6.2 LA X: Part Two

As I was wading through the replay of the two season opening episodes on the On Demand option on Comcast cable, I was harshly reminded of the perils of rewatching episodes of this show and being at the mercy of programming. The commercials. It’s not that there are many commercials, much fewer than the original LOST broadcasts on ABC. But it’s the same focking commercials, over and over and over again. The loops are out to get me. Apparently, there is some stupid romantic comedy, When in Rome, for which I saw no less than 30 commercials for in a span of an hour and a half. I want nothing more than to have these people gathered in a wedding hall, dancing and laughing and partying and having their inane conversations. Little do they know that a tractor trailer is speeding down the road, and the driver is so busy texting pictures of his genitals to some waitress he met the other day, and promptly loses control of the vehicle. The gasoline truck plows right into the wedding reception, killing hundreds, wounding everybody else. The rest of the movie is a clinical exercise in putting out the fire, identifying bodies and random appendages, leading to autopsies and many, many burial services.

Hurley has taken off his Dharma pajamas and is sporting a very red shirt. Oh, oh. You know what that means. Hurley is probably going to die soon. I say probably, because Cuse and Lindelof promised that Hurley would never be killed during the series. But I don’t trust them entirely, like the MIB. Most of the Losties have now cast aside their Dharma gear. Sawyer has made up his mind to bury Juliet, and when Kate offers her assistance, Sawyer tells her to beat it and that he no intention of following them afterwards and still manages to mix in a pissed off stare at Jack. Sawyer has finally had enough crap from Jack and Kate. As Sayid is taken to the Temple wall, I have to wonder how a structure so big, surrounding a sizable piece of land, was not discovered or known about by anyone but Jin or Rousseau, outside of the Others. I mean, the island isn’t that big where after months of wandering around, you would think somebody would have accidently found the Temple walls and wondered what it could be. Same goes for Dharma. They must have known about the Temple. I guess this had to be part of their truce agreement with the Others, that the Temple was off limits. They enter the tunnels, and find Montand of the Frenchies, still missing an arm. Did Ben notice this guy when they went into the tunnels earlier? Probably didn’t care. They carefully maneuver around the Ben hole, hear whispers, and Kate Jack Hurley Jin Sayid are captured. So, the Others, sworn followers of Jacob, are sharing the same tunnel as the Smoke Monster, which may or may not be MIB. How does this make sense?

The marshal escorts Kate to the bathroom. Of course, Kate starts to use her stolen Jack pen to try to free herself from the handcuffs. The marshal inexplicably chooses this moment to ignore his prisoner, one that has escaped his clutches time and time again, has called him on the phone to mock him, a very prized prisoner that the marshal has been obsessed with. He turns to wash his face, in effect turning his back to the prisoner. He makes no effort to take a few steps back to see if Kate is actually using the toilet by seeing her pants around her ankles, which would be difficult to pull down and pull up in handcuffs to begin with. Nope, the marshal is oblivious. Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention him in the last episode diatribe that he is dead on the island and alive on the plane now, which is unexpected. Finally, when marshal dumdum realizes something fishy is going on after stepping on a pen spring, he draws his gun. Um, no. Well, he at least gets out of the way of a possible swinging door to confront his prisoner. Um, no. He actually put his head up against the stall door. This is the most idiotic officer of the law I’ve ever seen. Roscoe P Coltrane could teach you a few lessons. As Kate kicks open the door and knocks out marshal pudding for brains, I groan. Kate is going to run again, and I just want her to run in front of a tractor trailer. Sawyer gives Kate a bit of an assist in the elevator in avoiding security. One crook helping another crook. Juliet is buried, and Sawyer demands Miles to do his ghost whispering thing. Sawyer wants to be helpful, so he throws Miles face first onto the grave. I have no idea why Miles says “it doesn’t work that way” other than for dramatic effect. Of course it works that way. We’ve seen Miles talk to Naomi, Karl, Rousseau and many others after they recently passed away. If you recall….
Season Six Preview: A Look Back on Season Five Part Two
“My best guess is that Miles and Smokie have similar abilities.”
