Monday, March 29, 2010

6.9 Ab Aeterno

Random thoughts. My computer caught a bad virus, delaying this writeup by a few days. Much to my surprise, it was AIDS. Not to my surprise was the fact that my computer is dating more than me. This writeup/recap/mess is a bit rushed and not well thought out. Which isn’t much of a change. This was surely a crossroads episode. We’ve been getting some really disappointing and sometimes downright awful episodes this season. Going in with the high expectation for a Richard episode, I was worried about the rest of the series if this episode flopped. I was very relieved and very pleased at how much I really enjoyed this, well, epic episode. This was simply spectacular. Richard’s acting was terrific, his sad sack story was actually interesting and almost moving, and his reunion of sorts with the ghost of his wife was not as over the top as I thought it might have been, especially upon repeated viewings. Of course, the best part of this episode was there was absolutely no flashsideways crap. What a breath of fricking fresh air away from that cesspool of suck. It was like watching a brilliant movie, not a sh!!ty one like that Sandra Bullock football movie about a home invasion and how she was stabbed 173 times and bleed out on a football field or at least that’s what I’ve heard. I had enough of the Tiger Woods crap, and now its Sandra Bullock crap. Who cares? The coverage stinks. The female anchor turns to the male anchor, Gene, tell me all men are not like this. No, Helen, we are not. Hahahaha. Up next, the weather. Shut up, you focktwads. How about an equally appropriate question? Hey, Helen. Are all women money grubbing sluts who will have sex with obviously married men and ruin marriages for 15 minutes of fame? No, Gene, but I bet you are sooooo fired for asking. And if you criticize my wardrobe, I’ll have you arrested. Nope, it’s a sexist society, and we can’t mention that porn stars that sleep with married men can be EQUALLY guilty too. We are all doomed as a society. If a candidate is to take over for Jacob, do they get superhero powers like granting immortality and manipulating lives and acting like a d!ck, or should they already have some type of powers. Of all the candidates left, the only noticeable powers are Hurley’s ability to talk to dead people and Kate’s ability to piss me off. Ab Aeterno translated from Latin is “from the beginning of time”, of which certain concepts in this episode seemed to have originated from. I’ve speculated the LAX timeline is an epilogue, what happens when the island stuff is over. What if it’s a prologue, showing us what happens before Jacob got involved in the Losties lives. Jacob goes back in time to recruit these people to help on the island after they have lived to this point in their lives. Or to really simply this, the LAX is what happens when the MIB escapes the island and darkness spreads in the world, and Jacob needs to stop him by bringing people to the island just before it happens. Now I’m getting confused. I need to think this through a bit more. More on this stuff in the future.

We start with an extended scene from last season’s finale, of Jacob visiting Ilana in a Russian hospital. Ilana has her face wrapped in bandages and has been preparing for a trip to the island by bobbing for fish filets in the hot oil cooker. Jacob tells her that she is to protect 6 people, the remaining candidates on This Island Has No Talent. The Jacobites are sitting around a campfire at night at the original Losties camp. They are finally comparing notes since they have run out of excuses not to do so They are candidates to replace Jacob. Well, Sun said that, and claimed to be one herself. She is either making a huge assumption that she is a candidate or she is desperately trying to say something other than Jin. She has not said Jin yet, but I can see her doodling the name Jin in the sand with a stick. I want that stick to accidently end up in her eye socket. What do we do next? Hurley speaks up and says that he wants to do a cannonball. Frank wants to braid his chest hair. Well, a couple of episodes ago Richard said Jack seemed to have all the answers. But he is just as dumfounded as usual. As the extended scene with Jacob and Ilana continues, Ilana is no longer bandaged up and her face is completely healed. Um, that was fast. Did Jacob touch her and heal her? And how was she injured to begin with? The mission is to bring the candidates to the Temple, which Ilana ended up failing spectacularly. Ask Richardus, as he will know what to do next. Richard, Ricardos Ricardus, make up your minds. This guy has had more name changes than Prince. Last season Ilana first met Richard and called him Ricardo. Which is inconsistent with what she was told from Jacob. Now, it is Ricardus again. Anyway, Richie laughs like a lunatic. A bright giggle of madness. That must be what I look like when somebody says they like Jack. Richard: I have no idea. I had to rewind to make sure Jack didn’t just say that. Shockingly, no. Richmeister, making copies, goes on a rant about everything that Jacob ever said was a lie. He has a secret. Oddly enough, it has nothing to do with kissing John Travolta just before boarding a plane. You’re dead, we’re all dead, we’re not on an island, we are in Hell. Right on cue, jumping out of the bushes were members of the Westboro Baptist Church, ready with their picket signs. Richinator is ready to stop listening to Jacob, and it’s time to listen to someone else. Well, seems that Jack’s whacky dynamite trick in the Black Rock didn’t have a lasting effect on Richzinsky.

Richard runs off into the jungle, and Ben is jealous of the way Richard runs. Ben would be jealous of the way a one legged duck runs. Ilana wants to follow, since Jacob told her Richard knows what to do. What she doesn’t seem to grasp is that Jacob also did an end run around you by sending the Losties to the Temple without your protection, so who knows what Jacob is doing anymore. It’s as if he lost faith in Ilana, or is just changing plans willy nilly. Jack, of all people, tries to talk some sense into her. A better choice may have been Charles Manson. Richard has gone crazy and if he cared about what Jacob said, he wouldn’t have been talking about following someone else. I believe this is the concept behind Amway. Jack is seemingly respecting the choice, there is that concept again, that Richard has made. Jack is confused about who Richard is going to follow. Here is comes, this week’s version. It’s Locke. But Locke is dead. Well it’s not exactly Locke. Every single week, we have this exact same dialogue. Every. Single. Week. Are we finally done? Does anybody on the island, anybody at all not realize that Locke is really MIB. Anybody? Can we put this to rest? Hurley is speaking in Spanish to no one in particular, which is lot like my daily travels on public transportation, but insists he is not talking to Jacob. Jack accuses him of lying. Hmm, does Jack not trust Hurley any more? Hurley shows some backbone and curtly explains that this isn’t about you, Jack. Of course, Hurley was talking to Isabella’s ghost. Being that MIB’s manifestations are visible to other people, and Hurley can communicate with the dead, this is the real deal, a ghost. I suppose ghosts can find the island more easily than the living. Ben thinks Ilana chasing after Richard would be a waste of time because Richard doesn’t know anything. And we also saw how Ben was able to outmaneuver Ilana in the same situation recently, and Richard knows the jungle a lot better than Ilana. Richard looked the same when Ben was twelve as he does now, as told to Frank. Richard is galloping through a country side, specifically Tenerife, the Canary Islands, in 1867. The Canary Islands are under Spanish rule, so we get a bunch of subtitles through out the episode, which doesn’t bother me as I usually turn on subtitles or closed captioning even when a program is in English; however, at times, characters continue to talk while we get no translations whatsoever for what they said. Numerous times. Richard ties up his horse and enters something that looks a bit like Jacob’s cabin. His wife Isabella is coughing up blood and Richard admonishes her for eating that blood pudding. If his wife is so ill, where was Richard all this time? I don’t think somebody is just going to wake up one day and start coughing blood. Seems like a prolonged illness. Richard gathers up all the money they have and the cross necklace of his wife and rides off to seek the assistance of a doctor, in the pouring rain. That seemed to be a rapid weather shift, since Richard arrived home in the bright sunshine. Richard rudely barges in on the doctor during supper time and is inconsiderate enough to drip water on this nice man’s floor. Richard is not making a good first impression. The doctor turns down an opportunity to ride half a day in a driving rainstorm to Richard’s house, but is gracious enough to offer medicine that will cure his wife. Richard offers his pittance of payment, and the benevolent doctor thinks Richard is most certain that he is a victim of a joshing and starts to look around for a hidden camera. Surely this is worth squat, tossing the cross aside. Richard desperately wrestles with the nice doctor over the medicine, shoving him neck first into a table, and killing him. Uh, oh, spaghettioes. As Richard sees that he has killed someone and the servant is now watching him; this scene seems to be reminiscent of Libby walking in on Michael after he has shot and killed Ana Lucia in the Swan hatch during Season 2. Richard flees with the medicine and returns home to find Isabella deada. We need a Nelson Muntz Ha Ha right about now. Apparently the world’s most incredible cops are mere seconds behind Richard, barrel into the house to arrest him. They knew who he was and found the right house in the rain that quickly? Wow. A priest visits Richard in his prison cell. Richard has been self teaching himself English by reading the Bible and some handy Rosetta Stone cassettes. The book is open to a passage from Luke Chapter 4. This chapter of the New Testament featured the temptation of Christ by the devil in the desert, preaching a sermon in a synagogue, and performing miracles such as casting out demons from bodies. I wonder if we might have a precursor to MIB being cast out of Locke, but I doubt it. Anyway, we certainly see the temptation of Richard later on in this episode. Richard makes his confession. I beg you Father, for God’s will to not allow any more focking flashsideways into the story line. The priest stunned me with a “No. I cannot grant you absolution for murder” I don’t know what they are teaching in the schools nowadays, but religions do have forgiveness policies. The priest says that penance is required. I’m pretty sure Richard had several penances back at the doctor’s house, but they got scattered across the floor. So what’s the problem? But since Richard will be hung tomorrow, the devil awaits him in Hell. Or he could watch whatever movie On Demand has been featuring, playing 14 commercials per LOST episode, for the last 7 straight weeks, some stupid romantic movie about some unnamed Muppet looking girl on a polluted beach and her dad is home invaded and is stabbed 173 times and bleeds out on a football field or at least that’s what I’ve heard. Richard chooses wisesly. Yes, the devil awaits him in Hell.

