Season 6 Preview - A Look Back On Season Two

I cannot emphasize enough the significance that the first episode of Season 6 will debut on Groundhog’s Day, February 2nd. Oh, the Groundhog Day Theory is still alive and kicking. I just need to revisit the theory and flesh it out during the end of the preview articles I’m putting together over the next few weeks.

This season was all over the place. The most common theme that I was seeing was the transitional nature of the characters. Characters undergoing changes from the time they landed on the island. As Locke told Shannon, everybody has a chance to start over on the island. I took a lot of notes, and rather than trying to muddle through chronologically or logically, I just started typing and came up with this disorganized mess. But I can assure you, as always, I will be more bitter than a lime, and more bristly than a cactus. Onward.

Shannon. A character I really didn’t have a lot of sympathy for or cared much about one way or another, so I’m somewhat happy she was killed off but also oddly indifferent. Sure, I’m very hard in my critiques of many of the main female characters on the show. Maybe I don’t date much. Stop analyzing me. I always treat women with respect and kindness. So anyway, I believe I called Shannon a learning disabled chimp last week. The thing is, I never got the impression that she passed any kind of test that the island presented to her. She wasn’t visited by Jacob off island (Season 5), so ultimately she was a minor character. She started off with a snobby, self important attitude. She slept with Boone and used him to scam money a number of times. Yeah, her father died in the same car accident that brought Jack’s future wife to the hospital. Her mother cut off her money. It was a pathetic try by the writers to humanize her after spending most of Season 1 demonizing her; however, she never became sympathetic to me, even in that last ditch effort before she got shot in the gut by Ana-Lucia. She started to see ghost Walt in the jungle, and nobody believed her. Nope, still don’t care about her. I had a better connection to a Dharma can of peaches than Shannon. The odd thing is Walt may or may not have been a Smoke Monster image or he was projecting himself, but there were certainly whispers present. That seems to be an inconsistency with the show. The whispers: the Others, or Jacob or X. What causes them? I have yet to detect a definitive pattern. Why was Walt covered in water when he appeared? Anyway, among the last things Shannon said “They think I’m some kind of joke, I’m worthless.” I couldn’t help but think Get her off my screen already. She is the bathroom break on the show. Oh, it’s a Shannon scene? Time to take a tinkle. I know I won’t miss anything important Sayid tells her that he loves her. Again, the writers made a mistake with this dead end story line. Why talk about Nadia but have Sayid fooling around with Shannon? Just illogical and somewhat cheapens Nadia down the road. Hell, Nadia was a bigger character in Sayid’s one flashback episode than at any other point in the whole show. Here is a tip for everybody. Don’t let Sayid fall in love with you, because you will die. Anyway, she’s dead. Cindy gets captured right before the shooting, and again, the whispers, but seems like the Others were the source of them in this case, or was it Sayid and Shannon’s voices carrying through the jungle. I’m not going to obsess over jungle acoustics. At least not this week.

OK. Let’s talk about the hatch, and the first few episodes that pivoted upon the exploration of this mysterious object which so consumed the characters during the end of Season 1. Sure seems anticlimactic considering how many hatches have been found on the island since the Swan. What, about a dozen so far? Giving credit where credit is due, probably the most significant and in my eyes the most favorable thing that Kate did was agreeing to be lowered into the hatch first. It was as creepy as watching a horror movie, the first time I ever watched the scene. But, of course, this also conjured up the image of Juliet lying at the bottom of this shaft, dying, pounding on a bomb with a rock. Comparing those two activities, well, let’s not waste a bashing of Kate here. She done good. While this episode is in full swing, we see Jack’s marriage fall apart. The woman he saved and married has decided that she is leaving Jack and has been seeing someone else. The writers tried to make Sarah look less of a monster by having Jack kiss the woman in the hospital parking lot. Sorry. Sarah is a horrible person who I really hope is driving quickly down a highway, her brakes fail, and drives right into an abutment with her car immediately bursting into flames. “I’ve been seeing someone else, and he is a famous golfer. Thanks for saving my life, but I gotta scram.” But as this ungrateful barrel of toxic waste oozes out the door and out of Simple Jack’s life, we are introduced to Desmond. And he makes a reference that becomes his slug line. No, not slug as in Sarah. But his catch phrase. See you in another life, brother. So, how about that Groundhog Day? For those that have never seen this excellent comedy, Bill Murray is trapped in Punxsutawney, PA for the Groundhog festival. But the next day, he wakes up and it’s Feb 2nd all over again. He needs to figure out what he has to do so that when he wakes up, it will be Feb 3rd. It takes a long time to get it right. He eventually breaks the cycle. A cycle that Jacob and X are waging a battle over. All it takes is one time to break the cycle. See you in another life, brother. Anyway, clearly it was a fascinating moment of Jack recognizing Desmond in the hatch. We are introduced to the riddle “What did one snowman say to the other snowman?” (Smells like carrots) and the first of many Orientation films with the Dr Chang with more aliases than Ron Mexico. We also learn that Desmond was responsible for the light coming out of the hatch in Season 1 which seemed so significant to Locke. Actually, in a way it was, as it kept Desmond from eating a bullet.