This was a reference to Miles’ ability to read the minds of the dead, scanning their memories and thoughts. Smokie is able to scan the minds of the dead too, as it is able to manifest itself to mirror the thoughts and mannerisms of such characters. Although Miles can’t manifest, as far as we know, when Miles is trying to read Juliet’s dead mind, we can hear a very distinct yet very quick burst of noise that is exactly the same as Smokie makes when it appears. A clacking or mechanical whirring noise, something ratcheting up, and Miles suddenly is able to listen to Juliet. “It worked!!” Sawyer: what worked? Well, what Sawyer fails to realize is among the very first things Juliet said after Sawyer reached her in the Swan ditch is “it didn’t work”. Here, Juliet is directly contradicting that conclusion. The lingering questions are how did Juliet conclude “it worked” before dying, as this was the important thing she was trying to tell Sawyer. Has she crossed over into some other plane of existence where she is alive and well and more than happy to dispense nuggets like this to cheer up Sawyer, which it didn’t. Sawyer is too full of rage to recognize what just happened. The Other Others take the tunnel explorers through what appears to be shoddy cellar doors and bring them into the presence of The Temple. Sure, I could go off on a riff about how awful Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom movie was, because it did suck ass. But instead, let’s focus on something I’ve been ranting like a lunatic about for 3 or 4 years now. There was no way Ben’s Others could have kidnapped Tailies on the first night on the island. Goodwin had yet to compile his list. Therefore, I’ve been convinced of Other Others on the island, people working independent of the Others. And here they are, semi independent, the hardcore Other Others, staunch followers of Jacob. But this isn’t the first time we’ve seen them. When Jin and Mr Eko were hiding in the bushes in Season Two, these dirty, barefoot ragamuffins walked by, dragging a teddy bear behind them. When the ridiculous Jack tattoo episode was careening out of control and finding it’s way into my Hate Locker, some of these folks showed up for Juliet’s trial for shooting Pickett and allowing Kate and Sawyer escape the Hydra island. But Cindy and the kids looked cleaned up and downright spiffy. Not now. They look worse than homeless.

Jack is called to the courtesy desk. Not only did Christian’s coffin not make it onto the plane, the airline has no idea where it is. It’s simple competence like this that instills confidence in passengers that any terrorist with a bomb will get caught every time and there is no threat of your plane ever exploding. I suppose Christian didn’t make the reset, like Shannon and the rest that are missing. Neither MIB nor Jacob need Christian anymore; his usefulness is gone. Hurley, Jack, Kate, Sayid, Jin are confronted by two people for which we have no names. It’s bad enough I have to type Man in Black, but know I have to figure out what to call these two clowns for now. Fine. Iron Chef and John Lennon. Cindy vouches for the prisoners, saying they were on the first plane with her. Now, by “first” plane, is Cindy referring to Oceanic 815 and Ajira 316 as two planes that reached the island although Ajira is technically on Hydra island, or the first Oceanic loop and that they were on the first iteration? Iron Chef says to shoot them. Well, these Others are a bunch of thugs with a debilitating lack of imagination. When Ben told Alex, Karl, and Rousseau to head to the Temple, he knew they would kill Karl and Danielle. But Ben was also right in saying it was the last safe place left on the island for Alex. But, does this mean that Ben could boss around Iron Chef? The Chef can understand English, but doesn’t speak it. He uses John Lennon to translate. What a stupid plot point. Hurley name drops Jacob and then brings out the guitar case for show and tell. Inside is a rather large wooden Ankh, a symbol of key to life or eternal life in ancient Egyptian culture. The Iron Chef instinctively raises his hand to touch the Ankh necklace he has around his neck. He cracks the guitar case symbol open, and there is a paper within, a name list. The prisoners rattle off their names as if they were at a meet and greet. If your friend Sayid dies, we are all in a lot of trouble.