Richard is blindfolded and led out to meet Mr Whitfield, a kindly man recruiting for vacation cruises to exotic destinations apparently. Or a slave trader. He checks Richard’s hands and teeth and squeezes his package, much like a father would of someone taking his teenage daughter out on a first date. Upon being asked whether he spoke English, Richard hesitated for a while, before finally answering yes. I could not fathom why the wait. Hanging, or go with this man. Then again, there is that basement scene in Pulp Fiction. Richard is sold off into slavery by the corrupt priest, to be property of Magnus Hanso. If you recall, Charles Widmore bought the journal of the first mate of the Black Rock at an auction during the Desmond time jumping episode in Season 4 Tovard Hanso sold the journal to the auction. Alvar Hanso founded the Hanso Foundation, which in turn started the Dharma Initiative. Small world. A massive storm at sea, the ship is flooding, and the slaves are struggling with their shackles and dish pan hands. One of the prisoners peeks out through the holes in the ship, and I would certainly be concerned about a boat with holes, and sees land that is being guarded by the devil, otherwise known as the statue Tawaret. The ship is swept up on a massive wave and hits the statue in the snout. There is a problem here. When we saw the Black Rock approaching the island in the Season 5 finale as Jacob and MIB sat together on the beach, it was bright sun shine, middle of the day, and the boat was just a couple of miles off shore. Now, in this latest version, the ship is still off the shore of the same exact part of the island, near the statue, and it is night time with hurricane like conditions. This is simply impossible. If you want to argue time shifts as you approach the island snow globe, like the freighter and Ajira plane, you can. But the freighter was originally about 40 miles off shore, and could not get all that closer without navigational equipment because of the reefs. You could barely see smoke from it when it blew up, as Juliet and Saywer showed us. The Ajira plane was coming with great speed from great distance. The Black Rock in Season 5 was close enough that you could throw a rock from the beach and knock off the captain’s hat. Either this is a major plot blunder, or two versions of the same exact scene. Loops. So, this crumbling wooden ship magically destroyed a sturdy looking statue and crashed a mile inland. I suppose we must suspend imagination. If the bits of the statue were to tumble into the water, the ship would strategically need to hit the Tawaret in the shins and have the body topple forward. Didn’t happen here. And I do not want to get into the speculation that MIB can manipulate weather with the snap of a finger, which could help devise an explanation. But it was night time, dammit. So explain that one, smart guy. We call this the plot of Speed 3: Sandra Bullock is a Zombie. She shipwrecks ashore of an island, drags the captain out onto a football field, and stabs him 173 times and he bleeds out on a football field or at least that’s what I’ve heard . Captain Hanso is indeed dead, without us ever seeing him on screen. Richard and his buddies yell for assistance. Whitfield strides down the steps and acts for all the world like he is infected. I got a weird feeling that this was a bit like the Frenchies arrival at LOST island and their tango with Smokie. Whitfield wastes little time in slashing and gutting the slaves on board. He reasons that since there are only 5 surviving officers, no fresh water, and limited supplies, if he freed the prisoners, it was only a matter of time before they came back and killed him. I found that last part very similar to MIB’s struggle with Jacob. If you free him, he will come back and kill you. It’s rather sad, considering the island is full of lakes and numerous creeks and waterfalls and wells, fresh water everywhere you look, but nobody bothered to explore just a bit. Whitfield never took a moment to look around. I’m sure some of these slain men were candidates, but their opportunity to prove themselves lasted as long as it takes to make microwave popcorn. We hear the monster noises, which to this day make me very happy. A ruckus is raised on deck, and there is a lot of smashing going on. We see a recreation of the air line pilot death scene from the pilot episode, as Whitfield is pulled out of the bowels of the ship and through the ceiling. The monster comes back, scans/judges Richard, and leaves.

Very blatantly, a blue butterfly flutters around the jungle and floats into the interior of the Black Rock. The blue butterfly symbolizes metamorphosis and change by a wish granter or malicious spirit. A sneaky foreshadowing to MIB and/or Jacob in dealing with Richard. Richard is still in his shackles, which is too bad, since it has started to rain, and water is falling to the interior of the ship, just out of reach. Now, somebody that isn’t stupid might have thought to take off his shirt and reach out with it to soak up some moisture so that you might quench your thirst. But choosing to die of thirst is certainly another alternative to survival tactics. Richard pries out a nail out of a wooden board, as it is vitally important that he is able to scrape Richard Wuz Here into the wall before he dies. Actually, Richard’s plight is very similar to Lloyd Henreid’s from the Stephen King book The Stand. As a rapidly spreading and extremely fatal virus kills off the entire population of a prison, Lloyd is left in his cell alone to die. Finally, at his most desperate and delirious hour, Randall Flagg, otherwise known as the Man In Black, comes along to free Lloyd. As a show of allegiance, the MIB gives Lloyd a black rock. Interesting connections, huh? Richard tries to use the nail to help him break out of his chains, but he has no luck. Richard has the misfortune of trying to escape his prison many years before getting a chance to watch Shawshank Redemption. Yes, another Stephen King reference. When Richard regains consciousness, he sees a boar eating a corpse, a fear the Losties had back in Season 1 just before they lit the fuselage to burn the bodies. The boar does some damage like one did on Sawyer in Season 1, and knocks over Richard which in turn flings the nail out of reach. Richard yells, “Wilson, Wilson, Willlllllsoooooon!!!” to the nail, and cries a little as he cannot reach it. I’m guessing Richard’s legs must be in chains, otherwise he could have reached the nail easily with his foot. As Richard falls in and out of consciousness, he is visited by the ghost of Abe Vigoda, which is odd since Abe is still alive, and Isabella. He is able to physically hug her, so in this case, this is the MIB manifesting himself based on the memories he scanned a little while ago inside Richard’s head. We are dead, both of us, we are in Hell. This is simply a case of the writers having some fun with us, as purgatory was a popular explanation of this series way back in Season 1, before the executive producers came out and insisted that the Losties are not in purgatory. Isabella claims that she is here to save Richard before the devil comes back. Isabella has looked into his eyes, and he is pure evil. An interesting way for MIB to describe himself. Both hear the noises of the monster on the deck of the ship. Now, we’ve had two situations where I thought there was sloppy writing and MIB was in 2 places at the same time. Well, maybe it wasn’t sloppy writing afterall, as MIB was on Hydra and Lost island at the same time in Season 5 as Christian and Locke, and then was MIB rounding up the candidates while purging the Ajirites at the same time. So, here we have Smokie and Isabella in 2 places at the same time. How do you kill a Multiplicity Smoke Monster? A trident? Go! Run! Isabella is so inspired by Richard’s words that she immediately runs up the stairs and straight at the monster. It’s like seeing a hungry Susan Boyle headed your way, and you just stand there, sprinkling salt on top of your head. The monster disappears again. Finally, MIB in the form we saw him in for the Season 5 finale comes down to where Richard is languishing in a puddle of his own drool. He must have just finished watching Dancing With the Stars. Hell is not pleasant. MIB touches Richard on the shoulder for a little while. Both MIB and Jacob really are into the touching thing. It’s as if MIB just shuffled across the carpet in his socks and he’s wearing a turtle neck sweater. Tee Hee. He can’t wait to taser someone with his finger. He gives Richard some water and informs him that he is a friend. R: Am I in Hell? MIB: Yes. So, MIB is again telling some of the truth, but not entirely. Richard is in his own personal Hell, a broken man on the verge of dying, a man who has seen a lifetime of tragedy in a matter of a few days. He probably deserves it too. Come on. Dripping water on some guy’s floor? The nerve. MIB confirms that he was not on the ship, that he has been here on the island a long time before the ship came. Although, probably not the only one; there must have been previous inhabitants on the island as a statue and Temple just don’t build themselves. Have you seen my wife? Fock, here we go again. The manipulation starts as the MIB agrees to help save Richard’s wife from the black smoke and wants to make a deal. After all, MIB understands the concept of wanting to be free. MIB: Hey, I found some keys in somebody’s pocket outside. And they are not Roger Workman’s. Who? Nevermind, Richard, inside joke. Richard needs to do a favor for MIB. Anything, anything. Bam, he is freed. It’s good to see you out of those chains Richard. These are the exact words spoken to Richard in 2007 outside the statue foot soon after the death of Jacob. Richard then goes “You?” and Locke goes “Me” before knocking him out and carrying him into the jungle. Richard at that moment realized that Locke was really MIB, the same man that freed him from the Black Rock, the very same Smokie that has been terrorizing the island. MIB picks up Whitney Houston and carries him off. Richard needs to save his strength since the only way out of Hell is to kill the devil. Or possibly a plane or submarine, if they are handy and have already been invented.

Richard is feasting on a roasted boar, which may be symbolic of animal sacrifice. I recall that MIB brought a freshly killed boar to Richard and the Others just before setting out to visit and subsequently kill Jacob at the foot last year. Repetition, so much repetition this season. MIB wants Richard to go to the statue, which he confirms has been smashed into pieces by the ship. MIB pulls out the same Roman sword Dogen gave to Sayid, and basically gives Richard the same instructions of “do not hesitate, if he has spoken to you, it is already too late”. Repetition. Although, Ben certainly spoke to Jacob before stabbing him, so why are these instructions so often repeated? Richard begins to doubt MIB and starts to question everything, becoming fairly difficult in the process. But how can I kill black smoke? MIB: I am the black smoke. Seems that the MIB doesn’t mind confessing that he is the black smoke; in fact, it almost seems like he is bragging. But you took Isabella? No, I arrived too late and the devil had already taken her and I couldn’t do anything. Gee, that’s a bit of bad luck. I bet she is bleeding on a football field. MIB: He betrayed me, took my body, took my humanity. This part I believe, as week by week we get revelations about the MIB back story, and I think it is perfectly reasonable to assume that MIB’s natural form now is black smoke, and if he appears as any person, it is due to finding their corpse or memory on the island. R: But you killed the officers on the ship. MIB is being illogical with Richard and finally has had enough. Look, if you want to see your wife again, you must kill the devil to get her back. The trump card. Richard continues to be stubborn. But murder is wrong; it is what brought me here. Again, MIB is swatting away the concerns. MIB: We can talk all day about what is right and wrong, but do you want to see your wife again? Yes, I do. This was a temptation of sorts, as first mentioned in the Chapter of Luke 4 from the New Testament. The devil was tempting Jesus, promising the world if only he would submit to the devil’s offers. Jesus repeatedly said no. Richard continually was tempted by the offer of being reunited with Isabella, and in the end, after many temptations, he finally said yes. So, Richard failed. As Richard emerges from the jungle, we see the main part of the Tawaret statue half submerged in the lagoon in front of the statue foot. The front door is wide open, and Richard creeps up with the knife, a recreation of a home security system commercial. Jacob sucker punches Richard and starts a beat down. While I don’t blame Jacob for thinking this was a shape shifting MIB coming to kill him, the sucker punch was a bit uncalled for. I suppose Jacob never met Richard before and never touched him, since Richard wasn’t on any list of candidates and therefore was a perfect stranger. Who gave you this? Richard: Where is my wife? I am slowly bashing my skull into a wall. R: the MIB said you are the devil, and if I want to see my wife again, I have to kill you, she’s dead, but I saw her. Jacob finally realizes the gambit being played and responds “that is not your wife.” Richard: I know I am dead and that I am in Hell. Jacob gets peeved and gives Richard the worst baptism since Andrea Yates. Boy, that was creepy and tasteless, but I think I’m dead and in Hell too. Richard is spitting out water as he proclaims that he wants to live. I really, really don’t understand the change in logic. Why does Richard want to live? For who? For what? Jacob wants to talk.

