Monday, March 1, 2010

6.5 Lighthouse

The glowing review I received for last week’s installment: “not as retarded as last week, but still pretty focking stupid”. Anyone can appreciate the warmth of the adoration of one’s fans. But I have the rare ability to bask in the glow of the hatred of my one and only reader. Who I hope gets trapped in a fire and spends the rest of their life in a burn wing of a hospice. Enough with the pleasantries. This writeup is brought to you in high definition, 3-D, and is sponsored by that yogurt that Jamie Lee Curtis is selling to you to make you sh!!t like clockwork. This was a Jack episode, and not nearly as horrible as the Kate episode of a couple of weeks ago. It was mediocre. Not much opportunity for theory building, as it was just a dumbed down episode, plodding, not all that interesting, but I’ve seen worse. Jack is thought of as the lead in this ensemble cast unfortunately, a mistake made Day One of this show as much better characters and actors like Terry O’Quinn and Michael Emerson toil away doing great things. Jack is a character that I’ve come around to disliking very much, even though his milquetoast personality wouldn’t seem to warrant it. I spent a couple of years doing these writeups including a weekly feature: Jack Sucks Moment of the Week. And week after week, Jack delivered a moment; on some weeks, Jack had half a dozen Suck Moments, and in those days, these recaps pretty much wrote themselves. Quick outline, and then spend 7 pages bashing Jack and then the usual 5 pages on bashing Kate. When he is in the spotlight, Jack tends to waffle, cry, make bad decisions, cry, gets absurdly angry at some point and does something really stupid or violent, cry, and then cry some more. I will give him all the credit in the world for decent acting when he was being a fall down drunk and pill popper in the flashforwards, but was it really acting or was Jack chugging some Jack Daniels and taking Oxycodone to be more realistic. I have no idea, but Heath Ledger has no complaints as he won an Oscar doing just that. Well, he is dead, but being dead just means you need to submit a resume to LOST. You’ll be on the show within two weeks, Heath. Otherwise, I have to give Jack credit for doing a dam good job with his drunken hopelessness. I didn’t buy Sawyer being drunk for a second last week, as I pointed that out. What, making your eyes squinty makes you look drunk? Please. I’ve looked in a mirror from time to time. I know drunk. And you sir, are no drunk. By the time I finished typing, I finally realized that this episode made me much more angry than I had anticipated. A shame, really.

Some additional tidbits and thoughts from the enhanced episode which preceded the new episode. The writers are now telling us specifically that the LAX timeline is a flashsideways and is the result of what would have happened if the Oceanic 815 plane never crashed. Except for all the details are much different present and past where that type of “plane never crashed logic” is nonsense. The LAX is like the epilogue, what happens when the island business is finished, and everything resets, and then Oceanic 815 lands in Los Angeles. I can’t wrap my head around any other scenario. These popups are more enraging than a killer whale having to deal with a trainer that smells like chum. This may be just more whininess from myself, but no one has addressed how so many scenes are similar, but when they are re-shown on the show, were different in dialogue or appearance. Miles ghost hunting house pictures, 3 different dialogue versions on the marina gathering of Ben, Jack, Kate, Sun, Sawyer with the rope when John disappears in the well, Juliet’s bloody face keeps changing from scene to scene in the shaft with the bomb, Juliet’s shirt changing in the same scene as she sets up for the book club, Charlie dying in multiple ways and Claire never getting on a helicopter as Desmond said would happen, Ben Sun and Jack meeing Eloise at the Lamppost dialogue. Claire giving birth with Jin and Charlie near by, and then they were never there during the time travel observation by Sawyer. Over and over and over, these scenes are different, and we still get no explanations. Fiddlesticks. I was thinking back on Sawyer saying the reason he is on the island is because of failures of using a plane, raft, helicopter, boat, and a submarine. What an oddity, and possibly a sign that Sawyer simply can’t leave the island at all. The music is really bothering me, that distorted clip when they jump back and forth from the interesting stuff on the island to the bore you to tears stuff going on off the island. Relistening to MIB’s “I’m trapped” speech to Sawyer in the jungle sounded very sincere. Sure, the MIB has lied and manipulated and killed people, but so has Jacob. It’s the Trading Places scenarios, where the Dukes have wagered on the outcome of a bet for one single dollar. Lot’s of mayhem and life altering events ensue, all for one dollar. Why is the ladder on the cliff so fragile? If this was Jacob’s cave, and if he was using it all the time, you would think it to be sturdy. The ladder might not matter if it’s not being used if a homicidal puff of smoke is floating in and out of the cave. I still don’t think it is Jacob’s cave. The most frightening thing of last week episode was seeing John smiling and being happy in the LAX timeline. It was off putting. Off putting, like when you are having a good old time at a New Year’s Eve party, telling jokes, some inappropriate, but generally being the life of the party. Don’t make a mistake of telling a Megan’s Law joke. The music stops, your alcohol is taken away, and you are told to leave immediately. So, you have no ride, no umbrella, and have to walk 4 miles home in a rainstorm. But it was funny. So you giggle a little as you pull your light jacket tighter against your shivering body and ignore the frigid wind. You’re disappointed that you couldn’t break out the material on punching Girl Scouts in the stomach. I would imagine it must be something like that.