Jin is held up in customs with a watch and a huge wad of cash. Maybe, just maybe, Jin was planning on leaving Sun, a twist from what happened last time. Nah. You have to assume the back stories are still somewhat consistent, but once on the plane, all bets are off. Thus far, Hurley being lucky is the only significant change that I’ve seen from the characters. Sun has a chance to save Jin a boatload of problems by speaking some English. Although the Sun we’ve come to know would be able to handle such a situation without batting an eye, this unveil version of Sun is still hesitating in trying to destroy Jin’s life completely. They are inside the Temple. The spring water is looking murky. Murky from being red. Red, most likely due to the death of Jacob, and his blood is flowing through this facsimile to the Holy Grail, a healer of all physical human maladies. The Iron Chef cuts his hand, dips it into the water, and is surprised to see that his hand did not heal. Well, as surprised as that guy gets, because he doesn’t seem to change his expression much. It fluctuates between distain, disgust, and snarky. Jack takes the blame for Sayid’s condition. Jack has certainly been humble and apologetic lately. Considering how much he has bungled so far, he has a lot more of the same in the future. There are risks. Jack: no problem. They remove the Dharma wear from Sayid, wasting precious seconds for a befuddling wardrobe adjustment. Still, not as bad as the Losties wasting an hour trying to rescue Juliet while Sayid was bleeding out. The Others hold Sayid under water while using an egg timer so that they could know exactly the moment when he was cooked. He is a chef, after all. He can also kick some ass as he easily deflects Jack’s attempt to do some brawling. Sayid drowns, and is carried out of the water in a pose similar to Jesus Christ on the cross. Which is a foreshadowing of a resurrection. Jack is not willing to simply accept that Sayid is dead, and recreates the Charlie hanging scene. When they cut down Charlie in Season One, Jack was giving CPR for a while and then started clobbering Charlie on the chest, caving in all his ribs and collapsing every internal organ while trying to get his heart beating. Kate told him to stop, but Jack kept going. So, now Jack is giving Sayid CPR, Kate tells him to stop, and Jack…stops. Well, that ended up a bit different.

Kate is making her escape to the cab stand, but Neil “Frogurt” yells at her and tells her that there is a line. Geez, Neil has gotten more exposure in this episode than in the entire series up to this point. All he was known for was yelling at Bernard after a time jump and then getting hit in the chest with a flaming arrow. In the background, Hurley is talking business, about expanding his franchises into Australia and the Tustin inventory report. Previously, on LOST, we found out that Hurley owned the box company in Tustin that Locke used to work for, and most likely currently works for. Kate jumps into the same cab as Claire, pulls out a gun, and tells the driver to go. I didn’t notice whether Claire was 8 months pregnant or not, as the camera never panned down below her neck, but if she is, then Kate just can’t stop herself from kidnapping Aaron every chance she gets. Cindy and the two brats from the Tail section Zack and Emma bring some gruel for Jack Twist and the rest of the orphans. Sawyer and Miles are added to the mix, as they were captured by the Others, but not until Sawyer took out 4 of them and then get bashed in the head with a rock. Considering how well the Others are in sneaking around and grabbing people, taking out that many is fairly impressive. Sawyer has turned his insanity into productive powers. Hurley gains an exclusive interview with the bonsai trimming Iron Chef.