A beach fire with blankets and wine. Richard asks Jacob what is inside foot? No one comes in unless I invite them in, unless they also have a foot fetish, and then they have a party. The only person invited in to have an audience with Jacob is the leader of the Others, which was Locke and/or Ben at the time of the loophole when Jacob got stabbed. That seems to be a case builder for what exactly the loophole was. Are you the devil? No, I am Jacob, the one who brought you to this island. Why? Ah, this is a very key question. Hell, otherwise known as evil, malevolence, darkness, and Gloria Allred. Evil is like this bottle of wine. It is inside, swirling, unable to get out, but would spread if it escaped. The island is the cork, keeping darkness where it belongs. MIB believes everybody is corruptible because it is their very nature to sin. Jacob brings people to the island to prove him wrong; here the past doesn’t matter. OK, let’s take a breath here, since there is some heavy stuff. MIB is absolutely correct. Any religion, philosophy, logic tells us that people are inherently evil. They are absolutely predisposed to sin, and it takes unusual circumstances and belief to overcome it. Using Richard’s Catholicism as a starting point, most Christians believe that faith in Jesus dying for their sins gives them everlasting life in Heaven. But they alone cannot overcome their inherent nature to sin, they needed a substitute. In fact, by attempting to prove MIB wrong, Jacob is essentially trying to prove God wrong. And when you prove God wrong, you wipe out the very existence of the universe, as we should know by watching the movie Dogma.
LAX Part Two:
Dogma, the Kevin Smith movie, where Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are fallen angels who are convinced by Jason Lee’s character to follow through on a loophole created by Catholic dogma, where if they pass through the doors of a certain church in New Jersey, they will find a way to get back into Heaven after being cast out by God. However, as existence is founded on the principle that God is infallible, their success would prove God wrong and thus undo all creation. The last scion and two prophets are sent by the Voice of God to stop them. Can you see the parallels of MIB finding a loophole, wanting to go to The Temple, and wipe out creation, or the island, or end the game he and Jacob are playing and sacrificing people for? The people out to stop MIB are the Oceanic 815 people that Jacob selected. The scenario could change by next week, but I thought it was a very familiar concept.

In fact, I was somewhat wrong. Jacob is the one trying to prove God wrong, if you really consider the fine details. He can call MIB evil all he wants, but isn’t Jacob an evil guy too? When Richard asks if there were others before him on the island, Jacob responds Yes, but they are all dead. R: Why didn’t you help them? J: I wanted them to help themselves, to know the difference between right and wrong, without me having to tell them. It’s all meaningless if I had to tell them. Why should I help them? R: If you don’t, he will. Keeping with the religious theme, this is an Old Testament view of God. He is hoping that people would figure out right and wrong on their own. The problem was that people had a predisposition to sin, so they couldn’t do it. And so as God put people on Earth, Jacob has brought people to the island. And has been competing with MIB over the actions of the people. But Jacob does nothing as many people have been killed. It’s sad really. It’s taken all this time for Jacob to realize that this just isn’t working, and many people have died for no good reason. Jacob has ruined countless amounts of lives, with no hope of succeeding.. This show this week is very religiously themed at the very core. So Jacob finally is snapped out of his mental slumber with Richard’s words. What could have Jacob sh!t for brains been thinking before? Well, some people are going to come here, and figure out on their own how to defeat pure evil. It’s just a dumb idea. God had another plan, with the Messiah. Jacobs needs to do the same. J: Do you want a job? If I don’t want to step in, maybe you can do it for me. So, Jacob realizes his plan was dumb, but now wants to change the rules. Is this the equivalent of the coming of Christ? No, Richard is an idiot when it really comes down to it. It has to be a candidate that will save them all. Remember the saying what lies in the shadow of the statue? He who will save us all. Jacob for the first time is willing to admit that he is fighting a losing battle. Richard is to be a representative, an intermediary between Jacob and the people he brings to the island. Richard is the first of the Others. So Jacob wants to make a deal with Richard, which is what he and MIB love to do. I want my wife back. No. Jacob cannot bring people back to life. Really? Even in the spring? MIB can, as he brought Sayid back. But Jacob doesn’t have the physical body here. But he did save Dogen’s son. I’m scratching my head over the rules here. I guess Jacob wants Richard to ask the “right” question. Can you absolve me of my sins so I don’t go to Hell? No. This is a very good request, and one people should remember when they get wishes from a genie. But you cannot promise this because you don’t know what Richard will choose to do in the future. Richard is now scrambling for an answer. Can you promise the viewers that we will never see another godforsaken flashsideways? No, can’t do that. Grrrrr. I want to live forever. That I can do. Richard may have been hasty here. I understand the progression of thought when you go from never wanting to go to Hell to the next step of never dying so that you cannot go to Hell. It’s avoiding the eternity of fire and brimstone. But it also prevents him from ever being reunited with his wife in a potential afterlife. He will never see his wife again. It’s certainly a trade off. Jacob sure is a confusing figure. He can grant immortality, but doesn’t want to get involved in people’s lives. He certainly influenced life altering events off island for Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Jack, Dogen, etc when he touched them or bribed them. MIB is not happy with Richard. You let him talk to you. Richard hands MIB a white rock because Jacob wanted to give him a gift. Remember the reference I made to Lloyd and MIB from The Stand earlier?. MIB: If you go with him, you will never see your wife again. Well, seeing MIB as Isabella isn’t exactly a reasonable facsimile and won’t keep you warm at night. And the sex might not be pleasant. MIB concedes that Jacob can be very persuasive, and if Richard ever changes his mind, the offer still stands. MIB gives Richard a gift, the cross of Isabella. Fundamentally, can pure evil carry around a cross? What, it doesn’t smolder in the palm of his hand? Richard buries the cross, which reminded me of Sawyer and Desmond tossing rings away after difficult scenarios with the women that they loved.

In present day, Richard goes back to the jungle hiding spot and digs up the cross. Like Sawyer dug up the engagement ring for Juliet 30 years later. Repetition. R: I’ve changed my mind, I was wrong, does the offer still stand? Richard is shouting out into the jungle. Considering that MIB mentioned a day or two ago that he still wanted Richard by his side, I seem to think the offer would still be good. Hurley shows up, and Richard is not happy to see him. Your wife sent me. Isabella told me about the cross; she is standing right next to you. Richard doesn’t see her. Hurlie Goldberh continues to translate. Will Hunting, it’s not your fault. The reunion is fairly powerful, Richard tears up and his mascara runs a bit. Isabella finally leaves, Richard puts on the filthy, dirt caked cross. Oh, yeah. She also said that you have to stop the MIB from leaving the island, or we all go to hell. MIB looks on from a distance, frustrated to know that he is too late to claim Richard for his side. This tells us that Isabella was not MIB in this case. She was a real ghost that may or may not have been speaking based on what Jacob told her. I still don’t think Jacob can necessarily shape shift and he doesn’t get directly involved. But, he is using Hurley in the role that Richard used to have, a representative. It’s almost like Jacob is setting up Hurley to be the new advisor for whomever does take over for Jacob. Jacob and MIB are sitting under a tree. Get my present? This establishes the time of the meeting as soon after Richard is unsuccessful in trying to stab Jacob in 1867. J: you tried to kill me, why? MIB: I want to leave. J: As long as I’m alive, you’re not going anywhere. MIB: Now you know why I want to kill you. J: Somebody else will take my place. MIB: Then I will kill them too. J: Have some wine, to pass the time, see ya around. MIB: sooner than you think and then smashes the wine bottle on the rocks. I don’t think I really need to explain much of that, as it is very direct, self explanatory, and what we need more of in the near future.

Very enjoyable hour plus of TV viewing. Sorry about the religious angle I took on this episode, but it was hard not to. I have little hope that Tuesday’s Jin and Sun episode will be worth a sh!!t, but taking into consideration this Richard story, if half of the remaining episodes will be as good, we are going to get a hell of a finish to this series.

Monday, March 22, 2010

6.8 Recon

Random thoughts….I suppose there was a conversation about 6 years ago in some ABC executive’s office. “So, tell us about your idea”. “It’s a show about nothing.” “Nothing?” “You see, it’s just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read, your plane crashes on an island. Then, 6 years later, everybody is still watching a show about absolutely nothing. Nothing happens, nothing is explained, nothing is nothing.” “Brilliant!! Here is a bag of cash, including the dollar sign on the outside of the bag.” Remember when the executive producers responded to criticism of the Kate episode a couple of weeks ago by tweeting “If you don’t like it, go watch NCIS: Los Angeles”? So, does anybody know what channel it’s on? Oh, come on. I am still a fan of the show. Why would I waste so much time on these recaps and random thoughts? I’m just doing what any loving MIB would do when his ‘ho gets out of line and you need to crack her across the face to teach her a thing or two about a thing or two. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. With only a handful of episodes left, why do the writers insist on making Season Six mostly uneventful and so boring? 10 minutes after the episode ended, I found myself out in my backyard digging a grave for myself and muttering about green beans and bananas. Do you think it’s a painful way to go if you beat yourself to death with a rock? If Jacob touching you makes you practically immortal, does this make the most indestructible thing on the island Jacob’s wiener? If Richard ‘watched them all die” in response to Sun’s query last season, shouldn’t he be at least a bit surprised to see Jack and Hurley in the last episode? New York City is about to ban salt. That’s not a question. But I just felt like taunting New York City. I suppose you can find a couple of diamonds in any LOST episode, but this one was a whole dam coal mine with a hell of a lot of coal. Did anybody have their window open Tuesday night and hear me yelling “I am very disappointed with you people!!!” to no one in particular, but with the LOST writers in mind. Half way through Recon, I almost felt like filling out my census form to help pass some time. Almost. I’m tired of wearing tin foil hats, and not just because it makes my head look like a baked potato, but it’s to keep the supermarkets with their satellites from spying on us. I wonder what it would be like to be infected and insane and have animal skulls lying around my house. And where would I find the room, with all the jars of urine taking up space. I’ve dug little computer chips out of my skull before. Maybe it was just bits of rock. Evil Incarnate has a mother? A kind correspondent informed me that Matthew Fox appeared on Sesame Street recently. How sad that an inanimate thing with a hand up it’s ass could be so terrible on camera. Yes, I’m talking about Jack. This was a really weak episode. I just wasted a lot of time typing just to get to that last sentence.

They skipped the “Previously on LOST” thing this week. I don’t know why I noticed that. Sawyer is not trapped in the cave of names. How did he get out with the ladder broken? Who cares, because little bits of detail like that aren’t important anymore. Whee!!! Just sit back and drool like you just had a lobotomy and Chief is perched over you with a pillow. Juicy Fruit is a disappointment in how quickly it loses flavor. Five seconds of pleasure, and then nothing. Sort of like sex. So Sawyer turned a frozen donkey wheel and was transported back to the top of the cliff or something like that. Sawyer is heating up something in a kettle that is brackish, brown and liquidy. He offers Jin a cup of mud.
6.6 Sundown
Jin is nursing his bad leg, most likely at Claire’s camp. Sawyer is either with Jin or stuck in a cave with no ladder to climb back up to the top.

