Season 6 Preview - A Look Back On Season Three

I’ll admit it. Christmas music makes me angry. Oh, it has nothing to do with the religious observance of the holiday. It’s just that people are too happy, too shallow, too happy, too consumer driven, and too happy this time of year. No, I don’t like happy. Happy sucks. I tend to root for the villains when I am watching Law & Order: SVU, and boo the victims, even when they are found dead. Those marathons on USA are great. I yell at Girl Scouts that are trying to sell me plywood masquerading as cookies. I’ll chase them around the neighborhood with a trident. I’m cynical. So what? And just when you think it can’t get any worse, we get Jack and Kate during Season 3 of LOST. Oh, how I would love to beat them to death with a stocking full of scorpions covered in poison. What follows is long, rambling, idiotic, and occasionally drunken mess. Sorry.

To explain my sense of where this show is on a fundamental basis, I am reminded of a similar concept, from the Matrix trilogy of movies. Nobody said that the Lost concept was original at the core, but the presentation of the series has been unique. So, let’s explore the core of the show. In the second Matrix film, the Keanu Reeves “Neo” character meets the Architect, the man who is responsible for building the Matrix, a program designed to misdirect the human mind as to what is actual reality. During the conversation, the Architect tells Neo that not only is he the chosen one and the anomaly to the whole Matrix which makes everything work and can make everything fall apart. The key to the whole enchilada. Most importantly, he is the 5th incarnation to visit him in the Architect’s super secret location. The 5th loop. Neo is given two choices: the first choice is to go back to where he came from and save humanity. Although the underground city of Zion will be destroyed, but Neo will be given a dozen or so people to help recolonize the planet, to start all over again to rebuild and start over with humanity. Basically, this is a reset of sorts whenever the game changer gets to a certain point. And then the same events more or less transpire again in a loop. However, Neo gets stronger and smarter with every incarnation, making progress, and eventually with free will chooses the other path, the 2nd choice. He chooses to save his gal Trinity and risk the potential annihilation of all mankind forever in order to be given a chance to destroy the Matrix. In third movie, he breaks the loop, and goes on to beat the odds and give humanity a way of life free from the Matrix and peace on earth. Along the way, there are course correctors, people who know what is truly happening, and pushing people and events along to where they need to be. There are also temptations offered by the Matrix that some fail, like the Joe Pantaliano character in the first Matrix movie. It is not until Neo clearly breaks the loop, choosing the other door, that we get uncharted territory. Do you see where I am going with this? Both Groundhog Day, and the Matrix movies are good examples of what I think is going on with this seemingly muddled show. The picture is becoming clearer of what has been happening, especially when I’m rewatching everything from the beginning. Desmond is huge part of seeing this overall truth, and Season 3 really opens the door to this line of thinking. Sure, the season also has the polar bear cages and other not fun stuff. Honestly, it’s hard to predict where we are headed in Season 6. However, I don’t think that is a defeat to deduction. Season 6 is uncharted territory, things that we could not possibly foresee because the characters themselves have no way of knowing what will happen because nobody has been outside of this contained universe, the Loop. The mind bending roller coaster experience of Lost starts to pick up momentum during these Season 3 episodes. I will point out some scene continuity errors which lead me to believe that the first 5 seasons of Lost are not one long continuous loop. Nope. My attention to detail is slightly blurry from watching so many episodes back to back. But you can pick up on them in many episodes, and I will mention some of the obvious ones. This is the show: we are seeing scenes from multiple loops strung together for our viewing pleasure. Are you following what I’m saying? I could try to come up with a cheesy metaphor or simile to try to relate this situation, but let’s try plain speak. At any particular time, we are seeing a scene from a loop. The very next scene could be from another loop. There isn’t much difference in content and action, ans the story lines are nearly identical, as we come to expect in looped events. But the fine details are…..off. Very slight changes. Nothing that ruins the story line. But things are different. Daniel Faraday kept saying for a long time that whatever happened, happened. And for the most part, he was right. But within the individual loops, slight changes could still happen, the minor details. It’s the major events that could not be screwed with. So when the paintings change in Widmore’s office, that is a continuity error resolved by us knowing that is just one scene from, oh let’s say Loop #2. Then the paintings change again within seconds, because it is a scene from Loop #4. The show is a collection of scenes from different loops, jumping from loop to loop. It seems that the ultimate loop breaker, like Keanu Reeves choosing a different door, was the actions that led to Juliet detonating the bomb. That is why Eloise Hawking said in Season 5 that she didn’t know what happens next, because things were starting to become different, things not contained with Daniel Faradays book, things not experienced by any of the course correctors or the people aware of the looping life. And Season Six is likely to be what happens when that loop breaks, when we wake up to see February 3rd like in Groundhog Day. But I hope everybody is seeing what I’m trying to say. The show, all 5 seasons so far, has been a compilation of different scenes of let’s say for example five loops. And it’s basically edited to show us scenes from different loops, with slight differences here and there. Remember when I swore up and down in Season 5 that young Ben was dead because time traveling Sayid shot him in the heart, but the next week the bullet wound was on the opposite side of his torso and Ben lived. This is simply the difference of what occurred in different loops. The writers edited together different loop scenes to give us a “What the hell?” type of moment, and to drive me insane. Not alternate timelines necessarily which I entertained the thought of briefly. Different loops. Desmond sees Charlie die in various ways, because Desmond can see through the Matrix misdirection after the hatch blew up, and actually see the ways Charlie died in different loops, can see the code of the Matrix like Keanu Reeves did. It all fits together like jigsaw pieces in my head. I hope that I was able to adequately explain that insanity to you, the patient reader, as I start dissecting Season Three, and revist these concepts through the end of Season Five and into the future. If Season Six proves we wrong with my concept, so be it. I gave this a valiant effort. Daniel Faraday told us that if the bomb is detonated, the plane lands in Los Angeles. That is your start of Season 6. My questions are: will the island cease to exist? What happens to Ben, Sun, Illana that are trapped in current time on the island? Do the island people like Richard? Do any of these folks end up on the plane along with the expected passengers of 815 like Jack, Hurley, Charlie, Libby, Walt, the marshal, Neil the Frogurt guy, Pauolo, etc. If you are still with me, let’s continue.