This week, a frustratingly long time was spent on Jack’s LAX timeline. It wasn’t particularly interesting. Yes, he is a father of teenage son. The problem is Jack is a pussie, and now we get to see how fathers with no balls deal with their kids. I already sense that I am going to break my wrist from punching myself in the forehead over and over again for roughly the next hour. I don’t know who David’s mother is, whether she was actually married to Jack like Sarah, or if it’s someone like the woman he kissed in the parking lot after he killed her father on the operating table which of course would make a woman horny, but I didn’t quite recognize the brunette woman from any photos laying around. While Jack is getting dressed, he sees his appendix scar, left behind by Juliet’s surgery on the island. Right? When Jack is talking to his frantic mother about his father’s missing will and maybe some light concern about the corpse, Jack asks about the suddenly hazy memory of the operation. He had the procedure done when he was 7 or 8. Jack has seen blood on his neck but not scar, an appendix scar but no surgery recollection. Stand by for next week when Jack panics after finding a lactating third nipple. Jack still seems to have a lucrative career, but drives a shitty vehicle with the trade in value of a grocery shopping cart. At the Temple, Dogen and Jack have a painful conversation about nothing. Hey, where did Lennon and his speech impediment go? I didn’t see him the whole episode. What, Quasimodo finally got comfortable with the English language on his tongue? Samurai Stupid is surprised that Jack hasn’t left yet, Jack is surprised it’s an option, I’m surprised Jack had a thought. While Sawyer, Kate, and Jin are roaming around the island. Jack is staring at a pond. Jack Sucks Moment of the Week #1. Has it occurred to you that you might be able to do the something. It’s not like they are treating you well. You’ve been punched, karate kicked, and ingested a poison pill. This is the talent that Jack brings with him, that Jacob is so desperate to claim. The incredible ability to start at water for hours on end. Stupendous. This isn’t a tropical vacation on a cruise line featuring line dancing, a chocolate fountain, and a mashed potato bar. Either get answers, or get the fock out of the Temple. Maybe it’s time MIB got someone to put your life to an end. Dogen: everything is an option, but I would have to stop you. Ominous words, but come on. Dogen’s version of being tough is a lengthy bout of passive aggressiveness. Maybe give you a dirty look. Or maybe he is smiling at you. Who can tell the difference? After an appetite-building tic tac toe competition on the promenade dirt deck, Hurley leaves in search of the mashed potato bar. Jacob is looking into the dirty spring, trying to make a decision if it should be drained and scrubbed, then have Bill Murray eat the doodie while Jacob faints. J: Hurley, I need you, someone is coming to the island. Now, while it is possible that someone physically might be coming, in which case I was hoping it would be Desmond, it now appears that this was more of an abstract description. Jacob was hoping that Jack was going to pack a suitcase to include logic, brain matter, and street smarts this time when he came back to the island. But, boy, Jack likes pudding, and there is just only so much room in that head suitcase. He like pudding a lot. So Jacob wants to change Jack’s most basic way of thinking, build his confidence, make him into an important person. Jacob is so very focked. You’d have an easier time proving global warming exists.