We get it. He’s Japanese. I suppose we will be seeing some sushi and origami any moment now for even more reinforcement. IC: what did Jacob tell you? H: he told me to come here, save Sayid. The less than humble Iron Chef apparently doesn’t like the taste of English on his tongue. Well, Mr Self Important, Hurley is going to put you in your place. H: Jacob’s dead. Panic in the streets. Get to your posts. Pour ash around the Temple. Send a rocket warning. Steal a TV from Best Buy. Grab a tub full of Heinekens. Set a cop car on fire. Take a pillow, put it over the face of your buddy until he stops breathing, toss a sink out the window, and escape the facility. There’s a tiger in the bathroom and Mike Tyson isn’t going to like that at all. It’s to keep “him” out, and by him they mean MIB. Ben has some questions for the MIB. What are you? You’re the monster? You used me to kill Jacob? This puts Ben in an awkward position, as he is the one that is typically manipulating. Actually, it’s been awkward for Ben since he came back to the island. Almost like a reset, but the opposite is true for Ben, like with Hurley being lucky, but Ben is now a flunky. Therefore Ben is in a state of shock and awe. MIB goes on a rant about John Locke. The last thought in Locke’s head before he died was “I don’t understand….” John was a very sad man, he was weak, pathetic, irreparably broken. As MIB is dipping in and out of the light of where he is sitting, his face is contorting and shifting between Locke’s innocence and MIB’s fiery fury. Ben looks like a completely broken man. MIB continues to pile on. Locke was the only one who realized how pitiful of a life he left behind. This is so true. Just about everybody else that landed on the island is just no dam good. Who is an innocent, besides Locke? They are all bad people. Hurley? Even he killed some people when a deck collapsed, as was discussed with his therapist when he was in the nut hut. Locke might have been a good guy, but he's dead. Desmond killed Inman. Daniel put Theresa's mind into never never land. Who's left? These are bad people with bad lives, and can you think of any of them that hasn't killed someone at some point, or did bad stuff? And they were/are just clamoring to get off the island and go back to the bad stuff. Locke really needs to get some validation in Season 6. MIB is just running him down, parading around as Locke, and that body is just lying on the beach. Locke needs some kind of revenge. But that is a Hollywood ending, and this show is not following any blue print I’ve ever seen. Also, MIB talks as if he is the protector of the island. While Jacob seems to be more of a people person, MIB speaks of tradition and the island. There are so many things we still don’t know about MIB and Jacob, but I don’t think either one is all that good. What we have is a battle between two bad guys, at least that’s the way I’m viewing them at this point. Two bad guys, and a cast of characters that are bad people. Ben: What do you want? MIB: I want to go home. MIB twists his face into a mask of pure evil. How cool was that? Now, MIB wanting to go home could mean a couple of different things. The most likely answer is The Temple. The Other Others are preparing themselves as if that is exactly where he is headed now that Jacob is dead and apparently not protecting them anymore. A more intangible answer is the Temple, but in the sense of a similarity to Dogma, the Kevin Smith movie, where Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are fallen angels who are convinced by Jason Lee’s character to follow through on a loophole created by Catholic dogma, where if they pass through the doors of a certain church in New Jersey, they will find a way to get back into Heaven after being cast out by God. However, as existence is founded on the principle that God is infallible, their success would prove God wrong and thus undo all creation. The last scion and two prophets are sent by the Voice of God to stop them. Can you see the parallels of MIB finding a loophole, wanting to go to The Temple, and wipe out creation, or the island, or end the game he and Jacob are playing and sacrificing people for? The people out to stop MIB are the Oceanic 815 people that Jacob selected. The scenario could change by next week, but I thought it was a very familiar concept. Sure, I’m constantly comparing LOST to various movies or TV shows, but some concepts do get recycled. Such as, I wouldn’t mind seeing Salma Hayek dancing around a stripping pole on the island like she did in Dogma, which in itself is recycled from From Dusk Till Dawn, where Salma Hayek dances around a stripping pole in a vampire club.