So, the Other’s book club is interrupted by the Oceanic 815 plane crash, a very cool looking scene, as the plane is simply pulled apart in the sky. Ben instructs Ethan and Goodwin to go look for survivors, compile lists, and don’t do anything for 3 days. Of course, as I mentioned in the last preview, 3 people were kidnapped from the Tailies on the first night. Unless this was a loop disparity, where Ben didn’t say make a list. Eureka!!! Instead of dwelling on these little details that do not add up like I tend to do, it is simply something from another loop the show is giving us. Oh, how breathtakingly simple that concept is, and soothes my inner rage over contradictions in the story line. Brilliant!!!! Juliet’s book choice is Carrie, who I can see as analogous to Juliet, who we see bullied by Ben, disappointed by Jack, and eventually having her relationship with Sawyer destroyed by Kate coming back. So goes crazy at the end and sets off a bomb at the prom. So, we meet Juliet, who explains to Jack, “I don’t think you’re stupid Jack, just stubborn”. Um, Juliet, you may reconsider that last thought. He is pretty dumb. Tom tells us for the first time that he is gay by telling Kate that she is not his type. Well, Kate isn’t my type either, but when Tom throws a football later in the season, there is no doubt about his type. For the record, I can throw a football just fine. Now, it is true that Jack is stubborn. But it doesn’t take a genius to be stubborn. A monkey can be both stupid and stubborn when it’s trying to hump a basketball. That would sum up Jack’s obsession with learning the name of Sarah’s new boyfriend. Now, a smart person might decide to hire a private detective or something equally simple but still clever. Jack decides to show up at a divorce hearing and tells his cheating soon to be ex-wife that she can have the house, the cars, everything, I just need a name. Really, Jack? Really? That’s the plan? Custard has a better plan. Every character in There’s Something About Mary had a better plan. Then you go tackle your dad at an A.A. meeting because you want a name? How about you take a wad cash like a normal broken human being and go out and get some hookers and coke. Get a grip, dummy. Following his natural instincts, Jack manages to nearly flood the hatch he is in and get knocked out by a punch from Juliet. Solid work by Jack the whole episode. Early on, we see that Ben does not value the life of Juliet all that much, or at least he is very self protective. Ben goes on to tell Jack that “I’ve lived on this island all my life.” Whatever Ben says could have complicated meanings, but this was a lie I believed for a couple of episodes.

As Kate is put in her cage, after Ben promised her the next two weeks would be unpleasant, we see that she looks beat up, tear stained, and her arms are skinned and raw around where the handcuffs are. Um, did the Others rough her up in some way before putting her in the cage? Kate looked like she was in a state of shock. She and Sawyer are made to work hauling rocks on the Hydra hatch island, which we find out definitively a couple of seasons later was to clear the way to build a runway for the Ajira airplane emergency landing.

Young Sun breaks a glass statue, and continues to lie to her father, despite the consequence of the maid being fired. Sun is a natural liar with very little evidence of a conscious or soul. Even more striking is Sun’s father, Mr Paik, and his weird eyes. Holy Cyclops, Batman. That guy has one eye opened, and the other is nearly closed. When he gets agitated, the difference is even more pronounced as he gets bug eyed, in just one eye. Aaaargh. It be pirate day. It’s Popeye, the car salesman. Toot. Toot. We get definitive proof of Sun’s infidelity, but she is caught in the act by Mr Paik, her affair ends when Jae falls from a building. I’ve wondered if the death was suicide or murder, but considering Jae was clutching the pearls he wanted to give to Sun, I guess he jumped on his own after Jin kicking his ass. Well, if I were young and rich, I would left the country and lived a life of luxury and fun. But I guess a terrifying fall to your death is fun too. Sun ends up shooting the Other Colleen, one of the few times I’ve been happy by something that Sun has done on the show. But Sayid is badly outsmarted in trying to lay a trap for the Others. Worst soldier ever.

The hatch is gone, Locke can’t speak, Desmond is naked, and Mr Eko is nowhere to be found. Ah, this is what I imagine living on campus while attending college is most likely all about. The crater of the imploded hatch itself seems awfully small considering the sheer size of the hatch, the various rooms, the tunnel leading to the shaft, the concrete areas, etc. The crater looked like about 1/10 of the size of the hatch, oddly enough. This isn’t a loop differentiation as much as just bad props. In the sweat lodge, Locke sees Boone, and they have a bizarre trip through an airport, seeing many of the key characters hanging around. We see a back story on John on a hippie commune, and he is the patsy again, as the FBI used him to break up a drug ring. Locke is such a pathetic sad sack off island. Yet, this lump of mashed potatoes that is Locke is able to rescue Mr Eko from a cave guarded by a bad CGI image of something that is supposed to look like a polar bear but looked more like an angry elderly diner jockeying for position in a Florida buffet at around 4:30PM on a Wednesday. The intriguing thing about that bear cave which I missed previously is that it was full of human skeletons and Dharma uniforms. Did the bears hunt Dharma folks? If they were so dangerous to Dharma members, why no mention of them during Dharma time travel days from 1977? Was the polar bear a monster manifestation? Maybe. Desmond starts to show signs of his loop awareness by seeing details before they happen in the current loop. Like the speech given by Locke on the beach, and the lighting strike at the camp, and saving Claire from drowning. He doesn’t see the future, but more likely the past incarnations of the upcoming future. He simply sees the loop with heightened perception, in a series of flashed images.

Sawyer is having a tough time. He can’t figure out the fish biscuit machine faster than the polar bears, Ben beats the hell out of him with his baton weapon, he has a needle plunged into his heart, Pickett beat the hell out of him, and then finds out he has a daughter while in prison. I’ve had better weeks. We see another long con by Sawyer to get out of jail, but Ben one ups him by revealing that there is no pacemaker and that they are on another island. This was a classic “What the fock?” kind of moments that make this show so grand. Sawyer sleeps with his second woman on the island in Kate. The pattern that is established is that Kate seems to sleep with Sawyer whenever she feels an emotion of some kind.