We get an earful of Michael screaming for Walt ad nauseum while floating in the water. Contrast Sawyer removing a bullet from his arm with his fingers, but Michael is sobbing for Walt. Michael is a character that I liked at the beginning of the show, and just loathed by the start of Season 2 and beyond, well before his murderous activities and constantly running off into the jungle willy nilly. They took my son. They took my son. Walt. Whaaaaaaaa. Oh, shut up. Go give up your son in the custody battle again. It’s amazing. Michael arrives at the island an unselfish person. He leaves the island the most selfish character in the cast. He just got more evil as the show went along. And a much worse actor. Just the over the top desperation to get his son was…have you ever stuck your tongue into an electrical outlet. Yeah, me neither. But I’m sure that jolt would be the same feeling as hearing Michael open his mouth in Season 2. Since my britches burning, let’s get right to it, and tell you my big issue with Season 2. How stupid were the Losties in not realizing that it was Michael who freed Ben, shot Ana Lucia, Libby and himself? These are walking, breathing Pez dispensers, with heads empty except for candy. Follow my logic. Nobody knows that AnaLucia untied Ben in his armory cell. Everybody was rushing back thinking that AnaLucia stole Sawyer’s gun to shoot Ben. Initially, Locke was the only one that knew Ben tried to strangle AnaLucia, and he eventually shared that information. So when the gun was taken, everybody thought AnaLucia would enter the armory and shoot Ben as retaliation. But everybody, and I mean everybody including Locke, knew that Ben was tied up. Except for AnaLucia, who untied him, and chose not to shoot him. So, follow the events. Let this sink in. Michael shoots Ana Lucia on the couch, which is facing away from the hatch. Libby is shot all the way across the room. Michael shoots himself in the shoulder after he enters the armory and tells Ben that he is free to go. Then Michael shoots himself in the shoulder. So, the Losties rush back, and see Michael stumbling out of the hatch with his bleeding shoulder. Let’s look at all the logic that was completely overlooked. The blood splatters in the armory, on the wall, could only have come from Michael. Therefore, Michael must have been the first shot, not last like he claimed, by proximity evidence. Who untied Ben? Was it AnaLucia, who logically and assumed by everybody would have been holding the gun? But Michael’s fabricated story would have you believe that she had her back to the armory, sitting down, unaware that the armory was open and Ben was escaping with the gun he stole from her? She was shot in the front of her torso, so basically Ben untied himself, broke out of the armory, stole AnaLucia’s gun, told her to sit still, shoot her, turned to fire and kill Libby, then grabbed Michael, marched him into the armory, passed by him to get on his other side, and then shoot him from the back of the armory where he was originally tied up. Does this seem like the most ridiculous thing in the history of history? And what about the powder burns on Michael’s hands? Which is run of the mill for anytime somebody shoots any gun. Jack didn’t notice them while fixing Michael’s arm? Are you kidding me? Did these assh0les, any of them, ever watch a cop show? Look at the evidence, man. You don’t even have the gumption to question the only witness, who should automatically be considered a suspect. Nobody, NOBODY doubted Michael’s stupid story. Further, the only thing Michael keeps talking about in the hatch is asking if Libby is awake and if she said anything. Again, this is seriously suspicious and selfish behavior. Michael is remorseless and is very concerned about being caught. But, again, nobody stops to think that Michael might be worried about Libby blabbing. Oh, but we are just getting warmed up. Michael talks about tracking the Others to their camp. Oh, but they eat dried fish, live in huts and teepees, old, dirty, mostly women, and are worse off than us. We can take them. Uh, Michael, look at the Losties beach. Are they really worse off than the castaways. Then Michael claims he only ever saw two guns. Two guns? Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Locke just turned over 5 guns to the Others. Have these troglodytes completely turned their brains to the “off” setting. They have your guns. That they took from you days ago. Their heads are full of pudding. Next, Michael says he is making all the decisions on who to bring along to fight these 23 people. He wants to bring 5 people, FIVE?, you need more than five to overrun a Girl scout troop bake sale. Five people including Michael with a badly injured shoulder and Hurley who doesn’t know how to use a gun. They couldn’t capture a lemonade stand with that kind of plan. And Sayid is the only person, ONLY person, who figures out Michael is compromised. And you don’t want Sayid, the “only soldier in camp” to go along? Five vs Twenty Three? Michael is the worst military strategist ever or obviously trying to get them killed. Can it be more obvious. The Iraqi Information Minister was more believable as he claimed that the U.S. army was nowhere near Baghdad as you could see U.S. army tanks a block away rolling through town. I find Jesse Ventura’s conspiracy garbage more believable than Michael. Might as well give Michael a Nobel prize while we are at it. Jumping Jehosophat. This is just sloppy. I lost my mind over this shocking, glaring, blatant jackassery. Sure, Michael shooting the ladies and releasing Ben was a bit stunning, one of the most shocking moments of the series, but that single scene glossed over a whole world of stupidity. This Michael crap….my teeth ache. if I had 103 cavities in my mouth right now, my teeth would hurt less than thinking about these plot developments. I hate…..that’s it. I just hate. Just to let you know, I have returned from a 5 minute break of breathing into a brown paper bag. It took 4 minutes to realize that it was full of garbage. For the sake of all things holy, the cast of Jersey Shore are freaking geniuses as compared to these lunkheads. And for the love of God, somebody punch Snoo-Kate in the face.