Jin wants to leave camp. Why? Oh come on. Groan. “I need to find my wife.” I hope they are finally reunited. In the belly of a shark. “That is not Locke.” “I know.” Has anybody else noticed how many times the characters on the show have been saying this. “That’s not Locke.” It’s like the writers are trying to tell us something over and over and over again, something we knew back in Season 5. I’m getting annoyed. OK. More annoyed. Sawyer reassures Jin. You know, for a guy that just had his leg eaten by a bear trap about a day ago, Jin is hobbling around pretty well. That magical healing island is still alive and kicking. MIB arrives with his gaggle of silly geese, the Others. Sawyer makes a point to say Hi to Kate, as I vomit in my mouth. Which is preferable to vomiting out your ears. You wouldn’t think this was possible, but I’ve lost a few Q-tips too. Sawyer is in bed with a dame. Not a surprise, considering how many people Sawyer has slept with on the show. Vincent is still mad that Sawyer never called the next day. Sawyer is running the ‘ole pigeon drop con that we saw many seasons ago. But he is doing it very, very badly. This was some miserable acting for a con artist. Sure, this could very well have been intentional in a spoof of cop shows from the 70’s and 80’s and yes I’m talking to you CHIPS. I suppose if Sawyer isn’t a real con man anymore, but is probably very unpolished in his delivery. So, the woman pulls a gun on Sawyer and says “how stupid do you think I am?” This is a parroting of the Season 4 scene where Miles and Daniel have Jack and Kate at gunpoint in the jungle, and Jack tells Miles to drop his gun. Juliet and Sayid were in the bushes to ambush Miles, and of course Miles told Jack “how stupid do you think I am”? So, of course, after Sawyer gives the magic word “Abracadabra”..ah, I watched Half Baked on TV this weekend, sorry, when Sawyer says “LaFleur”, Miles this time gets the drop on somebody. The room fills with cops. OK, I’ve read plenty of books, I’ve studied police procedures. Where is it written that it is permissible to actually sleep with a suspect in a stakeout? Did these cops just watch and/or listen to Sawyer getting some? This was creepy porno shoot or something. Great horny toads. So, Sawyer is cop. Cue LOST music, and I am not impressed. Weak beginning to this episode. Very weak. But, you then have to wonder why the fock would Sawyer, a cop, allow a handcuffed Kate in the elevator of the airport escape. Why? They didn’t look like they recognized each other. Sawyer is not only a cop, he’s a frigging bad one on top of that. All he had to do was “Psst” to the security guys in the elevator and point at Kate.

Claire is packing a few things and then takes a moment to admire her skull baby. Kate peeks over Claire’s shoulder and you can see the wheels turning in her head as Kate is trying to come up with a plan to steal this baby as well. Considering Claire had 3 years to put this shelter together, it’s pretty horrible. There are holes everywhere, especially the ceiling part. It sort of rains a sh!!t load on the island. So, you’re telling me Claire just sat in mud every time it rained? Claire defends her ugly baby. Have you ever had a situation where a co-worker showed you a baby picture, and the kid was so ugly, you really had to stifle a crazy laugh. Take note people. Not every single child is adorable. Some of them look worse than skull baby. You think Aaron is a cute kid? He has a huge noggin. Aaron looks like something that should be tied down with ropes, moving lazily down the street, past a crowd of people on the sidewalk, during Thanksgiving. MIB gives a speech, promising to answer all their questions, something Jacob never had the decency to do. What happened to all the people at the Temple? The black smoke killed them. So, while MIB is willing to talk, he not willing to go the full distance and tell the whole truth. I guess Smoke Monster confession might not have gone over so well with the audience, like an announcement over the PA system in Walmart. Claire decides to hold hands with Kate. Um, that’s more of a public display of affection than I’ve ever done. In fact, I wouldn’t allow my parents hold my hands when I was crossing the street. And that was just last week. Locke reassures Zach. “I promise I will take care of you.” OK, by taking care of, do you mean kill? And how old is this kid? 10? And he is carrying around a teddy bear? This kid is a nightmare of a mess. Kate questions Sawyer. “You’re with Locke now?” Well, Sawyer was with Juliet for awhile, so I don’t think he is ready to rush into anything serious any time soon. Sawyer is not with anybody. Kate is so excited that she pees a little. James Ford is wheeling and dealing on the phones, looking for Anthony Cooper circa Alabama in 1976. This was the year before the bomb detonated on the island, the incident, and it seems that things that happened prior to the bomb still happened. Sawyer’s parents are still dead. Miles is Sawyer’s partner, reestablishing their working relationship as they were Dharma security on the island. But in this reality, they are not boss-worker, but partners. You’ve come a long way, baby. We learn that Miles’ father, Dr Chang, is alive and works in a museum that comes alive during the wee hours of the night. Sawyer is set up on a blind date, since Miles so tactfully put it, “Do you want to die alone?” I don’t particularly want to share a coffin. Who does? Which brings me to WHERE WAS JULIET? Come on, you have to be kidding me. You couldn’t bring her back for this episode. Holy smokes. We are blatantly being told that Sawyer and Juliet were not meant to be together. Miles starts to question Sawyer’s truthfulness. “Are you lying to me?” I understand that the bond between cop partners is very strong; these guys have to trust each other with their lives. But Miles was just so over the top inappropriate with questions into Sawyer’s activities. While MIB sets up camp for a couple of days, Sawyer expresses his impatient at not leaving the island right away. A private chat off in the jungle, and MIB confesses to Sawyer that he is the black smoke that killed the Others at the Temple. “I gave them the choice to leave.” Always a choice. MIB is annoyed that the Others are convinced that they are protecting the island from him, and all MIB wants to do is leave the island. Kill or be killed. MIB is just such a gosh darn teddy bear. Other than the purging and the smash people to death. MIB gives Sawyer a mission. The episode title Recon has a double meaning; to con again and also to gather intelligence. When Jack went to collect intelligence, he brought a thimble. Even when dumdum isn’t in the episode, he is not forgotten by me. I hadn’t forgotten about the Hydra island survivors, apparently neither has MIB. “They mean to do us harm.” Well, other than not having boats or guns or any knowledge of the very existence of people on LOST island, those people certainly pose a risk. MIB flatters Sawyer with a “you’re the best liar I ever met” and gives him hope of flying off the island. Sawyer never stops to think how much open land they would need to taxi a plane, get rolling, and actually take off. There is no way Frank is going to get the Ajira plane off the ground. No way. Plus, when they landed, a branch went through the windshield and shish kabobbed the co-pilot to death. I don’t think there is a Plane Windshield hatch on the island, so that plane is just a bigger waste of space than Zach. I bet Skull Baby could outwit that lunkhead Zach.

Sawyer goes on a blind date, and it turns out to be Charlotte, a person Sawyer had very little interaction with on the island. And I don’t think Miles and Charlotte were friends. They share the common bond of being children on the island, their parents were Dharma, and they time traveled. Still, odd that Charlotte was in Sawyer’s episode. But I guaran-dam-tee that in some plane of existence, Daniel Faraday is howling with rage. Charlotte is still an archeologist, which we know she chose to become to allow her to search for her birthplace. So in a sense, she is searching, much like Sawyer is. When Charlotte smiles, her nose crinkles on the side, like wadding up a brown paper bag before tossing it in the general direction of a garbage can. Recycling? Not a chance. I’m rooting for the end of the world. It looks so odd, like she is wearing a prosthetic nose. I swear, if Roddy Piper looked at her with some sunglasses, he might scream. Charlotte insists that Sawyer doesn’t treat her like all the other girls. What, you don’t want to have sex with Sawyer? Sawyer explains that he had a choice, there is that word again, of becoming a cop or a criminal. Boy, did he choose poorly. We was making some bucks and living the life. Now, not so much. Fast forward, and Sawyer is lying in bed, snuggling with something that was fished out of a lake about 2 months after being dumped. Or a naked Charlotte. Who can tell the difference? Somewhere, Daniel is screaming Noooooooooooooooo!!!!! Sawyer sleeps with yet another LOST female. Charlotte doesn’t want a glass of water, as she is still saturated from the lake. Sawyer says, go ahead and borrow a T shirt, top drawer right hand side. He leaves, and Charlotte immediately goes for the top LEFT hand drawer. She is working on some ulterior motive. Maybe Miles devised a genius plan to have Charlotte sleep with Sawyer and then snoop around. Or maybe Charlotte is a Nosy Nellie. It was just such a bizarre behavior. Did anyone think Sawyer left the room to look through Charlotte’s purse? Charlotte finds a scrap book full of articles and pictures of the death of Sawyer’s parents. Why this isn’t out on the coffee table is something I’ll never understand. It’s a conversation starter, for Pete’s sake. “Get the hell out”. Really, really, really bony Bones leaves. Sawyer arrives at Hydra island, and takes a stroll down memory lane near the polar cages. Ah, those were some truly horrible episodes. Good times, good times. He finds the sun dress that Kate wore 3 years ago. My memory must suck, but when exactly did she go from dress to jeans and shirt again. I’m sure she didn’t escape naked, and she was certainly breaking rocks in the dress. Anyway, Sawyer is staring at the dress, and you know that as soon as the camera pans away, he took a deep sniff. Didn’t Juliet die a day or two ago? Hey, retard, you just going to skip the grieving process and start flirting with the soon to be Skull Baby Snatcher? You just tossed a ring in the lagoon, and that’s it? How can Sun run around the island saying Jin with every other word, and here is Sawyer…ah, screw it. Kate asks Sayid if he is alright. Do you have eyes in your skull? Does he look alright? He looks more stoned than Frank. Claire attacks Kate. Instead of using something with a greater chance of success, like a couple of bullets to the back of the head, Claire decides to wrestle with Kate and try to stab her. Sure, American was rooting for Claire. If she actually killed Kate, Claire would have received enough votes to have won American Idol. Alas, it was not meant to be, and MIB grabs Claire and tosses her aside like a rag doll. MIB lectures to Claire that Kate did what she had to do and took care of Aaron. Just to make sure Claire is paying attention, MIB smacks the taste out of Claire’s mouth. Hilarious. What, no frying pan to the skull? Kate is upset. No, I’m not alright. Basically what Sayid just said. Repetition of dialogue and concepts are really popping up in the last few episodes. Sawyer finds the plane, and a rather large trail leading off into the jungle. I’d hate to see the size of the snail that made it. Sawyer follows it until it ends in a pile of corpses. The Ajiries are dead. What a waste of frequent flyer miles. I expected one to look like Charlotte. You know, lake, corpse…nothing? Tough crowd. Flies buzzing around, and the corpses are pretty ripe. I don’t think that Widmore’s group had time to do this damage this quickly. I didn’t see blood anywhere, leading me to believe that bullets were probably now used. The writers have established through sloppy writing and inconceivable concepts that defy physics that MIB can be in two places at once. So maybe Smokie did this. And we also have the possibility that Ilana and her thugs did this before leaving for the main island. My money is on MIB. A person flees from the scene, Sawyer tackles her. She is Zoe. “I’m the only one left.” Bullsh!!t. Did anybody believe her for a second? Her acting was a notch below Anna Nicole Smith’s.