Hurley tells Sayid that he can stop by anytime for a chat since he is dead, dude. Hurley also has a pottery wheel and a cassette tape of the Righteous Brothers. Hurley turns to Miles, and asks, “What, dude?” Miles says “Nothing”. Double meaning. He is telling Hurley to leave him alone. But, Miles can read the thoughts of the dead. And, he apparently can’t read the thoughts of Sayid. Sayid is not truly dead yet. You know, I need to back up a second. Jack gave up rather quickly on trying to revive Sayid. Kate, who has zero medical training, tells Jack to give up. Jack has been practicing medicine for a long time, and he takes the advice of some newbie nurse. Balderdash. Mother Kate Teresa is trying to take care of a wounded Sawyer. Kate: I’m so sorry. Notice, when Kate said this, it was with a completely unsympathetic facial expression, as if she had to spit out poison or something similar in distastefulness. Sawyer is still full of vinegar, and gives Kate the answer that she wants to hear. “I ain’t going to kill Jack” Sawyer wants Jack to live with his guilt. The camera pans to Jack, who is deep in thought, or at least attempting to think, as I can hear the merry go round music coming out of his ears. Jack and Locke are both putting in claims for missing items, Locke a suitcase full of knives which he had on the island, and a dead father, which Jack lost on the island. L: they didn’t lose your father, they just lost his body. That may be true in some sense, as it applies to Locke himself in 2007. But I didn’t care for the Faith vs. Science yet again. Yawn. Locke says his condition is irreversible, and this time Jack pulls the Faith vs. Science card the opposite direction, gives Locke his business card. Richard and the Others see the flare, cementing the fact that the Losties are in 2007 at the Temple. MIB walks out, and Richard yells at everybody not to shoot, as it seems Richard knows the rules of engagement with MIB. Frank, who still refuses to button up his shirt, pulls out the cheesy: I’m still not believing it. Frank is to comedy what Tom Arnold is to comedy. MIB: Richard, it’s good to see you out of those chains. Two possible interpretations. While a popular scenario is that Richard was on the Black Rock, and I’ve held that belief at times, and since it was a slave ship, Richard may have been on that boat. However, all of the Others keep saying that Richard has been around for a really long time. When I think of a significant amount of time, I don’t know if 150 years cuts it, since the Black Rock set sail from England to Siam in 1845. Sure, you can add in loop time, but that still doesn’t change perception. Knowing that many different civilizations have existed on the island, including Egyptian, and there was plenty of slavery going on in the Middle East for millenniums, is it a stretch to think Richard was a slave a couple of thousand years ago? We really need some kind of back story for Richard. Richard: You? MIB: Me!!! And then MIB promptly kicks Richard’s ass. MIB turns to the Others: I’m very disappointed in all of you. MIB picks up the fallen Richard, carries him off like a boar, and walks by the corpse of Locke without a a glance. So, is MIB disappointed in the Others for choosing to serve Jacob’s wishes? Is MIB pulling a power play and going to pretend to be Jacob. Nobody has seen Jacob, except for Ben, who is scared. Richard can’t demand an audience with Jacob, so has Richard even seen him? Can Jacob manifest himself like MIB can, or is this a unique property? So many questions, and no answers yet. In the Temple, Jack is ordered to go to a meeting, and I know exactly what that feels like, especially late in the afternoon and I’ve run out of tea. A scuffle starts up, but ends quickly as Sayid rises up and “What happened?” This is something very different from what we have seen before. It seems that Sayid is alive, but is dead. I think there is very little chance that Jacob is somehow controlling or physically manipulating Sayid like some kind of Being John Malkovich scenario, a puppeteer pulling the strings. MIB has never physically possessed a body. He or Smokie have manifested or shape shifted into a dead person’s form, have been able to do physical things like Dave throwing a shoe at Hurley or biting Nikki as a killer spider. You can plainly see Locke’s body on the sand, so MIB does not require an actual body. Why would Jacob? No, Jacob is dead, and I can’t see him possessing a secondary character like Sayid. A Locke or Jack could be worthy of being possessed, but not Sayid. You have to think about what specific talents do these Jacob selected people have? Well, I will have a hard time figuring out some of their abilities, and I think you know who I am talking about, but Sayid is an assassin. A willing stooge, ready to do the bidding of his boss, like he did for Ben. A killer. Jacob needs this skill. Why? Because he needs to kill the Smoke Monster. And this means that MIB is not the Smoke Monster, but they are just buddies. Yes, Sayid is now the undead because I believe he is being groomed to fight homicidal, genocidal, school recital puff of smoke. If Sayid now has special abilities, that would be a fight for the ages, as long as the CGI is better than the crappy underwater scene of the island the last episode. And if Sayid kills Smokie, he will be the greatest warrior in the history of the world, other than the mothers who trample security guards on Black Friday when the local Walmart doors open up at 3:00 AM. Or Sayid was taking a nap and just woke up and is normal. Either way.