Locke’s outside life. I thought it was notable that Helen, John’s girlfriend Peg Bundy, was the one that instilled a sense of taking a leap of faith in John’s psyche. Though it was short lived as it turns out, Locke’s lesson of being a man of faith took root here, when Helen talked him out of hanging around outside of his father’s house. Of course, when Locke is turned down proposing to Helen when Locke is caught helping his father, why oh why doesn’t Locke go back to the hotel room and grab his share for helping, 200 grand. I mean, why not? His father said he was just going to leave it for the maid if John didn’t take it. I can’t quite remember, but I hope Locke went back for it. I get the feeling he was too dumb to do so.

Let’s go back to the Swan hatch, where everybody is taking turns pushing a button that they believe does absolutely nothing. Sayid and Jack explore the hatch, it’s strong magnetic pull, geothermal power source, and the 8-10 foot thick cement walls which Sayid compared to Chernobyl, which also had an incident..

The Tailies story was really the first time we saw a story told from a completely different vantage point, and I liked it. In fact, the Tailies were a group of characters that I for the most part enjoyed. Mr Eko was pure “scary” personified with a gentle speaking voice and evil smile. No matter how much the writers tried to make AnaLucia unsympathetic, it just didn’t work for me. I thought she was a great. Libby was fine, no complaints. From the beginning, I like Bernard. Then his Garrison Keiller crap got annoying after a few seasons and I’d love to repeatedly punch him in the neck. The unexplained plot point that has nagged me for years: why did the Other take 3 people the first night? Clearly, in Season 3, Ben tells Goodwin to make a list and subsequently we find out that the Others will figure out who to take from the lists that Goodwin and Ethan make. Which is what happened during the second abduction of the Tailies. But why the rogue abduction on day one. It makes no sense. I always put forth and Other Other theory of several groups of natives on the island, possibly living underground, but that didn’t materialize. We eventually learned of the caves and the Temple, so I got that part right at least. Still, this is an issue we may never get resolved. The Tailies find the Arrow Hatch, a hatch remarkable for not being useful or having any discernable purpose, 23 survived the crash, 5 make the trek to the Losties camp. AnaLucia kills Goodwin in a memorably tense scene when she calmly tells him that she knows he is an Other, and they end up in a death dance. Goodwin told AnaLucia that Nathan, the guy whose neck Goodwin broke, was not a good person and therefore not on the list. After seeing AnaLucia and MrEko’s back stories, we can see how they would not be on the lists because they were not “good” people off the island. However, you are telling me Libby and Bernard weren’t good people either. It doesn’t add up. However, we see Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer on the Michael list later in the season. Does this make them good people? Really? What about the other good people, like Locke for instance? Something doesn’t smell right about the lists. Just before Michael runs off after Walt like the selfish d!ck that he is, he tells AnaLucia in his own inimitable style “They took my son!!”. AnaLucia returns with they took a lot of things. FACE. With a quick smack, AnaLucia spikes that can of corn right back at Michael. He is whining about his missing son to the leader of a group that has lost 18 members, including more children than just one dopey kid. Mr Eko explains to Jin how the Others do not leave tracks, which reminded me of an Easter Egg, a bonus scene from the Season 2 DVD. I believe it was Disc 2. As the disk is at the menu portion, they reshow the scene of Mr Eko and Jin hiding in the bushes, watching the Others walk by in barefeet and dragging a teddy bear. What they add is that the last Other is carrying a palm leaf, and is brushing the footprints out of the path. They do not leave tracks. It’s a shame the Tailies turned out to be mere footnotes in this series, as Jacob did not visit them off island, they didn’t last very long on the island, and even more unfortunately is that the sharp as a bag of mothballs Bernard is the only one left. Other than anyone that was kidnapped and is still alive somewhere.

