, a demented boa constrictor. Sun is a monster. I was onto it a while ago, and it is becoming obvious to everybody else now, I suppose. So, how’s Jack? Yeah, because you want to kill Kate and Jack at the same time. And Jin might not be dead after all. During the preview show, the two executive producers said that the freighter explosion caused the apparent death of Jin. Jin is not a confirmed death. Which I mentioned in preview #1. Jack takes Sayid off of Hurleys father’s hands. Stay away from Hurley. Jack calls Ben, and it’s off to the hospital.

Hurley is talking with his mother, and gives her a rundown of all the craziness that is the show LOST. Listening to the story, you realize that you have to be insane to buy into all of this. Yes, all of us viewers are foaming at the mouth. In a touching moment, Hurley’s mother tells him that she doesn’t understand it, but that she believes him. So between the Sayid help and the belief in his story, Hurley’s parents show great patience with their troubled son. And don’t have to. I mean what has Hurley ever done but be a lot of grief and aggravation. Other than the 150 million he gave his parents. But other than that, what else has he done? A lot of people died. Yeah, I get it. And stop your fake crying and get on with the next scene. I’m starting to get annoyed with Hurley. Sigh. Sawyer and Juliet are in the jungle, and see some strangers walk by, and then get captured a moment later. A guy with a name tag Jones yells at Juliet about what they are doing on their island. They seem like soldiers from the early 1900’s.

As Jack is trying to revive Sayid, he wakes up and starts to choke Jack. And I was rooting him on. Yeah, I guess I didn’t have a “Jack Sucks Moment OF The Week“, but he is just a background character with not much to do at this point, and the award has to be earned. Maybe we will start one for another character. I dumped on a bunch of other characters, so I’m running out of rage. Hurley cooks a hot pocket, turns around, and heaves it a spot on the wall a little to the right of Ben. While Hurley looks a bit like CC Sabathia or David Wells, his location is a bit off. No, you’re playing mind games. And ignoring AnaLucia’s words earlier in the episode, turns himself over to the cops. Ben is unhappy, as am I. This is our first Hurley Sucks Moment of the Week. Hurley is now a moron, trying to get our sympathy. You want to see a real mental patient? Watch Fringe and the character Walter. Hurley is a fake crazy guy, someone who doesn’t want to deal with real life, and tends to retreat into an easier solution than making hard decisions; just act crazy. Just like when the deck collapsed and he got all depressed. Instead of dealing with the situation, he ended up comatose and in the nut hut. You just want to grab him by the neck, um, shoulders and shake him like a baby that won’t stop crying on a nonstop 16 hour flight to Asia. Stop it. Just stop it. You faker looking for an easy way out. On the island, Juliet is about to lose an arm. Well, a second arm, because the first arm is non-negotiable since the soldiers mean business. Violence breaks out, and Locke strolls out of the jungle to collect his knife. Well, the Lefties are all together now. We see a hooded figure writing formulas on a chalk board, reminiscent of Daniel at Oxford from last season. She has all sorts of weird equipment and is working on crunching numbers like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, but better. Yes, this is Ms Hawkings from seasons past, the lady who told Desmond that he could not get married to Penny, tried to explain to him that he was special and needed to go to the island, and that the universe has a way of course correcting. Here is a thought. What if Desmond followed Daniel’s instruction, found his mother, assuming it’s Ms Hawkings, and Desmond told her that she needed to warn the past Desmond that he could not marry Penny because Desmond wanted Desmond to arrive at the island. The problem is that Desmond is now 3 years off the island, but I wonder is somehow Ms Hawkings can send Desmond to the past to warn the past Ms Hawkings to warn the future Desmond as per the future Desmond instructions. Got all that? Nope. That’s OK. That’s how this season will be.Ms Hawkings warns Ben he only has 70 hours to return everybody to the island. You know how you hear people that talk about a handful of people run the world. Well, if this isn't proof, I don't know what is. It's possible that Ms Hawkings knows about Desmond before Desmond was even born. The hooded robe she is wearing reminds me of the monk of the monestary that Desmond briefly joined, and if you recall, there was a picture on the desk of the head monk and Ms Hawkings together. For a while, I thought that when the Oceanic 6 would return, the island would re-boot, if you will, and go back to the first show of the series, Jack lying in the jungle, the plane on the beach, people running around. Groundhog Day, a time loop bookmark. But if they return by the end of this season, what happens Season 6? When are they in time? Do they relive their experiences on the island with knowledge of the future? Might be too early to speculate.

I’m tired of typing. That’s it.