Mr Eko receives several visits from Yemi on the island, or in other words the black smoke monster. For sure. We see the black wisps of smokes several times as Yemi is making his appearances. Oddly enough, the black smoke monster keeps hiding/fleeing whenever Locke shows up. I will have to study this in the future, but during the Mr Eko judgment, the monster was obviously hiding. It was certainly a precursor to the Ben judgment to come in Season 5, basically the same thing. The island tells Yemi “it is time to confess, be judged”. John asks Eko what he has seen since Locke “saw a very bright light, it was beautiful”. Eko responds with “that is not what I saw”, leading to my speculation that we have two very different smoke monsters on the island. The lady back in Nigeria in Eko’s last flashback resonated with “one day you will be judged Eko, you owe God for every life you’ve taken” in response to Eko killing several militia members. I would put forth that Eko did the right thing in killing those thugs. So maybe that broad should get down off her mighty high horse and stick to what she knows best, giving away the vaccines and shaking a stick, a stick no doubt stuck up her ass, at the people trying to help her. Eko finishes his story arc with “I ask for no forgiveness, I have not sinned, just survived.” Eko gets a sound thrashing by the dark smoke monster in a visually stunning scene. He whispers into Locke’s ear “You’re next.” Let’s first say that it seems absurd that the island will not forgive Eko for his activities, but does forgive Ben 2 seasons later. Both are just as culpable, just as guilty of their crimes. Eko serves no more purpose to the island? Yes, I know that Eko asked to be written off the show. But it hardly seems fair that Ben lives through judgment but Eko dies. Which means Jacob vs. X is hardly about being fair, and not necessarily about Good vs. Evil. There is something else in play, something we have yet to discover. There is a rivalry, but what is the quarrel exactly? What are the stakes? It’s curious. It seems to skew into a battle of Free Will vs Fate/Destiny. Jacob thinks Free Will will break the cycle, while X thinks things will always repeat themselves. As far as the “you’re next” part, I don’t recall the monster directly killing anybody else after Eko, other than I guess Nikki and Paulo, who actually were in the group that saw Eko die. Is John next, as the dark monster and/or X assume control of his dead body in Season 5? Even when the monster attacked Keamy’s men in Season 4, it merely wounded one person, killing no one. It spared Ben’s life. Or was this “You’re next” just a false trail, leading nowhere, like Walt’s story. Eko dies but remains one of the most likeable characters on the show.

Ben and Juliet are running good cop, bad cop, especially when Juliet starts to show Jack flashcards not to trust Ben and that he should kill him in surgery. At this point, it’s clear to me that the list of people that Michael needed to bring back had nothing to do with Jacob or Richard. Ben needed Jack to perform the surgery, and he asked that Kate and Sawyer be brought along as leverage since they are his best friends on the island at this point. Well, Kate is. But Ben can use Kate’s lust for Sawyer as leverage. Ben is showing is cleverness. Especially getting Jack to come out of his cell, and catch Sawyer and Kate on the TV screens. Pickett in a throw away line said “Shepherd (Jack) wasn’t on Jacob’s list anyway.” Odd, since Jack is such an important character. I might as well just crumple up any talk of lists at this point. None of it adds up. While I think Ben manipulated some of the audio on the “broken” intercom, I suspect some of it was leaked to Jack by the island, such as Christian’s voice. I can’t imagine Ben leaking Christian’s voice. Why?

Kate continues to act selfish as she gets married while on the run. A nice cameo by the captain from Firefly and Serenity, a short lived TV show and a pretty good movie follow up. Anyway, how exactly does Kate get married in a church full of cops that don’t recognize her, but is spotted by a farmer in Australia as the fugitive that she is? Yikes. She shows her tender side by confessing her crimes and drugging her husband, only to run away. What, no counseling? But how awful is the scene when she gets on the pay phone and calls the marshal. “Stop chasing me; I’m in love.” Whaaaa!!! I swear on all things holy, at this point I feel more sympathy for Leona Helmsley, the lady that kidnapped 101 Dalmatians, and Precious than I do for Kate. Well, maybe not Precious. Speaking of which, Kate is the Gollum of LOST. I’d like to include a picture here, but let’s just use our imagination and place Kate’s head on top of Gollum’s body. In the director’s cut, the next call to the marshal “He wants the precious. Always he is looking for it. And the precious is wanting to go back to him... But we mustn't let him have it.”

In the sequence where Sawyer is about to get shot, I got very uncomfortable with the awful dialogue. Shouting + Lost character = Yuck. Kate is yelling slogans to Sawyer “Don’t you give up” and “Don’t stop fighting” and “Jack, I can’t leave without you” and “Hang in there, kitty” and “We have a pond in the back. We have a pool and a pond. The pond would be good for you”. Jack trumps all of this nonsense with “Dammit, Kate, run.” I wanted her to run straight into the mouth of a shark. Oh, woe is me listening to these lunkheads. Now I remember why I hated these episodes. Dammit, Kate, why can’t you be Brittany Murphy? Too soon? Jack cut’s Ben’s kidney sack to induce the extra bleeding. Of course, Locke gave his kidney to his father, and then Ben shoots Locke where his kidney was supposed to be when Locke fell into the Dharma mass grave and lived. We have kidneys then a chili. Yeah, I know. Boooo. When Sawyer and Kate make their escape, I was drawn to a humorous scene I completely missed the first or second time around. Sawyer banged Pickett’s head into the fish biscuit machine repeatedly until it zapped Pickett. That is a type of revenge they don’t teach you. With the possible exception of community college. Alex helps the escape, but not until we see the brainwashing of Karl sequence. The most significant information here is that by playing the brainwashing music/noise backwards, it says “only fools are enslaved by time and space”, certainly a fantastic foreshadowing to the time travel and island moving and other whacky plot twists to come. A cameo I missed the first time is that the guy guarding the brain washing building, Aldo, is Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a hidden gem of a sitcom which I enthusiastically endorse.

As Juliet is being recruited to join the Others, Richard shows Juliet an Xray of a 26 year old woman, who Juliet had guessed to be about 70. This implies to me a certain rapid aging on the island of certain body parts, or theoretically an island looping Other, who is reliving time on the island, and the age remains constant of that person outwardly (Richard) where they flip back to where they were, but for some reason the womb of a woman does not keep pace and keeps aging, with this particular Xray woman looping about 3 times at this point. This may necessitate the need for a fertility expert and why women keep dying in child birth on the island.