Annotated Alice by Lewis Carroll. Not only is this a well timed plug for the Tim Burton Johnny Depp movie coming out, it’s another example of Jack’s obsession with this Alice stuff. He read them to Aaron back when Jack and Kate weren’t fighting and living in as the Oceanic 6. David gives the cold shoulder to Jack. Honestly, I was starting to nod off. The slow pace of this episode takes a shocking turn for the slower as Jack is trying to cram a month’s worth of parenting into an afternoon. Yawn. In a season that is supposed to be giving us answers, we get a Dr Phil afterschool special. I’d like to think that when Dr Phil gets liquored up, he reveals who he really is. “Maybe I wouldn’t have punched the b!!tch if she would have just shut the hell up.” Sayid is worried about everybody in the Temple starting at him like he just accidently released a really loud fart during a silent moment at a church service. Jack tells him it was poison, they are trying to kill you, it happened to Claire, and in about 5 minutes, I’m going to leave by secret tunnel, leaving only Miles behind to protect you so that I can go break some mirrors and stare at the ocean. Jack definitely said some of that. Jin is injured badly, which leads to speculation that you need some kind of wound to allow an infection in. Sayid had an obvious one. Claire, well she did have scratches about herself when the missle hit her Dharma house. She was wobbly and was seeing things, making Miles feel creeped out by her. She did say she had to stitch herself up at one point, so she has been injured. Claire frees Jin from the bear trap and talks about remembering when the Oceanic 6 left. I was surprised; Claire isn’t really crazy, she is simply being careful due to the Others hunting her, her friends abandoning her, and having her son stolen by Kate. Realistically, Claire might be the most sane person on the island right now. Quick, name somebody more sane. I didn’t think so. Jin passes out from the pain, but have no fear. You will be tormented soon enough when Sun shows up. They are stretching out that reunion, about a season and a half now, and I could not possibly care less. Claire, please kill Sun. Hurley is wandering through the bowels of the Temple with more writing on his arm than a high school varsity linebacker on academic probabation taking a Chemistry midterm, or Jack shopping for a pair of socks. Dogen confronts Hurley. Jacob goes his Great Gazoo appearance and tells Hurley that he can do what he wants because he is a candidate. Hugo is supposed to bring Jack along, and is reluctant to try because he recognizes that Jack is a stubborn assh0le. So, Hurley tells Jack that he found a secret tunnel, and that he “has what it takes”. By this statement, I felt that Hurley meant that Jack had that odd combination of brains and common sense that he could realistically lose 700 straight games of tic tac toe to a beheaded chicken. But Jacob is manipulating “ole pudding head” another way, so Jack is now motivated enough to go see Jacob. Or motivated enough to leave the Temple since Kate isn’t coming back, so it’s time to follow her out into the jungle. But it was certainly a good idea not to find out how Sayid and Claire got infected, who were the people in the Temple protecting themselves from, and asking them about Jacob. Because at this point, you don’t want answers before you wander into a jungle where more and more of your people are dying all the time. Jack Sucks Moment of the Week #2.

Jin has a nasty wound on his leg. Claire is rummaging around her camp site, which is next to what looks like the old Swan hatch, post explosion. Oddly enough, she was not around apparently when the bomb went off and brought the Losties to 2007. She should have been there to great them. Jin looks inside a baby crib, to discover animal parts, including what looks like a polar bear skull. Claire has a bit of The Shining or Psycho in her. I like this character so much better than the pouty one yelling at Charlie or “Wheras Meeyyyy Beybey”. Claire ties up still breathing Justin to interrogate him like Rousseau did to Sayid years ago, and demands her son back. Justin tells Jin that she is going to kill them both, like Richard told Sawyer last week. Who gives a dam if Justin dies? He is as useful as a can opener when you don’t have a can of soup. Jack and Hurley bump into Kate at a creek. If you have a chance to see this scene again, picture Kate as MIB, then listen to the entire dialogue. You could swap Kate and MIB here, and not miss a beat, and the conversation becomes much more interesting. There is no reason to think MIB can’t switch his face still, as Ilana told us that assuming that MIB killed Jacob, and not Ben as it really happened. MIB leaves Sawyer at some point, as we find out eventually. Anyway, the take aways from the scene is that Jin is supposedly headed back to Temple, Sawyer is on his own, Kate is going to try to find Claire, Jack says something happened to Claire, Kate insists that she has to find her. Jack invites her along, against Hurley’s objections. Jack is unable to follow even Jacob’s simplest requests, and is ready to scrap it all for Kate to come along. Jack Sucks Moment of the Week #3. That’s a hell of a candidate you get there, Jacob. Kate: I hope you find what you are looking for. At this moment, Jack’s mother is hoping Jack can find his father’s will. Want a drink? No thanks. Booo. Sober Jack is a dull boy. Jack’s mother says that all the males in the family are terrible communicators and that David is terrified of Jack. Dean Martin’s kids, I can accept being scared of their father. That guy could thrown some punches. Jack is as scary as a Mr Potato Head a silly wig. Unless David is scared that Jack will show up at his school on “what does your father do” day and say “I make a lot of people die on an island, I have bad tattoos, and won a staring contest with a brick.” If Jack were homeschooled, he would have been held back a few grades. Claire is still in the will, so Jack and she are still half siblings. Claire is sharpening her axe and sterilizing some equipment. Justin continues to whine about untying him so he can escape. They are trying to build some cheap sympathy because the was less of a d!ck when Aldo was trying to shoot Jin a couple of episodes ago. While Claire is stitching up Jin, she rambled on about being shot, how the Others have Aaron. First her father told her, then a friend told her. The friend is clearly MIB, but aren’t Christian and MIB one and the same? MIB has been loose on the island since the plane crash of 815? Why does Claire separate out MIB as two beings, when we have specifically been told they are one and the same. It’s unlikely that Claire saw MIB as Locke until very recently, yet immediately identifies him as friend. I wonder what Claire can see with her eyes in this state. Before disappearing in Season 4, she told Mile that she had been seeing things. Jin still wants to be Claire’s friend. Smart move. It’s hard to put into words how much LOST fans all over the world are rooting for Jungle Lizzie Borden to carve up Kate. No? Well I am, and that is all that matters. To quote the Queen in Alice in Wonderland “Off with her head!!!”