We got full exposure to some horrible episodes, featuring missing wedding rings and a need to baptize a baby. Honestly, that baptism episode stunk really bad. Charlie keeps taking the baby, gets beaten up by Locke. And if Charlie is talking about a dream, why is Locke all of the sudden a skeptic, that renowned man of faith. It’s bullsh!t. Charlie has gone out of his way to help Claire, nearly lost his life for her, but he goes for a walk with the kid, and he is the most hated man in camp. Further, how stupid is his drug habit. He beats the addiction, and is a good guy. He gets tempted, bad guy. He overcomes temptation, good guy. He gets tempted again, bad guy. Just make up your mind already. You’re wasting our time. Focking just drown already. It’s not that I didn’t like Charlie, it’s just his story line was pointless after a while, including the flashbacks. Just the same old sh!t. So the island tempts Charlie, he passes the test, and the island kills him soon after anyway. Pointless and ponderous.

After Mr Eko returns an injured Sawyer to the hatch, the con man makes a bad decision to say about Kate “I love her”. Oh, bad move, Romeo. Kate meanwhile is sleep deprived from watching Sawyer, and sees a manifestation of a black horse which helped her escape from the marshal off-island. Again, sleep deprived increases chances of such visions. Turns out, Kate murders her mother’s boyfriend with a gas explosion, much to her mother’s disapproval. And never shows any remorse for it. Kate gets spooked by a possessed Sawyer, leaves him to die, and 10 minutes later is playing tonsil hockey with Dr Jack. Wow, that was a quick change in direction by Kate. Only to be repeated another thousand times over the next few seasons. Can somebody just kill her already? Please. So why did Kate kill her father? “I hated that you were a part of me.” Excuse me? That is a reason to kill somebody? I hate that you are my father, that your sperm led to my very existence, and since I hate myself so much, I will not kill myself but instead now I will kill you and not take responsibility for it but run. Hello? Is there anybody listening? I am stunned. You would think the guy would have at least molested her or hit Kate or something. Nope. She killed him because Kate had low self esteem. This warped logic just made my nose bleed. Please, somebody tell me this giant sack of suck is not supposed to be a likable character. “Every time I look at Sawyer, I see you.” Get up, Sawyer, and run. This crazy b!tch is going to blow you up too.

When Michael starts to use the Swan computer to talk to Walt, it’s fairly obvious it’s Ben or a minion typing back from the Pearl station, watching Michael.

The Mr Eko flashbacks were terrific. All of them. When Charlie leads Eko to the drug plane, the Smoke monster is following. Eventually, Eko and the dark Smoke Monster have a staring contest, and the monster blinks first. Nice scene. We could see in slow motion how the monster pulls memories out of a person’s head, which it then uses for it’s advantage and schemes and manifestations later. And that is the confusing thing. Last week, I proclaimed that the Christian manifestation was dark smoke monster and led Jack to the caves. But Jacob also scanned the Losties off island by touching them, so he could have led Jack to the caves as a white smoke monster manifestation, and since Christian has said that he speaks for Jacob, it makes more sense. Let’s face it, it’s confusing to know right this second who is doing what course correcting and for what purpose when it comes to Jacob vs X. I’d just speculating that two different smoke monsters exist without any definite proof. Mr Eko sees a recently departed AnaLucia in a dream, and Yemi too. Before, he was told to build a church. His new mission is to help John. Mr Eko is picking up John’s slack in the faith department, and is starting to be tested by island. The button needed to be pushed. I’m not sure if Jacob or X is pushing Eko along. We saw Eko scanned by the dark smoke monster, but does X want Locke helped so that later on he could take over his dead body. Certainly, there is a lot to think about in instances like this. Who is behind which manifestation and for what ultimate purpose. Not on a micro level, but a macro long term investment purpose. Eko needs John to take him to the question mark, which we discover is the Pearl hatch, which very much resembles the TV aisle in a Best Buy. Eko, in a flashback, investigates a miracle of a girl coming to life during an autopsy. Her father is Mr Malkin, the psychic that got Claire her plane tickets. Malkin goes on and on to Eko about how he is a fraud, he gathers intelligence, and exploits people. So, what was his motivation to get Claire on that plane and that she must raise the child herself, but then sets her up to give up her baby in Los Angeles. Course correcting? Sure. But what is the motivation, or who is behind the course correction in this case?