The most important episode in Season 3, and arguably the whole series, is when Desmond wakes up and is living with Penny in his old apartment. He is experiencing flashes of his life in the hatch throughout this awareness. But while you see some red herrings tossed in, like time travel, which of course will happen later in the series, I will be confident that the time loop is really the culprit here. Desmond is simply aware of an early period of time in the loop. The Swan hatch is a later time. The record has skipped, and he is now living during the period of time when he is sitting in the office of Charles Widmore. If you have a chance, go rewatch this episode, for many, many reasons. Continuity is really off the rails here. When we first see Desmond sitting with Widmore, the resume being reviewed, there is a painting with a polar bear hanging on a wall on Desmond’s right hand side. Just moments later, as the camera pans out, the painting is hanging on a wall on Desmond’s left hand side. How is this possible? These are minor changes that happen within the loop. While Desmond visits Widmore every time within the loop, little details can and will change. It’s the big events that are constant. To repeat, the big events are constant, the little details can change, from loop to loop. Once the big events start to change, that is when someone like Ms Hawking can say, I don’t know what happens next. When Desmond eventually rushes out of the building, you see Charlie playing a guitar, Wonder Wall by Oasis, with the chorus of “You’re gonna be the one to save me.” This is another red herring. The cardboard sign in the guitar case says Charlie Hieronymous Pace. When you Google Hieronymous, you get information on a famous painter. Again, to me, this is bringing focus upon the paintings in Widmore’s office, and how they changed. Same scene, but from different loops. When Widmore tells Desmond that he is not worthy of the scotch, he is pushing Desmond into the “I’ll show him” mode that eventually gets Desmond to enter the boat race to show Wdimore that he is worthy. What a dumb reason too. I won a boat race. Yeah? So what? Go find a cure for gout. Go invent a tasty sandwich. Then I’ll be impressed. Win a boat race? That’s as horrible as winning Flavor of Love. As Desmond confronts Charlie, he says some startling things. “No, I remember this, this all happened before.” Yes, indeed Desmond, and more than one time. “And then it started to rain.” Boom, it starts to rain a few seconds later. We’ve seen Locke pull the same thing back on the island. And Locke was in the same hatch explosion. Might Locke have the same ability as Desmond? This ability is a higher consciousness, and awareness of events within the loop as it repeats. “I remember things, just bits and pieces.” Desmond points out to his pal that England comes back in miraculous fashion to win the soccer match on TV and that the bartender gets slugged because he owes money. While Desmond is correct about the events, he was wrong about the day, as it occurred the next day. The action was constant, but the details were a wee bit off, meaning it happened the next day. So whatever happens, happens, but a day later. A fluctuation within one of the loops. When Desmond goes in to buy a ring for Penny, Hawking stuns Desmond with some dialogue. “You’ve never done this before.” Which may or may not have been in a conversational tone. This is said prior to Desmond even making the decision to buy the ring. “I’ll take it.” “No, you won’t.” Ms Hawking says, looking completely shocked and yet with sternness of a nun just before she was to whack your fingers with a ruler. “This is wrong; You don’t buy the ring. You have second thoughts, you walk right out that door; if you don’t do that, every single one of us is dead.” What a thrilling sequence of dialogue. Hawking is telling us Desmond is trying to do something completely unexpected, like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix movies. He has done the same thing repeatedly in this situation before, and the loop continues comfortably, but now he is trying to veer off the norm, a change in the loop that is not a minor detail, but in fact a game changing one. A game breaker. And since Hawking is trying to keep everything on course, making me wonder why the followers of Jacob are trying to course correct instead of breaking the routine which is Jacob’s goal, but Hawking explains to Desmond about the universe course correcting. This is not quite right, as it is Hawking and Widmore and their people looking to course correct in future activities, not necessarily the universe. When Ms Hawking says “every single one of us is dead”, is this the earth in general, or the people on the island specifically, believing that this course of action wipes out the Others (bomb detonates). It is somewhat sad to see Ms Hawking tell Desmond that “the only great thing you’ll ever do is pushing that button”. It is pure manipulation. I always felt the photo of Desmond and Penny at the marina background didn’t quite match their pose. The head tilts specifically. Loop detail? There are so many times when I think Penny is less genuine that other people think. Is she in on the course correcting, as she seems to be in the right place at the right time quite a bit. I know that some people on some level like the romance angle to the show, particularly the Desmond and Penny coupling, but I just can’t fully buy into it, and probably never will, that the daughter of Widmore is a pure soul. Desmond tells the bartender “I’m pretty sure I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life, and I’m pretty sure I’ve done it before.” Yes, I believe you have, many times. Just as Desmond starts to think he can change things, he gets knocked back into present time. “Let me go back one more time. I’ll do it right this time.” Well, what exactly is “It”, other than what Jacob and X consider “it” After getting drunk on the beach, and I swear I can drink that pansy Desmond under the table considering he gets hammered on less than a 1/5 of scotch and another time on one and a half bottles of wine. Not that it isn’t at least a little bit respectable. It’s not like some pansy world leader that invites a group of men over for alcohol and a chat and limits consumption to a single beer. Are you kidding? There isn’t a man on this planet that would drink a single beer. When one beer sneaks into your system, 12 of his friends are coming along for the ride. One beer? One? Can somebody please check One Beer Sally Obama for male genitalia? Ugh. Desmond is resigned to the fact that no matter what you do, you can’t change it, and that Charlie will die sooner rather than later. This line of thinking is ultimately going to be proven wrong A powerful episode, I didn’t realize how right out in the open the Loop Theory is until you rewatch this episode specifically and know what you are looking for. It’s rather transparent.

Another Easter egg pops up, when Disc 3 of the season three DVD on the home menu recreates the Juliet flashcard scene with Jack in a glass cage, wanting him to kill Ben. She shows an extra card, stating “By the way, your ex-wife is much prettier than me”. Kind of a weird comment, considering the writers on the show spend the next three seasons having Juliet running around the jungle, showing off her cleavage every chance possible, in bikinis, in mud fights, while the next time we see Sarah is when she is pregnant and mean to Jack. I’ve brought this up before, what is the deal with the ladies on the show that look attractive on the island, but as soon as we see them at any time off island, they cake on more makeup than Tammy Faye going as a circus clown to a costume ball. Jumping Jehosophat. What, she’s dead too?