Hurley laments screwing things up back there for Jack and Kate. Jack is melancholy but pouty, making him a natural for a prime time science fiction action show. That was sarcasm, OK? H: I think you’d make a great dad. If Jack was a father to a potato, within 3 days he would have found a way to set it on fire by microwaving it too long. They stumble over Shannon’s asthma inhaler, the reason behind Sayid torturing Sawyer. They never did find the inhaler back then, but Sun found eucalyptus, which helped restore Shannon’s breathing. In the end, it didn’t matter since Shannon died soon after. They are at the caves again, from Season 1. Hurley poses the question, what if the skeletons were us? Well, we know the skeletons are a woman and a man. Here is an odd ball theory. What if those skeletons were Jacob and MIB. But one of the skeletons is a woman, how can that be? Well, MIB is a shape shifter and has appeared as both men and women. We don’t know his name, and have never seen the original form. Wait a minute. Sh!!t, the scene with Jacob on the beach in the Season 5 finale was probably his true form. Nevermind. I’m not going to erase this. I just need to see if it has legs in future episodes. Sh!!t. My Sucks Moment of the Week. Jack was chasing the ghost of his father, and the body wasn’t in the coffin and was never found on the island. That is still an unexplained mystery. Why did the body disappear? David is missing when Jack returns home. Making a phone call, Jack apologizes if he upset David and he is going to his mother’s house. Now, in the real world, this phone call would be more along the lines “Boy, you better get your ass home in 5 minutes, or I’m going to knock out your teeth with your Wii controller.” David’s mother’s house is #23, and Jack breaks in with a spare key. He snoops around his kid’s room. Good thing for Jack, the Patriot Act keeps getting renewed because I think this might actually be illegal in some parts of the world. He can’t find any pot, or used condoms, or manifestos about how the government is focking us with outrageous taxation and no representation of our interests by self serving politicians, or nudie magazines. But there is sheet music of Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu. I’d much rather listen to some Iggy and the Stooges from last week. This music is not my cup of tea, and just reading about the music selection made me somnambulant. Jack is listening to David’s messages and gets weepy. Here we go. Crying Jack. Get the man a drink already. More male bonding in the jungle. Hurley: I came back because Jacob said I was supposed to. Jack: I was broken, I stupidly thought this place could fix me. Let me correct Jack, in the Jack Sucks Moment of the Week #3 or #5 or whatever I’m up to. You were a drunk and a drug addict whose career, family life, and will to live completely crumbled. Broken? How about you think about going to rehab fixing you rather than an island. Where are you going to find a sponsor? They find a lighthouse. Remember how excited we were by the Swan hatch in Season 1 and 2? Hey, there’s a light house. So? How come we’ve never seen it before? Hurley: I guess we weren’t looking for it. What kind of reason is that? How big is this island that ladders to hidden caves, lighthouses, Temples don’t get discovered? Fine. I guess we will have to go with Jacob suddenly built it for Jack and Hurley. Hey, Jacob, how about you build yourself a replacement, and let these people go home? It’s inevitable. I will be sorely disappointed with any way this show ends. It’s been such a wild ride so far, but you really have to suspend disbelief and reason. Justin still being interrogated. Claire explains how she was tortured, which matches the same technique used on Sayid. Justin says that Claire was killing their people, the Others. Well, Rousseau wasn’t doing this stuff, killing Others, so it seems like Rousseau may not have been infected after all. It’s simply coincidental that Claire looks like Danielle, I guess. I’m still wondering about Juliet’s branding from Season 3, although I don’t suppose there is a connection. Jin spills the beans, Kate took Aaron, had him last 3 years, Justin says that is the truth. Why would Justin not say this before, but waited until Jin spoke first about it. Instead of untying Justin, Claire picks up an axe, and like Jack Nicholson from The Shining driving the blade into Scatman Carruthers heart, Claire matches it perfectly with one stroke right into Justin’s ticker. Holy hell, did that make me grin. I can’t wait to see Claire chasing Aaron through a snowy maze. See, Jack, now THAT’S what I call good parenting.