After Michael goes rogue, locking Locke and Jack in the armory and goes after Walt, we get a face to face meeting by campfire with the Others. Tom tells Jack that Walt is a very special boy. Why? We may never know. In order to save Kate, who was told to stay behind but she doesn’t listen like usual, the Losties give up a third of the guns that they have. What kind of decision is that. I’d have kept the guns and let them have Kate. Rubes, every last one of them. Rubes. Later, AnaLucia comes up with the line of the Season. She asks Jack, as they are talking about Kate, “You hitting that?” Yeah, I’d hit that. With a piano dropped from a significant height.

Sawyer runs a simply brilliant long con with Charlie’s help in kidnapping Sun leading to getting his hands on all the guns. “There is a new sheriff in town, boys.” That was one of the high points of the series. The con he pulled with Cassidy was pretty slick too.

Sayid fixes a radio, catches a transmission of the Glenn Mille Orchestra. Hurley says the music could be coming from anywhere, or anytime. Nice foreshadowing.

When Michael was held prisoner, we were introduced to a character of Mrs. Klugh. After she got off to a promising start, she never mattered in the show again other than asking Mikhail to shoot her outside the Flame station rather than being captured in Season 3. Which of course gave me the impression that she knew her death would be temporary, as in loop. Or maybe she thought she was dying for a worthy cause. I’m sure I’ll dwell on this during next season’s review.

Danielle captures Henry Gale, brings Sayid along, and states matter of factly that he is one of them, the Others. She should know. Ben/Henry stole Alex from her during Season 5. Rousseau shoots Henry with an arrow, signifying the beginning of the suffering of Ben, where it seems he is constantly battered and bruised, looking like a ragamuffin. We get the brief back story of Inman, the man who got Sayid to torture for him, and the man who was to become Desmond’s partner pushing a button. Ben starts his own long con from the armory, having Mr Eko apologize to him for killing a few Others, getting Jack and Locke to fight, driving Locke crazy about not pushing the button, drawing a map to the balloon then joking that is would be a trap. There was a food drop and the blast doors trapped John underneath. But he got a fluorescent look at where some of the other hatches on the island would be located. The blast door fractured Locke’s leg. This led to the reveal that Rose also knew that Locke was in a wheelchair on the plane, so she knew the miracles the island could perform, like curing her cancer. Once it was determined that Henry Gale was dead, I had to wonder how he died. He left a goodbye note, walked toward the beach, and had his neck snapped. Then he was buried under his balloon. Did the Others kill the real Henry Gale? Kind of callous. Ben tells Locke that he was coming for him, and I believe him in this case. Locke was certainly mentioned in the Faraday journal, and the Others such as Widmore and Faraday’s mother and Richard saw Locke in the past, time traveling. Ben wanted to meet the man who would be such a key figure in the past and future of the island.

We find our third hatch – the Medical hatch with Rousseau, Claire, and Kate.

There was a memorable line by Sun upon announcing her pregnancy “I swear to you Jin, I have never been with another man, and that is the truth.” I’m too exhausted to get into it again with the evil that is Sun, so moving on…

Hurley sees his imaginary buddy Dave running around the island. Hurley kicks Sawyer’s ass in a fight, a genuinely humorous moment. Speaking of which, the Dave situation reminded me a lot of Fight Club, a glorious movie. I though a very key moment came when Dave dove off the cliff and told Hurley “See you in another life”. Yet another reference to Groundhog Day or Alternate Universe/Time Line. We find Libby in the mental hospital watching Hurley. Another plot line that doesn’t look like it will ever get resolved. Then again, realistically it’s hard to expect every detail to be explained to us, no matter how often I demand the answers.