In arguably the worst idea for an episode in the history of television, we get the opportunity to learn everything we always wanted to about Jack’s ugly tattoos. This was the worst collection of acting in the history of anything that has ever been filmed. Tom, Jack, the sheriff, Bai Ling, everybody sucking sucked. Think about the worst acting you’ve ever seen, maybe a school play, or maybe the movie Titanic. Then imagine if these performers were drunk, had a stuttering problem, and being swarmed by killer bees. They would get the lines out better than these LOST misfits. Holy Toledo. Isabel is the sheriff. OK. Where does this story line go? Nowhere, that’s where. She appears in one episode, supposedly as a powerful Other, and is never seen again. Brilliant. We see Cindy and the kids from the Tailies beach while Jack is in a polar bear cage. Jack shouts at them. Jack shouting at any time is usually the worst dialogue ever written and he delivers it just as terribly. But Cindy and the Others that visit have no clue Ana Lucia is pushing up daisies. The Others have communication issues. Juliet gets branded, but that story line was dropped. Jack gets beaten on the Phuket beach because he sexually assaulted….no…he violently beat…..no….he was given blueberry pancakes to eat and Jack said he hates blueberries…no….he forced a woman against her will to give him bad tattoos. Crickets. This is a plot development? Go screw.

When Vincent comes running out of a jungle with a skeleton arm, I assumed Ann Coulter had a cameo on the show. Was Smokie as Vincent beginning a test for Hurley and if this was a way to introduce an important weapon to defeat the Others in the season finale, a Dharma van. We get some Hurley backstory, namely the meteor that hits his restaurant, his father being a deadbeat, and his mother has needs and is a very passionate woman. Sawyer had a number of funny moments here, drinking beers, playing with Roger’s skull, calling Hurley “International House of Pancakes” while teaching Jin the English language. Three things a woman needs to hear: I’m sorry, You were right, Those pants don’t make you look fat. The van starts up despite any expectation of gas in the tank and somehow the tires aren’t deflated and there are vines growing out of the engine. Comedy relief episode and very little information gained.

Kate decides she needs to rescue Jack, and doesn’t care a bit that Jack told her not to. It’s hard to find a worthwhile thing Kate has done in her whole life. On Christmas Eve, he’d have angels convincing her that the world would be a better place if she never existed. “I have to go back for him” and she doesn’t realize that she never helps anyone, much less with such a tough task such as leaving the island. Kate comes storming into all situation with the efficiency and skill of a FAILdozer. Of course, she convinces Rousseau to come, dangling the bait of Alex. Well, both of them die a little bit later on. Sigh, another trail of death and destruction caused by Kate. Or, it’s just Kate needing somebody to lust after her after Sawyer told her he wasn’t interested anymore. The transparency of the character makes my teeth hurt. Seriously, does anybody actually like Kate? Is she popular at atll. I guess the show was built around Kate and Jack, but I can’t imagine anybody cares about them. Maybe because they are just so flawed and I perceive they are the popular stars, I spend a lot of rage picking them apart. But they are simply awful. Yes, I get repetitive and boring. But I’ve had it. I appreciate most of this show a great deal; I just can’t deal with the flotsam and jetsam. The team of Sayid, Locke, Kate, and Rousseau find the Flame communication hatch. Rousseau has survived on the island for 16 years by avoiding such confrontations. It’s tragic. She is just minding her own crazy business on the crazy island. The Losties show up. A few months later, she is dead. And Kate lives. Sigh. Where is the fairness? Mikhail shouts out “I did not cross the line, we had a truce!!” At the time, this was fodder for much speculation. Looking back at it now, it is nonsense. He is pretending to be Dharma, which had a truce with the hostiles, although he was outside the pylons. However, Sayid, Locke, Kate, and Rousseau had no way of knowing this, so it was a remark completely out of place and wrong time frame. Mikhail tells a series of lies and truths about Dharma and the hostiles, of which there isn’t much good information to really spend time on dissecting. While John plays chess, Sayid and Kate capture Ms Klugh and a Dharma operations manual in the basement. Ms Klugh and Mikhail are both so willing to die, and Klugh is shot by Mkihail. However, if Juliet gets branded for killing Pickett, shouldn’t Mikhail get the same for killing a fellow Other. Oh, that’s right. The Sheriff has gone missing forever. What a crock of sh!t. A torture victim confronts Sayid, and the only thing I really got from that story is that a cat appears in the jungle to Sayid, which looks like the cat the lady with chop meat arms had. Smokie? Locke blows up the Flame.

Young goth Claire gets into an accident, and her mother ends up in a coma. That sets up the less than surprising confirmation that Christian is Claire’s father, and Jack is Claire’s half brother. Claire had wished her mother dead just before the accident, so maybe she has some kind of Walt ability. The jungle gang sends Mikhail through the pylons to an apparent death, and then climb over the pylons. They are just in time to see Jack catch a football from Tom. This is the point where they need to turn around and go home. But Kate doesn’t want Jack to be happy without her.

Ben and John have a nice little chat in Ben’s house about wheelchairs and the island. But before we see Locke blow up the submarine, there were some noteworthy scenes. Specifically the clocks and refrigerator in Ben’s house. From scene to scene, Ben’s clocks had different times, some of them several hours in difference. This makes me refer to the variances in the loops. Locke visited Ben every time within the loop, but at different points in time. When Ben offers Locke some chicken from the fridge, we see the contents of the fridge. When Ben later opens the fridge door, the contents are quite different. Again, this whole show, we are seeing scenes from parts of the loop presented as if we are seeing one single continuous loop, but it is really a cut and paste of several loops, all leading to a finale in Season 6 of events when all the loops untangle as per Jacob’s plan. No more loops, but a single straight storyline finish. Locke is correct that he is more in tune with the island since he can walk and Ben can not. Ben talks about a ridiculous “magic box” Come on, a box? Really? I can’t remember what I thought back then when I first watched the episode, but I’m sure I have it saved, and I’d feel dumb if I read it. So I won’t. Hey, this guy has a shred of pride. No, you’re right. I don’t. Instead of a silly box, the Others kidnapped Anthony Cooper because they knew about Locke ahead of time and needed the father of Locke for manipulation. No doubt Ben gave this order, not Jacob or Richard. He needed Locke’s father to humiliate Locke and keep himself as leader of the Others. Ben does say that Locke will have a better understanding of things in time. After some loops, yes. But this is Ben being Ben, exploiting per usual.