As Hurley and Jack enter the lighthouse, Jack shows up at the conservatorium, which is where dead people are turned to dust. A cheery sign out front welcomes all candidates. A bit too obvious of an Easter egg, I would tend to think. David is playing the piano, and when he is done, there is no applause. Practice or not, the silence that greeted that kid made me happy. Jack has an axe, so you better start running. Yes, Daniel Faraday also wanted to be a pianist but Eloise would not allow it because Daniel needed to dedicate his life to physics and his studies. Jack clearly has no ambitions for his son. Let’s face it, how many jobs are you going to get playing the piano? Dogen and his kid are at this same concert hall. Dogen starts talking in platitudes, almost like it was double speak for what Jacob might say. They are young and under a lot of pressure. It’s hard to watch but be unable to help, he has a gift, how long has he been playing? Jack doesn’t know. Exactly. Jack knows nothing. At the top of the lighthouse, we see open windows, mirrors, chains, large gears and what looks like a giant sun dial with numbers and names. Jacob’s not here yet, but let’s spin the wheel to #108. When you look at the list near the end of this write-up, you will see that the number #108 corresponds to “Wallace” Well, there has been no mention of a Wallace on this show. Walt? You would think that would be short for Walter. The #108 isn’t important anyway. The name is crossed off. Sure, it’s the sum of the individual numbers of the Vazentti equation, but nobody told us that numbers needed to be added, but that just that one number had to change. Nobody named Wallace is coming, and doesn’t refer to anybody on the island right now, with the only possible exeption being that Wallace is MIB’s name. Including the names of the dial, and other digging, I’ve updated the list of candidates we are aware of, at the end of this piece. Jack notices houses in the mirror, including the temple where Sun and Jin got married, the church where Sawyer wrote his letter, and Jack’s childhood home. Jack insists of turning the dial back to #23 so we can stare at his house a bit more. Jack: he’s been watching us. No sh!!t. At this point, I’m begging Hurley to look at the dial. You’ve been obsessed with the numbers for years. Jack just said #23. Look at the other numbers. Put 2 and 2 together. At this point, I know the number better than Hurley. I wake up mornings saying…23,42. Hurley has butterflies circling around inside his head. Just look for your name, big guy. Something. Do something. Nope, ‘ole Hurley is terrified of Jack. Jack: Hurley, I want some answers. Hurley: It doesn’t work that way. Exactly what Miles told Sawyer at Juliet’s grave. Jack becomes enraged. What does he want from me? Jack picks up a pipe and breaks all the mirrors. His backswing left a lot to be desired. It was like he was half heartedly swinging, hope none of the glass got in his hair. Broken pieces of glass scattered all over the floor, it was the most glitter the island has seen since Tom died. The mirrors have been odd this season. Jack looks at a mirror on the plane, sees the cut, gets very pensive. Kate looks in a mirror at auto shop and decides to go back to help Claire. John Locke looks into a mirror, decides to hang up on Jack’s office, then tells Helen that he is giving up believing in miracles. Jack looks in a mirror in the lighthouse, and all of the sudden doesn’t believe in destiny but is feeling betrayed and disillusioned. This is the guy who carried on with the hydrogen bomb idea because this was what Jack believed why he was on the island. Now, Jack has no idea why he is here, and is not happy about it, again. Jack is arguably the worst possible protector of this island. His little tantrums are so incredibly shallow and stupid. He isn’t Doubting Thomas. He is Stupid Thomas. The only time he showed that faith in the island, he failed to do what he set out to do. Truthfully, Jack doesn’t have what it takes, never did, and is a failure in his father’s eyes, my eye’s, the governor of New York’s eyes, but not Jacob’s eyes. Jacob likes to hang out with losers.