AnaLucia takes a trip with Christian to Sydney. Hey, that’s another connection to JJAbrams. The main character in Alias was named Sydney. I didn’t notice that before. Anyway, Christian goes on a bender and decides to visit his daughter at 4:00AM, which is never a good idea. However, this is where we get the first clue, and only clue needed to be honest, that Jack and Claire are related. However, Christian points out very drunkenly that he is paying the mortgage on the house and has the right to see his daughter. See, this is why I don’t understand certain aspects of the law. Why wouldn’t he have the right to see his daughter? Just wake her ass up. ‘Ole Money Bags is here for a visit.

Desmond’s flashback introduces the character of Charles Widmore, who seemed so sinister and important for several seasons. Going into Season 6, does he matter all that much anymore? We realize that he is working on course correcting, and is not being cruel to Desmond just to be a d!ck by trying to bribe him and not allowing his letters to reach Penny or calling him a coward, but because he needs to steer Desmond in the right direction. Piss him off enough to get him to participate in some boat race and end up on the island pushing the button. Faraday’s journal chronicled the importance of Desmond, the constant, and Widmore along with Eloise Hawking had the journal. When Desmond returns to the Losties on the island, he makes a reference that they are all trapped in a snow globe on the island. Which was an excellent analogy considering the time fluxes surrounding it. We also see the mysterious Libby giving Desmond the sailboat for the race. Apparently, Libby’s husband David (imaginary Dave?) had just recently passed away and she didn’t need the boat anymore. Course correcting by Widmore? We will never know the story of Libby, I would suspect. A loose end..

When the Losties are marching into Michael’s trap, there was a some kind of bird that swooped down and said “Hurley”. Rewatching that scene was significant in that it was clearly a manifestation, and was undeniable proof that the writers on this show smoke weed. When Sawyer kills one of the Others, Jack finally decides to confront Michael on his lies. I was shocked to see Michael confess his crimes, and nobody punch him or shoot him. “It’s my son.” Really? I would have never guessed from the million times you’ve stated it this season. You know, there are some things you wouldn’t do for a child. Sayid, Jin and Sun see the 4 toed statue for the first time. It seemed like such a quick scene, but stirred so much debate over the years, and Season 5 showed how incredibly significant this structure was. Sayid explores the fake camp that was built to fool Michael. Seems like a lot of effort for a prank, but it was effective for it’s purpose. We find out where the journals go from the pneumatic tubes in the Pearl hatch – the middle of nowhere in the jungle. Some tasering happens, and Michael leaves with his boat. Ben assures Michael that the Others are the good guys. Well, I might not go that far; I don’t think we are any closer to resolving that statement today than the day Ben said that.

As John and Desmond push Eko out of his button pushing duty, Locke declares that the button is meaningless. “I’ve more sure of this than anything in my entire life.” Good think he said this a few minutes before declaring “I was wrong”. We see some of the hatch history explained by Inman, such as Radzinsky’s suicide, Inman painted on the blast doors. Pushing the button releases a built up discharge, but there is also a key for a failsafe. I suppose Radzinsky survived the Others gas attack because he was in the hatch, but how long was it until he realized he was the last Dharma left on the island. Also, he knew the true history of the Swan hatch, so who exactly was the Orientation film for? The Pearl orientation film might make some sense, in that it was a hoax, but why the Swan? Anyway, Desmond thinks that he was responsible for the Oceanic plane crash on the day he accidently killed a fleeing Inman and was late returning to the button. Desmond and Locke argue about the button until Locke breaks the computer and we get the expected system failure. Desmond turns the key, leading to future shenanigans in upcoming seasons. I didn’t like how Charlie ran away from the hatch, went to the beach, didn’t tell anyone what had happened, and then start making out with Claire. What about your buddies, dipsh!t? They might be dead.

We end with the Portuguese men in the Arctic who work for Penny, playing chess. Of course, much like the backgammon game from Season 1, chess is a battle of white vs black, a battle of wits, and a shining metaphor of Jacob vs X.

Oh, how I dread watching the upcoming Hydra island episodes and the cages and stupid Jack, Kate, and Sawyer triangle and worthless episodes about tattoos. What is salvageable is that we are introduced to Juliet, so it will be decent watching her character develop. See you in another week, brother. It will feel more like a lifetime. Stupid Hydra island.