Ah, Nikki and Paulo buried alive. Two horrible characters get tested by the island, and suffer a horrible death. Paulo might have had more noble intentions at the end, but the island wasn’t seeing enough repenting out of them. Of course, I hope that everybody heard the clanking as the spiders swarmed Nikki, no doubt Smokie doing the dirty work. It was very nice to see plot points seen from another vantage point, such as Yemi’s plane and the Pearl being discovered by Nikki and Paulo first. Paulo sees Ben and Juliet before anyone else when he was hiding in the bathroom of the Pearl hatch, but I’m still shaking my head about how Paulo left the hatch because you would think Ben and Juliet would have locked the hatch doors behind them. Maybe Paulo never saw Ben and Penny in the hatch in some loops, but was locked behind in one loop. Chew on that one. We find out why Paulo used the bathroom, storing and retrieving diamonds. Vincent keeps yanking the blankets of the bodies on the beach, since they weren’t dead yet. After Sun slapped Sawyer for the kidnapping, I swear Sawyer was looking at Sun’s ass as she walked away. In the end, nobody cared about Nikki and Paulo, the island and the viewers wanted them gone, and being buried alive was just as good as a Saw death. Yes, there are some elements of the Saw movies in LOST. The island wants to play a game, and the person must make some decisions as to whether they are worthy to remain alive, sometimes being forced into some morally questionable action. Also, Miles and Ben were in the first Saw movie, a nice little connection.

Kate meets Cassidy, the mother of Sawyer’s daughter. Yawn. John finds out what Kate had done off the island and admonishes her. Yawn. Kate is handcuffed to Juliet, gets into a mud fight with her, and is chased by Smokie. OK, now I’m awake. Kate explains to Cassidy her reasons for killing her step father: he beat my mom and I’m mad that my mother chose him over me. As we see over and over again, Kate’s ego does not allow her to accept that someone else could possibly be more important to somebody than Kate. Kate’s insanity and ego drove her to kill her father because her mother apparently betrayed Kate because her mother loved him. Cassidy nods her head and says sure, I’ll help you. Insanity. Pure insanity. Kate got Tom shot when she went to visit her mother. I guess that wasn’t enough, and her boyfriend that she shot in the bank to retrieve a toy plane wasn’t enough, so she puts Cassidy at risk as she again attempts to reconcile with her mother. Kate’s mom “What you did, you did for yourself.” Amen. Black smokie scans Juliet, wanders away, then comes back to attack. Weird style to attack, if you ask me, when you attack, go away, and come right back. The pylons get activated, and Smokie crashes into them. Instead of going over the pylons, the monster retreats like a wounded dumb animal. Hurley has been trying to con Sawyer into being a leader of the Losties with everybody else gone; Hurley is a bit late to that party, as Sawyer has already turned the corner to become just that. Jack vouches for Juliet, pissing off everybody.

Richard is in the process of getting Juliet on board the Others project. “Deep down, you know that you’re supposed to do something significant” which can refer to fertility or possibly smashing a bomb with a rock. Either way, it’s foreshadowing, or a sly reference to the Loop. Ben is spinning plates as he continues to con Juliet. Jacob will cure Juliet’s cancer if she remains on the island. Reality is that Ben used fake Xrays to trick Juliet. There was no return of the cancer to her sister. When Jack comes back to the beach, he is looked upon with suspicion and is no longer the unquestioned leader. While Jack insists that his opinion should be good enough, Sawyer calls him selfish. A true turning point. Claire gets sick from the implant the Others put in her. Juliet is shown to be sleeping with Goodwin. The island notices that Ben is using cancer to trick Juliet into remaining, so then Ben ends up with cancer. The island shows it has a sense of humor. This episode flashes back to the start of Season 3 in the first episode, as Juliet is wiping away tears and signing alone to Downtown by Petula Clark. The problem is that she is wearing an orange shirt while looking at herself in the mirror. However, as she turns around and the song continues to play, she picks up a couple of chairs to move for the upcoming book club meeting, while wearing a purple shirt. Um, the shirt color is different. Her outfit changed right before my eyes. Different loops, different shirts, same action. Juliet is shown a Rachel video in the Flame. Ben tells Juliet that “we will keep finding mothers, maybe there is one on that plane” Ben knows it ahead of time. Knowledge of loop events.

Desmond receives a temptation from the island in his next vision. Charlie dies, and seemingly that will allow Penny to arrive on the island. Desmond this time is trying to make something happen, rather than prevent something. Desmond certainly seems to be a game changer, but I have to wonder what role he is to play in Season 6 after a much reduced role in Season 5, to my surprise. We see the story of Desmond in a monastery. He woke up in the street to see a monk, and “I knew I was supposed to go with him” another reference to Loop history. Desmond eventually gets fired by Brother Campbell, who of course has a photo of himself and Ms Hawking on his desk. This leads to Desmond meeting Penny, either a pushed course correction by Brother Campbell, or Penny herself doing the course correction, or Penny being sent by Charles Widmore. Kate gets uncomfortably jealous of Jack and Juliet almost being a couple, and she has sex with Sawyer while crying. How much do we the viewers have to endure. Am I supposed to care? Really? I’d rather eat an ebola virus pudding than care. Sawyer with a few nice lines: You want me to make a mix tape? Along with the classic Are you two arguing over who is your favorite Other? So, we see that the camping mission results in Charlie not dying and the arrival of Naomi. However, the photo in the book that Naomi is carrying is Desmond with Penelope. We find out down the road that Naomi is hired by Widmore’s people. But the men on the freighter are looking for Ben to kill him. So does Widmore want to find Desmond and kill Ben at the same time? The motivation seems undefined. Sure, Widmore wants to return to the island, and he is pushing things along in the outside world. But why does he want Desmond found? You would think he wants to find Desmond only and only if he is with Penny, like during Season 5. Penny knew nothing about the freighter supposedly, based on what she tells Charlie later on. One could argue that Desmond changed events by not letting Charlie die. A painting hanging on the wrong wall is minor compared to a big difference than the wrong person lands on the island in a parachute. Penny was never coming, and we never saw who was the parachutist in Desmond’s vision.