Liam shows up at Sawyer’s police station, looking for his missing brother Charlie, who was arrested on a drug charge from the Oceanic 815 flight. Sawyer goes the extra mile with “not my department”. Miles confronts Sawyer about his trip to Australia. Miles has run Sawyer’s credit card. Incredibly inappropriate and unethical behavior. Miles is invading Sawyer’s privacy in a belligerent way. Of course Sawyer is hostile to this revelation. Miles talks about them needing to trust each other. I would think that an important step in trust is to NOT run your partner’s credit card, look at his receipts, dig through his trashcans at midnight, or taking a peek at Sawyer’s package while standing next to each other at the urinals. Although, Miles did observe Sawyer having sex with woman from the beginning of the episode. Are we sure Miles doesn’t have a crush on Sawyer? How do you not punch Miles, but then turn around and punch a mirror. Is Sawyer a parakeet? Again, another mirror in an LAX timeline episode, turning point, a self reflective moment. Miles doesn’t want to be Sawyer’s partner anymore. I’m curious if Miles still has the ability to read the minds of dead people. That would be very handy in a homicide division rather than wasting time setting up con artists in a sting. Zoe begins an interrogation of Sawyer. When Sawyer squeezes in a question “how did those people die?” there is a deflection and no answer. I was collecting wood and heard screaming. Yep, Smoke monster. Zoe took it upon herself to drag all the bodies into the jungle and stack them to get all the dead out of the sun. I have a feeling they don’t care all that much about shade, unlike Dr Arzt and his car. Maybe you try to hide in case whatever caused the screaming comes back. Her story just doesn’t make any sense. Are you alone? How many of you are there? Do they have guns? Can you give me their social security numbers so I can run their credit cards? Kate is crying by herself in the jungle. Nothing makes me happier. MIB approaches her. Unfortunately, no slap is forthcoming. No punch. No knocking out all of her teeth. No hitting her over the head with a steel chair when the ref is not looking. Sigh. MIB told Claire that the Others had Aaron because she needed somebody to hate, an enemy. Well, that makes Kate my enemy too. All that anger had to go somewhere. MIB promised to keep everybody safe, and it appears that includes Kate. Fock. Kate: Where’s Sawyer? Oh, for the love of God, don’t you start up too. Where’s Miles? Where’s Sun? Where’s Sawyer? Where’s Skull Baby? They ask fewer where are they now questions on VH1. MIB holds out his hand to Kate, who doesn’t take it. Why is this significant? Does MIB work through touch like Jacob to do something? As Zoe and Sawyer are playing the question game, very much with a feel of Mikhail and Sayid in the Flame hatch just before they brawled, Sawyer questions the plane’s destination. Zoe says Guam, where here boyfriend is. Sawyer is pissed that she has a boyfriend and may not be willing to sleep with him, so he pulls out his gun. Widmore’s goons pop out of the bushes. Yet another example of a Lostie getting captured by another group. Take me to your leader. Again.

MIB is sitting with Kate on the beach, showing her where Sawyer went and chatting about days gone by. MIB: I am not a dead man. My mother was crazy. I had a mother, a very disturbed woman. I had some growing pains, problems that I ended up working my way through, things that could have been avoided if things were different. OK, what a loaded speech. Could MIB be revealing more of the real truth? Hell, he and Jacob could be brothers, competing against each other, set up by their mother to fight on the island. Or is MIB relying on Locke’s memories to draw upon his mentally unstable mother who gave him up for adoption. Maybe MIB is simply lying to gain sympathy with Kate and her awkward situation. Or is MIB really Aaron, who through a glitch in time and space is now a grown up version of Turnip Head. I’m sure this is really important, but any scene with Kate is a nightmare, and I’m not a believer in important crap, so moving along to more trifles and minutia. A guy that looks a lot like Frank Caliendo is marching Sawyer to the Widmore sub at gunpoint. The Widmores are erecting pylons similar to what kept Smokie out of Dharmaville. Sawyer comes home to a dark apartment, a 12 pack, and a microwave dinner. I’m not saying Sawyer is a candidate for manic depression, but he is watching Little House on the Prairie. I mean, you might as well kill yourself. Michael Landon tells us a few things that may apply to LOST. “Nothing is going to happen to us. It’s the way we live in this life. People aren’t really gone when they die. Seems to me that those statements apply to dying on LOST island and then showing up in the LAX timeline. Getting flushed to another timeline. But then again, Juliet said ‘it worked”. So, then where was she in this episode? Frustrating. Since Sawyer is watching Michael Landon, who is very dead, he is reminded of the Corpse Bride that he kicked out of his house the other night. He brings a 6 pack of beer and a sunflower to Charlotte’s door and knocks. I usually show up at these kinds of social situations with a handful of crab grass and a hammer. If she doesn’t like the crabgrass, I hit her with the hammer. Charlotte berates Sawyer as being lonely, guilty, and completely mad. Dude, hammer. H-A-M-M-E-R. Trust me. “You blew it.” That’s what she said. Wokka. Wokka. Wokka. Meanwhile, Charlotte was the one excavating his drawers. That’s what she said. Oh, these are just too easy. Sawyer sees a padlocked room and asks what’s inside. None of your business. Since Widmore was able to return to the island, and was most likely aware of the Ajira disappearance and the gathering of the candidates to return, he may very well have abducted somebody to help the submarine gain access to the island. The island always gets you. Perhaps Desmond? The only other island possibilities would be Walt, Aaron, Eloise. Or maybe Widmore brought a hydrogen bomb and is going to blow up the island again. “He’s here”. As if Widmore was expecting Sawyer to show up. Weird. Sawyer doesn’t shake Widmore’s hand. Such bad manners. Or maybe Sawyer has watched Mallrats and knows all about the stinkpalm. You sent the freighter to kill everybody on the island. I got the distinct impression that Widmore wanted to say “Nobody’s perfect” and then a “Come here, you” and put Sawyer in a headlock and tussle Sawyer’s hair. Instead he goes with “it’s sad how little you really know”. Well, then that makes LOST viewers the saddest of all. Of course Widmore seems to know somewhat of the things happening on the island, but he is most likely just another pawn in the chess game between MIB and Jacob. “We didn’t murder those people.” I suspect that Widmore is telling the truth. He could have used a purge as a selling point to get Sawyer to do what he wants. CW:“Why are you here?” Shouldn’t this be the question that Sawyer should ask? Nobody on this show asks important, pertinent, and common sense questions. John Locke sent me, and we both know that he isn’t really John Locke. We know already. Over and over again. Same observation. Sawyer cuts a deal to bring MIB to Widmore in exchange for safe passage off the island for him and his friends. We really don’t know for sure which side Widmore is on. But I do know that he would love to regain control of the island. I have trouble seeing Widmore and Linus working for the same side. While Sawyer is trying to run a con, I’m thinking that it’s going to fail miserably.

Claire finds Kate and apologizes for trying to kill her. My heart sank. So, you won’t be killing Kate after all the trouble the plot went to in putting that thought into our heads? “I know you care about me and Aaron. I don’t know why I did that.” This is the first time in history a parent has apologized to the kidnapper. And then hugged them. Can you hear me grinding my teeth? MIB greets Sawyer returning from his boat cruise, but didn’t have a traditional lea and fruity drink to bestow on Mr. Ford. You didn’t send me to go find passengers, now did you? Ah, my con is bigger than your con. Widmore is there, setting up pylons, hiding something, armed crew, and Sawyer is to bring MIB to him. That hole in MIB’s shirt where Sayid poked him with the knife is extremely distracting. Can’t anybody sew? How about a new shirt? MIB thanks Sawyer for his loyalty, which is just ridiculous. If MIB put together an elaborate long con to kill Jacob, how does he not know what shenanigans Sawyer is up to? Of course Sawyer is playing both sides. That’s what conmen do. And MIB knows it. Miles hops into Sawyer’s car to hear the story of Sawyer’s parents death. Sawyer even brought the coffee table scrap book of death along, so to be turned into a George Romero movie. Sawyer was following a lead to Australia and when he finds Anthony Cooper, he is going to kill him. Miles is still acting pissy. Why didn’t you tell me? Yes, I’m going to try to stop you. This is like a bad romantic comedy, which is blatantly redundant. Before the scene gets any more mushy and somebody decides to hold Sawyer’s hand, a car for no reason at all drives up the cops, swerves and rams into their car. Very avoidable accident. Nobody was in pursuit of the car. Why did it crash? Makes no sense. Kate jumps out of the passenger side door and runs. At first, I though the dope was wearing a helmet inside the car, which makes even less sense. Sawyer runs down the perpetrator. Good. Give her a lethal injection. Just kill her in a timeline, any timeline. Kate is apparently cooking a rabbit over campfire, because there are plenty of rabbits to catch in a jungle without the benefit of them being in a cage in hatches that are nowhere near by. Sawyer spells out his brilliant plan of Widmore and MIB fighting it out, and how he and Kate will get off the island. We are not taking the plane, but the sub. OK, genius. You don’t think you can find a pilot for the plane, and I’ve already outlined the problems with the plane plan earlier. Who is going to pilot the sub? It doesn’t drive itself. I hope Locke manages to blow up this sub too. Stupid sub. Truly, an awful ending to a pretty lousy episode. Incredibly anticlimactic. We really need to pick up the pace of the show. But I’m feeling less optimistic about the direction we are heading. From what I understand, the next episode we get to see will be the story of a blithering idiot who knows absolutely nothing about what is going on. Richard Magoo, you’ve done it again.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

6.7 Dr. Linus



After repeated viewings, I simply did not like this filler episode. I thought it was the second worst episode of the season, being a little better than the Kate debacle. Granted, this was a transitional episode, as we leave the Temple arc behind us. But I’m in a sour mood this week, being a bit ill. No, I’m not dying, so stop rejoicing. Add in the fact that I look at the world differently than most people. I fear that I will be even more boring than usual, with very few humorous moments, if any. Well that part isn’t anything different. Playing to my worst fears, we just witnessed the downfall of one the best characters in LOST. The legendary character of Ben is besmirched forever in my eyes. What happened to the bad ass that purged a whole damn initiative? The guy that yelled at Juliet “You’re Mine!!!” The man that taunted Widmore that he was about to kill his daughter a few seconds before shooting Desmond? A guy that sent a freighter full of people to their demise. The man that stabbed God, well, a guy with special powers that is getting away with kid touching, but LOST probably doesn’t want us to mention that. The man that saved a paralyzed man from suicide, only to strangle him 2 minutes later. Ben was digging a grave because Ilana made him. Ben was also digging symbolically so that we the viewers can lay to rest the memories we had of a master manipulator who tormented Jack and Locke and the rest of the gang for season after season. Let’s see if I can do the eulogy thing better than Linus did at Locke’s island funeral. Here lies Benjamin Linus. Kidnapper. Master of Genocide. Crybaby. A man that sank an island with his river of tears. Amen. So many, many illogical bullsh!t character responses and behaviors in situations this week. I understand that you need to suspend belief at times for certain island activity, time travel and homicidal puffs of smoke among them. But if this show is supposedly about characters, how about we have them act rational once in a while, other than bizarreness needed to advance certain storylines.