Jack tells his son that he’s going to teach him it’s bad idea to not tell him where he was going and promptly gave him a cauliflower ear. In my world. J: You were great in there. David: I didn’t want you to see me fail. J: that’s OK, I fail all the time. Your grandfather always told me that I didn’t have what it takes, and he was right. Then there was some happy horsesh!!t about love and David could never fail, and be part of your life, and other sappy completely unrealistic things that just left my head spinning. This is apparently what family is all about. A kid disrespects his father, runs away, not only doesn’t get punished, but gets pizza and a loving pat on the head. In this flash sideways, I think Jack might be gay. Why does Jack never cut out the middle man (Kate) and just go ahead and stick his tongue down Sawyer’s throat? I don’t care about bonding with lying disrespectful kids, love triangles and rhombuses, sappy daddy issues. Give me Claire splitting somebody down the middle with an axe. Jack is looking at the ocean. My mouth is agape. That’s how Jack started off the episode, staring at the pond at the Temple. It’s the new Olympic biathlon. I’m really beginning to loathe Jacob. Hurley: Jack freaked out, what you wanted me to do, I didn’t get done, and you don’t even care? H: did you want Jack to see what was in the mirror? Jacob: I want him to see how important he is. Fockity fock, Jack important? I’m in hell. Jack wouldn’t be important if he was the last man on earth and the last chance humanity had of procreating. Jacob: Jack is here to do something, but he has to find it himself, sometimes you have to let them look at the ocean for a while. How about you drink a tall glass of shut the fock up, Jacob? We have a handful of episodes left, he are stuck with filler LAX crap, and now Jacob is telling Hurley riddles and wants Jack to think things through. We don’t have that much time, you idiot. Jack needs a whole season to change his mind. Jacob can’t die enough times to make me happy. Jacob: I had to get you and Jack away from the Temple, someone bad is coming, but we can’t warn the others. Jacob is once again all about sacrificing lives for his cause. Claire wants to know why Jin told her that Kate was raising Aaron. Jin confesses his lies, and is now thinking on this feet. He explains that Claire needs him to help save Aaron from the Others, and there is a secret way in. Jin must be referring to the French hole under Temple, where the Losties got caught. Not much of a secret. Claire declares that if Kate was raising Aaron, she would kill her. Yes!!!!!!!! Plus, MIB visited Aaron off island as Claire, and told Kate not to ever bring him back. MIB knows Kate is responsible, plus he has John’s memories, but he is preferring to lie to Claire at this point. MIB enters the camp. Claire: this isn’t John, this is my friend.