Sun gets blackmailed. Ugh. She goes to Cyclops and asks for a sh!t load of money, to protect Jin from shame. OK, I’m not going to pretend to know how important reputation is in the Asian countries formerly known as the Orient, because Asia also means Russia and India. Stupid politically correct morons. But who is the shame going to be directed to? Jin, the poor son of a fisherman and prostitute who marries one of the richest women in the country, or Sun, who marries a man of such “embarrassing” background, or possibly Mr Paik for allowing his daughter to marry the “embarrassing” Jin. Notice something there? Who loses in that scenario? Does Jin really get the short straw by the revelation? He married up. Is Sun being charitable and protective of Jin’s pride, or is she trying to save herself. As soon as Mr Paik says that Jin will have to pay for this debt, don’t you immediately walk away from the money he has just offered you. Hell, move to another country with Jin if this pride thing is so important to you. But you ultimately screw over Jin by forcing him into the debt of Mr Paik because you don’t want TMZ to have any content for their show for one night. Bleech. I just can’t follow the logic of the characters in this instance. Sun insists on the money because she pretends she doesn’t know what her father does? Oh, really? Your father is a rich man, and most likely corrupt. However, some of us folks that grew up poor would have loved to be given that life. Some not. But don’t make that the motivation. If you are so upset by what he does, and when you ask him for the money and he says Jin will pay the debt, what exactly do you think Jin will have to do then? Criminal stuff? Well, you put him in that situation. Then you decide Jin isn’t living up to your expectations, cheat on him, and make plans to leave him. Because it’s your fault. Come, on. When Jin chases down the surprisingly alive Mikhail in the jungle, he kicks some Russian ass, no doubt releasing some pent up anger from being married to the Sun monster. A hidden room in the Medical hatch and an ultrasound later, we know that Jin is the father of Sun’s demon child. Naomi tells Hurley that they found the Oceanic 815 wreckage, and there were no survivors. Naomi probably helped set that scam up since she was working for the man responsible ultimately responsible for the misdirection in Widmore.

Ben manipulates Locke into thinking he brought his father to the island, which we know is bullsh!t. Ben admitted to Juliet that he finds the most vulnerable part of a person, and exploits it. With John, the choice is obvious, and the kidnapping had to happen. Locke then turns around and cons Sawyer into following him into the jungle. The Others are staring at John, explaining that they have been waiting for him for a long time. Ben is starting to get a bit megalomaniacal when he orders the kidnapping of all pregnant women from the beach. Ben sets up a power play to embarrass Locke, who can’t kill his father. Richard tips off Locke about Ben’s motives, says that Locke is special, and read Sawyer’s file. According to Richard, Ben has been wasting the Other’s time with his schemes, like fertility. Locke and Sawyer go to the Black Rock, Sawyer gets the letter ripped up in his face, and strangles the original Sawyer. The Losties are keeping Naomi in a tent and away from Jack.. Naomi lies when she says she was hired by Penny. Actually, I might have answered my own question from earlier. Naomi was carrying the photo as a decoy for her true mission: working with Abbadon, working for Charles Widmore. But how did they get the coordinates for the island, other than Penny’s Arctic station. Did Widmore have his own tracking station somewhere, or did Penny tell her father? Curious.

I have issues with distances on this island. They makes things out to be further than they really are. At one point, I got the impression that Sayid walked for days before finding the cable on the beach, but it was only an 8 hour walk as he learned later. The caves were only a mile from the beach. Let’s see, that about a 15-20 minute walk, right? It’s not even a dense jungle, so walking is fairly easy. So why does it sometimes take 3 days to reach Otherville, and half a day other times. Why do they spend all day hiking somewhere, build a campfire, and then start in the morning again, when something is only 2 miles away. Ben told Goodwin that the Tailies were only an hour away from Dharmaville. Everything is very close together, but it’s made to seem they are far apart. This sloppy writing stinks and I don’t like it. Two miles of traveling in a sparse jungle does not take all day. I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t. It’s not a rain forest. It’s a Hawaiian jungle. On that note, why such rapid day to night shifts? One second it’s high noon, and the next scene it’s the middle of the night. Let’s camp out on the beach until day breaks. Then it is bright sunshine and they are barely starting to move. I’m sorry, but I find the rapid day/night as part of the continuity problems like the clocks, the fridge, the polar bear paintings, etc. Different loops, same scene, slight differences. I can’t help but get an overall sense of these issues as I go through all these episodes, things that just become an obvious pattern. I follow fine details in every day activities. This is just part of the overall pattern that I’m seeing from so many episodes in so little time. But I just don’t have time to examine every scene, as I am trying to steam through these shows before Season 6 starts. One more month.

The Ben flashback is one of the more important episodes in Season 3 and LOST history. Ben’s mother dies in childbirth, no doubt spurring his obsession with fertility on the island. Ben and Roger arrive on island because of Horace. Ben sees his mother a couple of times. A drunken Roger Linus tells Ben happy birthday and it is your fault your mother is dead. I have to admit, Roger rules. Ben is told by his mother that it’s not time yet, Benjamin. Clearly, this was Smokie at the pylons, being his mother. But, didn’t at one point Ben see Smokie mom right outside his house in the barracks. How did Smokie get past the pylons? Ben, soon after, meets ageless Richard in the jungle, and is told to be patient. Years later, the evil genius that is Ben has worked his way up in the Dharma organization to be a workman. This is bothering me a bit. If Ben gets shot in the future by Sayid, is taken to the Others, the incident happens, then is accepted back by Dharma, and then purges Dharma, doesn’t it seem that Dharma is a bit too trusting to let all that happen with Ben? He isn’t an outcast? More on that in Season 5, I guess. Ben kills Locke, something that Locke was unable to do, and apparently ascends to leader of the Others in the near future, with dead bodies everywhere in Dharmaville. Since Ben was with the Others and taking orders from Charles Widmore when he took Alex, and Danielle was on the island 16 years, the purge must have happened more than 16 years ago, but more recent than 1977 since that is the year of the Jack, Kate, Hurley in Dharma. In present day, Locke comes back with the body, much to Ben’s shock. An argument about Jacob ensues. After beating down Mikhail, Locke demands an audience with Jacob. Locke accuses Ben of putting on a show and that Jacob really doesn’t exist. Which we later learn is half right. The “Help Me” scene was creepy and nicely done. Ben shoots Locke and leaves him for dead in the Dharma ditch, but Ben only shot him in the spot where Locke’s kidney was supposed to be, so it was clear that Locke wasn’t going to die.