Remember when Ben sashayed up the hill, away from Juliet weeping at Goodwin’s dead body, after yelling with spittle at her “You’re mine”, we’ve been quite consistent in pointing out that Ben is a hip swiveling maniac, a male version of Beyonce. He ran effeminately away from Keamy when Kate and Sayid and the Others took out his men back in Season 4. Ben runs a bit like a girl in high heels. I’m not saying a very young Ben put on dresses and lipstick and accessorized, but Roger sure did drink a hell of a lot for one reason or another. So, Ben is sashaying as if he just the Costume Design Oscar at the Academy Awards and doesn’t want to trip on his lovely flowery Versace custom made flowingly long speckled gown at a rapid pace in the jungle, and runs into Ilana, Frank, Sun, and Miles. Ilana wants to know where he bought those lovely shoes. Instead, Ben shares intel that Sayid killed Dogen and his interpreter. Lennon was important enough that Ben doesn’t remember his name roughly 10 minutes after he died. Since Sayid was standing over their dead bodies with a bloody dagger, so Ben is quite sure they are dead. Dead is not necessarily dead when it comes to the pool, as Sayid showed us, but we are moving along after I wasted several sentences talking about fashion. Stupid Oscars. Inglorious Basterds was robbed. I hope a really heavy chandelier drops on Sandra Bullock’s head. I think they forgot to show Boner in the death montage. Sun opens her mouth and I groan. Here it comes. She can’t help herself. Where is Jin? Have you seen Jin? Jin, come ou,t come out, where ever you are. Being Jin Malkovich. Jin Jin JIN. Jin? Jin. Jin. To my complete disbelief, she says: You mean the Temple is not safe? Ben is reporting deaths at the Temple. You mean the Temple is not safe? In the annuls of brilliant statements, this ranks with “How much does this cost?” when you are shopping at the Dollar Store, or asking “Would you like another free drink?” to me, or saying “I’m going to spend all day trying to lick my elbow”. But I am so baffled that Sun didn’t use the J word, I’m going to leave her alone. After all, in case you didn’t know it, she is distraught over Jin. What’s the plan boys? Hey, I know, let’s head to the Losties Beach. It’s one of the worst strategic locations on the island, despite what Ben said. You have a multitude of hatches and stations you could head to, maybe go to the tunnels, or even the Barracks. Strategically, at least you are not in the wide open. But that’s what Sawyer wanted to do during the time travel episodes, that’s what Rose and Bernard did. The old reliable fall back plan. These people are homing pigeons. Doesn’t this show reek of repetition and familiarity? As this episode progresses, it has the feel of a Season 2 or 3 episode. You remember, the seasons with all those fillers?. Take note that there was great effort on eveybody’s part to try to refer to Michael Emerson as “Linus”, and purposeful avoidance of the word “Ben”. Dr Linus is lecturing about a man he greatly resembles right now on the island. Napoleon was exiled from France to the island of Elba, off the coast of Italy. Napoleon was the sovereign ruler of Elba, but was still under the thumb of British rule. Ben explains that everything changed, Napoleon was devastated by his loss of power, kept his title on an island, but it was meaningless, he might as well have been dead. Napoleon had fallen from French Emperor to tiny island rock star. Ben has gone from leader of the Others to just another island guy. I felt there really was a major, major push to parallel concepts from island to LAX this week more than previous weeks. Maybe because the writers are sensing how much we find the LAX stuff borderline boring, uninteresting, and uninspired. Although, this week, I actually thought the LAX was better than the island, and that is a recipe for disaster. Ben is approached by Principal Reynolds. Yes, the name Reynolds appears on Jacob’s list. It’s a name found in the cave, but as of yet, no number has been linked to the name. If you look at the list I posted in 6.5 Lighthouse, Reynolds is all the way at the end of the list. Same guy? Possibly. He’s the only Reynolds in the Lost series so far. Ben is now supreme ruler of detention and has been blocked from running his History Club with a whopping membership of 5 students. History Club is so dreadful, the Chess Club takes their lunch money every day. The principal claims that Ben is only running it for his own sense of being needed. While island Ben always has an answer, LAX Ben is a mugger threatening to pistol whip a potential victim with a wet sock. He practically whimpers, its Dr Linus, actually. His lips were moving, but all I heard was “It’s Ted, actually. You can’t do this to me, Dr Kelso. Random student: Hey, Ted, you have egg salad and flop sweat on your tie. Ted: What? Again? Ooooh. Ted slaps the top of his bald spot with the palm of his hand. In the lunchroom, there is no sign of Janitor, but Dr Arzt is still the same blathering ass. I hope they keep his character around as much as possible. He has been pouring formaldehyde all over his shirt because he has been carrying around hard boiled eggs in his front pocket, and who doesn’t like a nice picked egg for a snack? He needs some aprons and new equipment and someone that can stand there for 5 minutes in silence while Arzt finishes a sentence. He buys his shirts from Marshalls, which is actually a classier place than I frequent. Sure Arzt might get summers off and a crappy pension, but that snob doesn’t have to rub it in. Ben seems to think that schools and teachers should be about helping children. Spoken like someone that doesn’t spend 4 hours every day on public transportation with teenage monsters that reek of pot, menthol, and failure. Locke has a bit part this week, but it packs a wallop. Maybe you should be principal. Ambition, thy name is Bennifer. Locke: it sounds like you care about this place, and if the man in charge doesn’t, maybe it’s time for a change. That sentence seemed just as appropriate for the island, as we see a constant battle for power. Miles asks Ben about the Temple, and “what was that thing back there”? Well, this isn’t the first time Miles has seen it. He was in the Barracks house when Keamy shot Alex, as he was the one that brought the walkie talkie to Ben. He saw the monster be “summoned” and attack. He saw it drag one of Keamy’s men into the jungle. He seems to be asking the question as if it’s the first time he has seen it, but it’s the way the writers chose to introduce the ploy to get the truth of Jacob’s death into the open. Very clumsily done. Ben says that it killed Ilana’s friends at the statue and killed Jacob. Ilana confronts Ben about Jacob, as if Jacob told her ahead of time what Ben was going to do. Ilana gathered up some of Jacob’s ashes in the foot a few episodes ago. She somehow knows all about Miles’ ability. With all this information in her head, somebody must have spent a lot of time tutoring her in a library. How did he die? Miles confirms that Linus killed him. Ben counters with: Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! Linus was standing over Jacob’s dead body with a bloody dagger, so Miles is quite sure he is dead, mimicking Ben’s exact words from moments ago. Repetition. Ilana says Jacob was like a father to her. I don’t know where they are going with the Ilana story line, but I’m getting tired of her. She’s a character I just don’t care about in a positive or negative way. I just don’t care. Do something or die.

Setting up the Losties camp. Ben claims that Miles is lying because of the bribe attempt, when Ben was a prisoner of Locke’s at the Barracks in Season 4 for 3.2 million dollars. Ben looks at a microwave reflection, like it was a mirror, a running theme on LAX episodes this season. He is living with his sickly father, who ironically is getting an oxygen tank changed by Ben, who gassed him during the Dharma purge in the other timeline. Ben is sad that he is a loser. Roger had envisioned a better life for them in the Dharma Initiative on an island. He called them decent people. They had left the island at some point. Roger and Ben came to the island around the time Ben was ten in the not-boring-as-sh!t time line. Ben’s mother died in child birth, causing Roger to blame Ben for Emily’s death. Roger hated the island and being a workman. Now, in the sh!!ty timeline, Roger and Ben are pals. But Dharma was a commonality. When did they leave? Why? Ben was in the Temple during the Incident last season, shot by Sayid. Then the bomb went off. They left after the bomb? Another time line, somehow? A third one? At least. Right now, the island is under water, right? So, when does the island get submerged? My head hurts. Alex rings the door bell and needs tutoring. Holy hell, they tried to make her look really, really young. On the beach, uh oh, Sun is on screen. “I need to find my husband.” There it is. They fooled me this week. It was the second time Sun talked. She had more than one line, so they diversified. Ilana explains that she or Jin is a candidate to replace Jacob and she needs to protect them. There are 6 candidates left. (Hurley, Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, Kate, Jin/Sun) Hurley wakes up in the jungle and yells Cheese Curds. I have no idea what this means, but can you imagine that these could possibly be the last words that you speak before dying. How embarrassing. Must be nice to be the only one on the island that we know has gotten some sleep since Season 6 has began. Jack wants to head back to the Temple, but Hurley keeps stalling with all the subtlety of a Borat at a tea party asking where to dispose his little baggie of poo. Hey, there’s Richard popping out of the jungle. No, I didn’t say ”pooing”. This is the first time Jack has seen Richard since they were working together to get Jughead to where it needed to go, and this is the very first time Hurley has met Richard. Ben searches Sawyer’s old tent, and discovers a video of “Booty Babes” and he is probably thinking about the VCR on the island. New plan people. We have to go back to the Barracks. A book is lying about, The Chosen, a probable reference to Jacob and MIB. Ben tells Frank that he remembers the Oceanic breaking up over the island like it was yesterday, when it broke in half. Wrong. Try again. Ben saw the plane break into THREE parts, the tail section, the fuselage, and the cockpit. It was very clear from his vantage point, the start of the Season 3. Why did Ben say 2? Maybe it broke in half in other loops. Yes, I am still clinging to the Groundhog Day, Matrix, Loops Theory. How does Ben make this kind of obvious mistake, for no purpose? Frank explains that he was supposed to be the original pilot of that plane, but he overslept. Ben is shocked by this tidbit. Why? He knew everything about everybody on the freighter. He recited back the resumes to Charlotte and Keamy. He was getting intel from Michael. Ben never made the connection that Frank was to be the original pilot. Really? Mikhail pulled up profiles on all of passengers on the original Oceanic 815 in the Flame hatch, but the pilot switch never came up in the research. Very, very odd. Or just sloppy writing. I guess it didn’t matter, since the island got Frank anyway. Ilana puts a gun to Ben’s neck and marches him into the Losties beach graveyard. Ilana was somehow able to defy all reasonable expectations and built shackles out of spare parts lying on the beach. She’s a witch. Ben is told to start digging. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. What, you expected a Casino reference with Joe Pesci in the desert? Go screw. Why doesn’t Ilana just shoot Ben? Why go to the trouble of him burying himself. Afraid the boars will get him? Afraid MIB will claim him? Build tension in the plot? The MIB can certainly appear as somebody buried, for example Libby. So it’s a lame plot device.