2 - Lacombe (French guy)
4 - Locke (John)
8 - Reyes (Hugo)
10 - Mattingly (US Army)
12 - Foster
13 - Beckett
14 – Pryce (Other)
15 - Ford (James)
16 - Jarrah (Sayid)
17 - Barnes
18 - Kueffner
19 - Nguyen
20 - Rousseau (Robert, Danielle, or Alex)
21 - McHenly
22 - Moorhead
23 - Shephard (Jack or Christian)
24 - Kluxen
25 - Ashen
26 - Bozarth
27 - Dorrie
28 - Holland
29 – Brennan (French guy)
30 - Wade
31 - Toms
32 - Rutherford (Shannon)
33 - Novak
34 - Grimaldi
35 - Brennan
36 - Syzmanksi
37 - Torres
38 - Linsatrom
39 - Morioka
40 - Dowsen
42 - Kwon (Jin, Sun, or Ji Yeon)
43 - Barnes
44 – Martinez
48 - Stanhope (Goodwin, Other)
49 - Eko (Mr. or Yemi, depending on what their last name was)
51 - Austen
55 - Kennedy
56 - Hansen
58 - Burke (Juliet)
59 - Suzuki
60 - Kysea
64 – Goldstein
73 - Costa
77 - Franetzki
90 - Troupe (Gary, Lostie)
94 - Cohen
96 - Greeson
97 - Pallison
98 - Horton
99 - Sookson
100 - Barfield
101 - Faraday (Daniel)
102 - Montand (French guy)
103 - Horsman
104 - Lewis
106 – Radzinsky (Dharma)
107 - Thomson
108 - Wallace
109 - Friendly (Tom)
110 - Eipons
111 - Klein
112 - Horton
113 - Worden
114 - Yamada
115 - Bargas
116 - Lambert
117 - Linus (Roger, Ben, or Emily)
118 - Chavez
119 - Almieda
120 - Rodriguez
121 - Nielson
122 - Freed
124 - Dawson (Michael, Walt)
125 - Owens
126 - Renti
127 - Mora
128 - Paddock
129 - Campbell
130 - Tillman
134 – Chang (Dr Pierre or wife Lara)
140 - Lewis (Charlotte or her parents David, Jeanette)
171 – Straume (Miles)
175 - Costa
195 - Pace (Charlie)
197 – Sheckler
202 - Harggus
221 - Carlyle (Boone)
222 - O'Toole
231 - Amistad
233 – Jones (US Army)
249 – Garner
251 – Yaris
272 – Oralingo
282 - Aguila
285 – Jenkins (Steve, Lostie)
291 – Domingo
301 – Mars (US Marshall)
313 - Littleton (Claire or Aaron)
317 - Cunningham (US Army)
321 – Fernandez (Nikki, Lostie)
335 – Henderson (Rose’s maiden name)
337 - Martin
346 - Grant

?? – Davison
?? - Goodspeed (Horace or Ethan or Olivia or Amy)
?? – Pickett (Danny or Colleen, Others)
?? - Reynolds
?? – Sullivan (Lostie)

#51 Austen. Yes, time for the weeping and gnashing of teeth. Kate in on the list. Fock.

#197 Sheckler is a reference to Ted Sheckler, a developmentally disabled entrepreneur character invoked occasionally by stand up comedian Jim Nortonn on the Opie and Anthony Show, heard on Sirius/XM Radio. The assignment of the number 197 is significant because the show is heard on Channel 197 on the Sirius platform (202 on the XM platform.

#202 Harggus is a reference to Paul Harggis, a character portrayed by American stand up comedian Jim Norton on the Opie and Anthony Show, heard on Sirius/XM Radio. Paul Hargghis, known as "Uncle Paul" is 57 years young and prefers the company of, um, younger girls and boys, especially ones who don’t tattle. Opie and Anthony appear on XM channel 202, thus explaining the assignment of the number to Uncle Paul

I am a die hard fan of O&A, with Jim Norton. Very funny show, wonderfully politically incorrect, and equal opportunity defender of free speech, especially in comedy and satire. Jim Norton is becoming a break out comedian star, appearing on HBO, Lucky Louie, a few movies, was a regular on Jay Leno’s prime time show, etc. It’s wonderful seeing the greatest radio show ever immortalized in the cannon of the greatest TV show ever. I’ve been looking for references to the Ron and Fez show (they share the same two channels as O&A), but haven’t found them yet. One the writers of LOST is a fan. When he did an interview on Ron & Fez, he said the phrase “Razzle Dazzle”, which was uttered by Nikki when she was fighting bad guys on show within a show Expose in the buried alive episode of LOST, was an inspiration due to usage on O&A. Maybe not interesting to you, but I found it compelling.

4 comments:

  1. Razzle Dazzle was actually a reference to the Ron & Fez Show and not to O&A, as that's how producer East Side Dave's old "Board Gossip" segment used to start. Before that episode aired, writer Brian K Vaughn informed the Ron & Fez Show to look for something familiar in that night's episode.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought that Razzle Dazzle was a reference to Steve C., and that he had titled his Saturday Night Virus show the Razzle Dazzle Variety Hour. Hell, they play clips of Steve saying Razzle Dazzle from time to time.

    The ESD usage of the term is accurate, however.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You could be right on the Virus Show thing. Steve C was the one who did the "Razzle Dazzle, it's time for Board Gossip with East Side Dave" opener for R&F.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just googled "World's biggest peace of shit" and it gave me a link to this article.

    ReplyDelete