Based on the intelligence provided by double agent Juliet, Jack spent a moment trying to figure out what intelligence meant before devising a plan to deal with the Others when they arrive. “dynamite go big boom and bad man ouchie” We learn about the Looking Glass hatch, that is jamming signals on the island. If Charlie dies, Claire gets rescued. Karl joins the Losties and warns the Losties that the Others are coming a day early. Ben, crazier than a sh!thouse rat, demands all women be abducted and men shot if they get in the way. Ben is the worst Viking ever. Charlie saves Nadia from a mugging showing once again how interconnected these characters are. Charlie surfaces at the Looking Glass to meet Bonnie and Greta. The writers apparently decide to separate all the couples on the island at the end of Season 3 in various scenarios: Claire/Charlie, Rose/Bernard, Jin/Sun, Alex/Karl, Juliet/Jack, Kate/Sawyer, Hurley/tub of ranch dressing.

Jack is on top of a bridge ready to jump, I have my New Year’s party favors ready to make some noise, and he doesn’t do it. For fock’s sake. This guy is shaking more than a maraca on Cinco De Mayo while balancing on a 6 inch ledge in spiraling winds and doesn’t fall, when later he is knocking over charts and walking into furniture. Naomi shows Jack how the phone works in case something happens to her. Widmore course correction and Naomi knew? Ben figures out Juliet betrayed them via Charlie. Jack sees Sarah in the hospital, but Sarah tells him it would be inappropriate to drive his injured, hero self to his home. Well, we have established that Sarah has the heart the size of a macadamia nut, just a soul crushing monster, but give the poor idiot a ride home. We get it. It’s a flash forward. You know he was on the island; he’s been through a lot. You cheated on him. You divorced him. Now you’re pregnant. Jack just wants a ride home. If I didn’t know any better, Ms Hawking or Charles Widmore put her up to it just to get Jack on the island in the first place, and to return. Hell, if it can happen in The Truman Show, why not here? Bernard sings like a canary, and tells the Others the entire plan, what he ate for breakfast, and Rose’s favorite sexual positions. Juliet and Sawyer head back to the beach; Juliet informs us that they were building a runway on the Hydra island. Jack kisses Juliet, and 10 minutes later tells Kate he loves her. I find myself hoping that Smokie pops out of some bushes and gives Jack the ‘ole Mr Eko secret handshake. Ugh. It’s like watching a Shakespeare play be chock full of “To be or not to be….I don’t like bees.” This better have a Romeo and Juliet ending where all these clowns die. I drink the poison milkshake, I drink it all up. Hurley is told for the second time in the day that he is too fat to help. On the bright side, that is considered a good day for Susan Boyle. If I was on the beach during the pilot episode, and saw something clanking and whooting and knocking down trees coming towards me, and turned to see Susan Boyle on a rescue boat with a cooler full of beer and 20 million dollars, without hesitation I would shake some dry rub on my head and run right at the monster, screaming here comes dinner. I guess I should have been more clear. The SMOKE monster. Richard is openly questioning Ben’s decision. Ben blusters to Mikhail that Yes, Jacob told me to lie to my people, we are under assault. We are seeing the Ben lying about Jacob strategy in full swing. Locke wakes up in the pit, gets ready to kill himself, when you hear whispering, no clanking, but whispering, then taller ghost Walt, “you have work to do”. This is one of the opportunities where X could have taken over Locke’s body, sooner than the usual assumption of when his body came back during the Ajira flight. It’s going to take some careful viewing the next two seasons to see just how different Locke acts from this point forward. I mean, he eventually shows up at the radio tower. How did he know he needed to go there?

Ben informs Jack that if he phones the boat, every single person on the island will be killed. Well, eventually, a lot of people died. And Ben may have been looking at self preservation. But the reality is that Ben was right to warn Jack, and Jack may have put the dominoes in motion for the break in the Loop by making the phone call. Jack beats up Ben, and I feel complete indifference. Wow. At what point did Jack’s character become so……unlikable. I can’t say from the pilot episode. Maybe it was the Live together, die alone speech. Just not likable. I know he is dumb too, but I’m just working on the likeable thing here. “I didn’t kill Ben, because I want him to see us get off the island and to know he failed.” This sounds really douchy. Something Dr Evil would say to Austin Powers just before trying to kill him and failing miserably. It’s campy, not poignant. Jack tells Tom that he is going to kill him. Please, make the bad man stop talking. I don’t feel so good. I’m cringing so much my eyes hurt. Hugo runs over some Others, Sawyer shoots Tom. Mikhail kills Bonnie, Greta, and blows up Charlie’s window view. I really don’t see the necessity for the drowning. First of all, it’s not a big deal if the hatch gets flooded. You walk out to the platform, swim down and across a few yards, and let gravity pull you up. The bends? Whatever. Charlie decided that he wanted to die to save Claire and Aaron. Fine. But the shame of it is, unless the freighter directly led to ending the Loop, it was pointless. Penny knew nothing about the boat. “Who’s Naomi?” Charlie’s last thought, when he passed along “Not Penny’s boat” to Desmond must have been that he had died for the wrong reason, and actually may have brought enemies to the island by sacrificing his life. His death might/would lead to the deaths of others, possibly Claire and Aaron. His life ends in failure. Well, certainly, it may have led to Claire’s death, as we still have no idea why she was in Jacob’s cabin, and whether she is alive. So Charlie died, Jack made a bad choice, and every red shirt on the island died, along with just about everybody on the freighter, and some major characters. Or Penny lied to Charlie, in which case Penny is evil. When you look back on it, Charlie’s death was a mistake made by Charlie in every sense of the word. Charlie died for nothing. Anyway, as Ben is horrified that the call is going to be made, Locke strolls out of the jungle and knifes Naomi. Ben’s bug eyed expression at Locke being alive was something that I completely overlooked the first time around. But Ben was vanquished at this point. He had lost all control over activity on the island, the only thing in the world that he cared about. Jack shows us that it was a flashforward, meets Kate at the airport, and wails “We have to go back, Kate.” Go jump off a bridge.