Ben’s book in the school library is open to a page on the East India Trading Company. We learn that Widmore was buying the journal of the first mate of the Black Rock at the auction that Desmond caught up with him in the episode the Constant where Desmond was traveling back and forth between 1996 and 2004. The Black Rock was a British trading vessel that set sail from Portsmouth, England on March 22, 1845, on a trading mission to the Kingdom of Siam. And there’s your tie in, nice and neat. Alex is unable to answer a question about India and finds herself frustrated. Ben tells her it’s only a test. It’s completely surreal watching Alex and Ben sharing some nice moments off island, in a comfortable relationship of mentor and student, while on island it was a tempestuous caldron of emotion between kidnapper and Stockholm Syndrome victim. Hey, did anybody see Karl in this episode? I didn’t. My mother works two jobs, I’ve just got to get into Yale. Yeah? I worked three jobs and put myself through college. I have no sympathy for Alex. In the real world, not having a degree from Yale isn’t going to destroy your life. You can still be wildly successful. Sigh, kids and their ultimatums. Even Ben gets it, as he says he doesn’t worry about her future at all. Of course, her future got cut short on the island, so I suspect that community college is probably better than getting a bullet in your skull. She needs a letter of recommendation from pervert Reynolds. Ben: did he touch you? There has been way to many uncomfortable kid touching references in this show lately. Eww, yuck. How old they are making Alex out to be? She was 16 on the island. It’s like they are trying hard to make an actress than looks 28 act like a 12 year old. Just creepy, and gets creepier. Can you keep a secret? I’m expecting Chris Hansen to pop out from behind book case and offer Ben some brownies and lemonade. It’s a sting. The principal and the school nurse were playing doctor. And Alex watched them. Ok, I’m checking out here. No comment. Ben swears a promise is a promise, and to be fair, Ben did keep some promises on the island, like letting Michael leave, or letting the Losties take the helicopter to leave the island. Miles offers Ben some green beans and banana, two flavors that go as well together as gasoline and toothpaste. Ben offers the 3.2 million. Miles, and we knew it would happen eventually, brags that he knows that Nikki and Paulo were buried with 8 million in diamonds on top of them. Ben says Jacob didn’t care about getting killed. Miles corrects him, and says Jacob cared, and right up until the second the knife went through his heart, he hoped he was wrong about Ben. Leads me to a few thoughts. First, Jacob knew all about Ben from the pool. What if Jacob could scan a person’s thoughts like MIB, but needed the pool to do it. Once he scanned Ben in the water when young Ben was shot and needed to be healed, he made a judgment. Maybe. But even though Jacob knew that he would be killed, he was hoping Ben wouldn’t do it. Strange plan for ending the game with MIB. You have to wonder if Jacob could have died at the hands of someone else. We just don’t know for a fact what the loophole is, just speculation. Ilana takes an irrational gun shot at the ground. Dig. Hurley begins a conversation, making me wonder if the LOST writers are 8 years old. So, we are not time traveling? Richard: No. H: You look the same as you did 30 years ago. (You’ve never met him in any scene in Season 5 during the Dharma 1977 year you were on the island.) Sloppy writing, or evidence of a previous loop? You decide. What are you? Cyborg? Vampire? Aqua Teen Hunger Force? R: Jacob gave me a gift. Is this like a gift that MIB has been giving out like candy at Halloween? Or Jacob gave to Dogen? A deal? Such as, Richard asking to be immortal, or did he get locked into a bad deal? They arrive at the Black Rock. Everybody at the Temple is dead. So, Richard finally got there, way after MIB did, although Richard had a huge head start. Remember, MIB took Sawyer out to the caves. Richard took the scenic route. I don’t care how fast MIB can travel in Smokie form. Richard should have got there first. Richard didn’t see Sayid or Kate but “everybody” is dead. Come on, now you’re just focking with us. Sure, you can create a drinking game out of how many times Jack cries in an episode, but this is just blatant attempts to make us drunk and wobbly. Jack confronts Hurley about the stalling, and Hurley admits that Jacob hinted at bad stuff. Richard tells Hurley not to believe anything Jacob tells him and that it’s time to die. So, Hurley is afraid to tell Jack important information because Jack either becomes a destructive, violent, reactive, unthinking rage-aholic or cries when you give him unexpected information, and Hurley can’t take the chance of Jack crying again. Richard is a disillusioned disciple lashing out at his previous messiah, or thinks the MIB could appear as Jacob since much like Locke, Jacob is dead. At least Richard has a plan, albeit a short term plan.

Dr Arzt is flunking kids with panache. You can see why he never was allowed to hang out with the cool kids, as he lamented about some of the Losties going on adventures while he and the other muckity mucks stayed behind to do chores. Ben: You’re good with computers, right? What an odd way to phrase, “hey, you want to break the law and have the FBI send you to “pound me in the ass prison”?”, but Ben is the linguist, not me. Can you hack into the nurse’s account? When Ben first entered the room, there was a student near the front of the room. What an odd conversation to have when there is the danger of being overheard. The cool thing with Arzt is that he is a direct man. “I don’t have time for 20 questions.” He needed to be killed off early in the show, otherwise we would have had answers much sooner than Season 6. Most of the Losties are moving along on a fluffy cloud on a morphine drip. Kim the nurse if having an inappropriate relationship with Reynolds. Arzt: You’re making a play for the big job. Direct and to the point. Just relish the uniqueness of that quality on this show. The deal is made for a cushy parking spot, aprons, and lab equipment. Not exactly Keamy demanding that somebody better pay him. But Arzt makes pickled eggs, good pickled eggs. Arzt is surprised by and impressed with Ben’s killer instinct. Don’t be, because it is just a temporary mirage. Richard is searching the Black Rock. Yes, he has been here before, but it’s the first time he has returned since he has been on the island. Well, the writers are out of time, so we have to start following their conclusions no matter if the puzzle pieces fit of not. As has been speculated by many, including me for a couple of seasons, Richard was likely a member of the slave ship Black Rock. MIB said it was nice to see him out of his chains. It bothers me that so many people have called Richard ancient, old, etc but the Black Rock arrived around 1845. Ancient to me means maybe a thousand years. Maybe 10 thousand years. 150 years or so is maybe a couple of generations. Not impressive. Unless you’ve been trapped in loops, then 150 x 10 loops, then we are in business. Yes, again, I’m still clinging to the Loop theory. Richard finds dynamite and discovers that he sucks at juggling as the dynamite bounces off tables and things. R: I can’t kill myself, you have to do it, Jacob touched me, it is a gift and a curse. Pause for a second. This is very reminiscent of Michael not being able to kill himself off the island after several suicide attempts. He blew up with the raft season one but survived. He needed to serve his purpose; then was allowed to die. Dawson was candidate #124. There were plenty of candidates on Oceanic 815, and most of them survived the plane crash. Jin survived the freighter explosion against all odds. Seems like the candidates are resilient, until they are crossed off the list and someone else kills them. I wonder what would have happened if Hurley jumped off the cliff at Dave’s (MIB) suggestion during Season 2? Hey, he can’t kill himself, right? We are starting to see how the rules work, but I’m convinced Mr Eko was on the list #49, but MIB killed him. Isn’t that against the rules? Jack was on the bridge ready to jump in the flashforwards, but a convenient car crash made him jump back. It certainly made Sayid a great assassin to go after Widmore’s people, if he couldn’t die. Ben didn’t seem to know or care about candidates because he sure didn’t protect them, like sending #48 Goodwin on a suicide mission or ordering the death of all the male Losties on the beach during Season 3. Oh, yeah. Richard Alpert is not on the list, therefore not a candidate, but was touched by Jacob nonetheless. So, there are different types of touches that Jacob doles out. Back to Richard’s speech. R: I dedicated my life, more time than you can possibly imagine (sounds like more than 150 years) to a man that said everything was happening for a reason, that he had a plan, a plan he would share with me when the time was right, so why do I want to die? I just found out that my entire life has no purpose, you can light it for me Jack. A bit touching, I liked it much more than the Ben speech soon to come. That would be a disappointing life for Richard, but Jacob is a son of a b!tch that drives a hard bargain. I suppose he is testing Richard’s loyalty here, but you would think after all this time, Richard would have earned it. Or at least earned the knowledge of what exactly the outline of the plan was, or at least something. Richard doesn’t even seem to know the word “candidate” here either. He just knows he can’t kill himself. I don’t entirely blame him for feeling betrayed and miserable. Jack decides that if Richard wants to die, we can’t stop him, and lights the fuse. Stop. We are about to be given the obvious Jack is the Man of Faith garbage. Because Locke was the Man of Faith, and Jack the Man of Science, and now Jack is being transitioned. Really? More like into the Man of Dumb. Jack is going to light the fuse. Here is a crazy idea, Nuts. Sh!t my pants crazy. How about before Richard potentially is being picked out of Hurley’s shirt for the next couple of weeks, you ask him to tell you all that he knows. How about some sharing of knowledge? You light the fuse, and THEN want to get some answers? Really? In twenty seconds? I went ballistic every single time I re-watched this lunacy. Let’s talk. I desperately want the explosion that ends the Jack story. I’m willing to sacrifice Richard. For the greater good.

The hissing of a fuse, and Hurley has ants in his pants. Jack proclaims that he will be fine and that neither he nor Richard will die. Jack: I just came from a lighthouse, a mirror reflected the house I grew up in, Jacob wanted me to know this, I have no idea why, he brought me to the island for a reason and not to for me to blow up right now. Richard points out that this is a big risk, Jack closes his eyes, and the fuse burns out. Jack grins. See, I’m not buying this. Locke crashed on the island, a paralyzed man, started walking, and it was clear that he had a connection to the island. He was special. Jacob has been dragging Jack along, kicking and screaming, to become another Locke. Locke is dead. How did that work out? I have no idea why Jack, of everybody on this planet, is the guy Jacob has wasted so much time on. Short sighted, irrational, cry baby, lack of common sense, and that’s just Jacob. Jack decided last season it was his destiny to set off a hydrogen bomb. Why? Because Daniel said it was a good idea. Sawyer was kicking Jack’s head around a bit early this season because “you were wrong”. So, Jack has now wrapped his pea brain around the concept that he is special because Jacob was spying on him when he was a child. Not caring that other people were on that dial in the lighthouse, not caring that Hurley was on that dial, Jack is self absorbed. Jack has become megalomaniacal. And this is now Jacob’s hope. A guy that is taking his and Richard’s and possibly Hurley’s life and putting them in harm’s way. Yeah, that’s a big risk for “I have no idea why”. Well, Locke did feel that way at one point, when he decided not to push the button. That didn’t exactly work out as planned. This whole Jack thing feels wrong. Richard: You seem to have all the answers, now what? Jack: Back to where we started. Another repetition, going to the fall back plan. Re-seting at the beach, again. We hear the MIB sounds, and he stands before Ben, hidden out of Ilana’s sightline by a bush. Ben complains bitterly that he is digging because he was talked into killing Jacob, Ilana is his bodyguard, she knows what Ben did. MIB doesn’t want Ben to die and that he was coming back for him. MIB is going to take people off the island, and someone will have to be in charge of the island. MIB can’t think of a better man for the job. To begin with, is being in charge of the island something that MIB can actually offer to someone, or just lip service? MIB claims that he always does what he says. But he seemed to dance around a concrete offer to Ben of running the island, just a bunch of subtle hints instead. And if it’s legitimate, is this an offer the MIB has been making, if you can have anything you want.? He believes that Ben wants to rule the island more than anything, especially after scanning him in the basement of the Temple. MIB frees Ben and tells him to join him at the Hydra station, he was leaving a gun for him, and don’t hesitate to shoot her. This really shows MIB planning ability, knowing to leave the gun in the jungle even before talking to Ben. This also mirrors Dogen’s scene with Sayid, a warning of not hesitating to shoot. Repetition. Ben takes a look around, and swivel hips makes a gangly dash for the jungle, with Ilana in hot pursuit. Ben confronts Principal Reynolds with the illegally obtained emails. I know that I keep bringing up illegal, but there was a case in Philadelphia between news anchors and a hacked email account. Bad things happened, criminal things happened. Has anybody else notice that this guy playing Reynolds was the corrupt professor in Real Genius and the sleazy reporter in Die Hard and the d!ck EPA representative in Ghostbusters? The shenanigans happened on school property, and then there is the matter of Mrs. Reynolds. Ben is very precise, he wants a resignation, a letter of recommendation, and he principal job. Reynolds sees the full house that Ben is holding. Oh, yeah? Let me show you what I like to call my pair of 3s. Alex Rousseau wants a recommendation. Well, we now know that Danielle is still Alex’s mother, although they don’t seem to be living in France. Anyway, “it works both ways, the ball is in your court”. Now, I’m a Man of Logic. My response to Reynolds would have been along the lines of “I’m going to glue crushed glass to my fists, dip them in AIDS, and punch my way from your assh0le up to the back of your teeth.” Now, let’s consider Ben’s non assault options. He could say “Well, I guess you will just have to write 2 letters of recommendation, as I still have the emails” or wait until Alex goes to Yale, then dust off the emails and confront Reynolds again or “go ahead and try to ruin her chances, I’ll show the emails to Yale” although that is bringing in outsiders which I don’t prefer. Including the AIDS punching, there are 4 options that Ben can take. A couple of them are even logical. Especially the one that asks for 2 letters right away. It’s over. Ben wins. Reynolds can talk about Machiavellian maneuvers and unfortunate side effects and ruining Alex’s future, but he has no leverage. Most importantly, Ben needs to do the greater good. He said earlier that teachers need to take care of the children, and that he was not worried about Alex’s future. So, if you think you will do better at being a principal than the guy currently in charge, the greater good is to allow Alex to be sacrificed and take care of the all the other children in year’s to come. R: Is power that important to you? I think this is the wrong question. Sure, the writers are trying to dumb it down for the audience and make it about the Ben and Alex relationship and Ben’s redemption. But I see this more logically and less emotionally. The right thing for Ben to do is throw Alex under the bus. He did the right thing on the island too. Keamy would have killed everybody on the island including Ben if he came out of the house. Strategically, it would sound for Alex to die. The right question in Reynold’s situation would be Is Alex that important to you, that you are willing to sacrifice everybody other student’s future to save hers? Sigh. I guess I need to leave my thinking hat behind sometimes. I was supposed to approve of Ben’s actions, rather than rebuke them. As I said earlier, I don’t really think like other people. Ilana is chasing Ben, and it’s the world’s slowest and most depressing race. I bet if I put on swimming fins, tied cinderblocks to my ankles, and carried Hurley on my back, I could lap them. Ben grabs the rifle planted by MIB, gets the upper hand, and does what any other villain would do when holding someone at gun point. “I need to explain”. Let’s listen to this mess, a soliloquy that gave me acid reflux . Ben: I need to explain. I know what you are feeling. I watched my daughter Alex die. It was my fault. I had a chance to save her, but I chose the island over her for Jacob. I sacrificed everything for him, and he didn’t even care. I stabbed him. I was angry, confused, terrified that the only thing that mattered to me I was going to lose, my power. But the thing that really mattered to me was already gone. I’m sorry that I killed Jacob, I don’t expect you to forgive me because I don’t forgive myself. Just let me leave. I will go to Locke, he is the only one who will have me. Ilana: I’ll have you. Ben is shocked, follows Ilana. I am cringing so hard, I think I just turned myself inside out. Ew. What a stinkaroonie. Wow, what a disappointing turn of events. Ben is pathetic and wrong on so many levels. Have we all forgotten that Alex isn’t ever related to Ben? If I can give Kate a beating for kidnapping Aaron, then Ben needs to suffer the same beating, not that island Ben isn’t used to getting bruised up and bloody. Kate blubbers when she has to give Aaron to Claire’s mother, Ben is blubbering over losing “his daughter Alex”. But Ben stole her from Danielle. Sure, you can bring up that Ben saved Danielle’s life and Alex’s life by ignoring Widmore’s orders. You can also say he kept a child away from its mother for 16 years and claimed it for yourself. No matter how you slice it, Ben caring about Alex was wrong and selfish. He stole her. So, in reality, Ben’s power should have been the most important thing in his life. Ben then complains that Jacob didn’t even care, which Miles just corrected Ben on while he was digging a grave. If I didn’t know better, Ben is trying to pull one last con with this sappy speech. While I don’t like seeing him weepy, he did do a damn fine job as Henry Gale. So, now that I’ve spent time trashing Ben this week, I will reserve some judgment that he might still be the same Ben he has always been. I hope.

Ben is in the principal’s office, for the most part, snooping. We are meant to think that Ben is now principal for a moment or two, but the writers quickly dispel that twist. Alex wanted to thank Reynolds for the effusive recommendation. Ben denies he had anything to do with it. After an interruption by Principal Reynolds, we discover that Ben no longer has to cover detention and History Club is back. Much like Dr Arzt, when negotiation a huge deal, Ben aims low, and settles for lower. Outside, Ben breaks the news to Arzt that he has no testosterone and that he is willing to trade away his parking spot. Ben’s deal just got even worse. Ben hears a noise above. A pigeon in midflight has just taken a dump. Ben was unlucky to have his mouth open when he looked up. Ilana comes back to the beach with Ben. She points at Ben and yells “Dig”. She then pokes his in the ribs with her elbow and says “I was just joshing. El. Oh. El.”. Ben awkwardly goes to help Sun with her tarp. Slow motion reel again. Miles has gotten a hold of the diamonds. Hurley, Jack, Richard reach the beach, and much like reunion scenes in Season 3 when Jack Kate Sawyer returned from the polar bear escapades, rounding the same beach corner, the cast runs and hugs and shakes hands and does other horrible stuff. There is never an excuse for public displays of affection, people. Ben and Richard are standing off the sides, like the dateless, leering freaks that show up at a high school dance. A sub periscope breaks the surface of the water. They spot the people on the beach. Shall we stop? No, proceed as planned, spoken by Charles Widmore. As I’ve brought up previously, Widmore was being heavily re-introduced into the show, especially last week. He is returning, with an unknown crew. Is he headed to the Hydra island. Sure seems like it. Whose side is he on? Too soon to tell. We can recall that he told Jeremy Bentham and it was very important for Locke to be on the island because a war was coming, and if Locke wasn’t there, the wrong side would win. He truly don’t know the motivations for the actions of Widmore and Hawking, despite them being either leader of the Others, or a high ranking Other. Seems like MIB and Widmore ate headed to the same location. The site of the Ajira survivors.

Let me end with a passage from an article based in the science of brilliant physicist and Science channel superstar, Dr Michio Kaku…
Dead Juliet was right: Faraday's plan did work. And this is where Lost is on solid science ground. Like Fringe, the show is now diving headfirst into multiverse theory, where the river of time forks constantly into different universes. "According to this theory, our universe is a bubble of some sort, which is constantly expanding," explains Michio Kaku, host of the Science Channel's Sci-Fi Science and author of "Physics of the Impossible." "But there are other bubbles out there, floating above us. These other universes are invisible, since light passes below them." Until now, Lost has said that whatever happened, happened. You can't change the past. And that's also right, according to Novikov's self-consistency principle. When the castaways detonated Jughead, they created another universe in which Oceanic 815 never crashed. But they didn't alter their own past—in fact, in some interpretations of quantum theory, they're actually existing in multiple states at the same time. "If time forks into two rivers, then you have two parallel realities, which evolve independently of each other," Kaku says. "Your own past is fixed, but you can meet copies of yourself in parallel universes in different time eras and then change your history. You can chance the past of the alternate reality that split off. It might also be possible that in these other realities, people who are dead in our reality are still alive in other universes—so Elvis might still be alive in another reality." In other words, the castaways simultaneously exist on the island, where they're preparing for an epic battle between good and evil, and in a world where Jacob never touched them. Where they never crashed. Where they don't know each other, as of yet.

And to add to the previous self explanatory passage, I listened to an interview with Dr Kaku recently. I found it fascinating that he said if you travel back in time and kill your mother before you were born, you did not in fact create a paradox. You simply killed somebody that looked like your mother in another universe. Wrap your mind around that one.

I didn’t really feel inspired for this writeup, as is the case when I’m trying to write about an episode that I thought wasn’t very good. Let’s hope for a better effort next week, from LOST and from me. May the worst moments of today be the best parts of your tomorrows.